T Nation

Potential Best / Worst Day

I don’t usually make my own topics but for some reason I’m coming here, and I’m not much for complaining about my own situations but for some reason I feel compelled to get it out here.

For starters I’m an RA at my university, first semester on the job. My day started off with me running out of time to get breakfast because I left my ID (use it for everything) in my room and didn’t realize it till I was in the dining hall. I got back to my room, found it, and went to class. When I got back from class I realized I locked myself out of my own room when I went back and got the ID. Since I’m an RA its a pretty simple fix to just get another RA to master key me in the room, avoiding charges and other paperwork bullshit. I finally get lunch and move on to my next class. Not a very exciting class but it doesn’t matter… moving on its time for my workout.

I went to the gym after having been out for a week because of training for my job which went day and night for 6 days. I had previously been using the Accommodating Resistance Bands(first time) with a friend for a month and could tell I was finally making real progress on my lifts. So its a chest day and of coarse I’m excited as hell to see what I can do with bench, because yes its my favorite ego booster. I do some warm ups, and even use the bands for a real intense warm up. So it comes time for the big set I’ve been dying to try since I got off the bands and had a full recovery. It turns out my 2 rep max on my bench turned into a 7 rep max in a little under a month. I hadn’t made significant progress on my bench IN 2 YEARS! I was excited and channeled the energy into dips with added weight hanging from a weight belt when the whole gymnastics (girls) team walks in and they just stare at me as I bang out my set (I don’t grunt or draw attention with any of our usual cardinal gym sins). Needless to say the rest of my time in the gym I was really fired up and had an amazing workout.

But now is where the slash comes into play, I realize the first part of the things going wrong in my day aren’t so bad and are quite honestly a joke. But right now I’m waiting on a phone call from a girl who I have fallen in love with (this a first, I’m 20, and I don’t lose my cool for anyone up until now) to tell me weather or not were ready to take our relationship to an official level. Things have been going wonderful so far and all the signs are there that this is going to work out and be great… but for some reason I’m still really worried the shit is about to hit the fan, and I left my poncho somewhere else (meaning I let my defenses down and my feelings get way to strong)…

I’ll post after I know some more… comments welcome, just want to be ready if its fail…

I may sound like a complete a-hole here, but here goes. When your best day is one in which you realize you’ve made some decent gains on the bench, it might be time to re-evaluate what’s important in life.

Surely, lifting is important to everyone here and it’s important to me too. However, there ought to be much more noteworthy times in one’s life than a 7 rep PR.

If I were you, I’d actually consider yesterday the best day of your life because of the butterflies in your stomach over this girl. Love is hard to find and the fact that you’re working yourself up over a phone call from a girl with whom you know it is going great, and you can’t bear the possibility that she’s going to let you down… well, that feeling is real right there. That feeling right there is indicative of what she truly means to you. And that’s what is best in life.

[quote]Bergman wrote:

If I were you, I’d actually consider yesterday the best day of your life because of the butterflies in your stomach over this girl. Love is hard to find and the fact that you’re working yourself up over a phone call from a girl with whom you know it is going great, and you can’t bear the possibility that she’s going to let you down… well, that feeling is real right there. That feeling right there is indicative of what she truly means to you. And that’s what is best in life. [/quote]

Best post I’ve read in a while.

Well thanks Bergman and that’s very true. Well from a short conversation I had today with her she doesn’t think I’m the same guy I was a month ago. The sad part is she is actually right. I was much more of an a’hole to everyone for the last year or so. I had been a “nice guy” for my entire life till I realized it wasn’t worth it anymore. But she sort of rewarmed my cold heart and I started to be “too nice” AGAIN! Now by too nice I don’t mean bend over backwards to kiss her ass. I’m just not openly expressing my dislike or wishes of harm to people anymore.

All I have to say is don’t try to bust the kids in the dorm! I never me an RA I liked but then again that was probably becasue we liked to drink underage and smoke in the dorm…

Make a first by being a cool RA… if that is possible.

orders rage a beer in consolation

Heh, looks like I called that one completely wrong then. My bad!

Wrong.

What is best in life:

[quote]Ghost22 wrote:
Wrong.

What is best in life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V30tyaXv6EI [/quote]

Words to live by.

[quote]1porsche wrote:
Ghost22 wrote:
Wrong.

What is best in life:

Words to live by.[/quote]

Well I think that clip definitely put me in higher spirits.

So here’s how it ended. I got back into my usual a’hole grove. Everything seemed normal for the most part. I did everything I could without being a bitch or being weak and making her think less of me. Fast forward to tonight, skip some of the inbetween shit about me acting normal again, and now we get to the point where I ask her if she will finally start dating me. She said “no”

So we talk about it for a while, first half hour is her trying to comfort me and then me telling her I don’t need the bull get to the reasons why. End of the story she doesn’t have the intense level of feelings I have for her, shes been engaged before so she knows what love is better than I do, but when she described it, it matched up with how I felt and she just didn’t have anything. She doesn’t feel much for anyone and isn’t sure she could ever love again. She is damaged from her last relationship, and I know there isn’t a thing I can do. I hate being this helpless. I told her I’m not done trying and she couldn’t convince me otherwise

Now I know the advice and I know the comfort stuff. I’ve talked to my best chick friend and told her I know all I needed was for her to listen. So t-men, what is your suggestion? Do I just let time heal my currently shattered heart? Do I keep working on her for a while?

Current plan is squats and milk… no pooper to stick it in …

On a side note as an RA I’m fair about shit… just don’t wake me up, dont wake anyone else up, and if possible go to another floor. I’m not here to change them or save them from themselves.
If they stick by the golden rule “Don’t get caught” I see no issues.

Don’t waste your time trying to make something out of nothing. It sounds like she was trying to be nice about it but the end result is the same.
Feel your pain and move on.No need to keep opening up wounds by hanging out with her.

If in time she comes around and you want to give it another chance, go for it, but you are young, in college, go out there and live your life for you.

Ok, so I’m late in replying but here’s an update. Everything went wrong. She started to fall me again after I crushed all my feelings for her and got rid of them. I realized my feelings for her were dead and that it was time to move on.

FAST Forward to yesterday (2 weeks since I was really pissed and felt like the world was crashing around me), I went to sleep with 3 girls in bed with me and woke up with one(they set me up, I knew it). Now me and the one that I woke up with after a night of fun are well on our way dating and I’m already significantly more satisfied.

The old girl is trying to find out if I’m pissed (I’m actually grateful) and can’t seem to take the fact that I don’t care about doing anything with her anymore.
For all the other young guys like myself, I have some good news. The older the girls get the more they like someone that’s down to earth. Some of them just need to party it out for a while and get it out of they’re system.

[quote]RageInspired wrote:
Ok, so I’m late in replying but here’s an update. Everything went wrong. She started to fall me again after I crushed all my feelings for her and got rid of them. I realized my feelings for her were dead and that it was time to move on.
FAST Forward to yesterday (2 weeks since I was really pissed and felt like the world was crashing around me), I went to sleep with 3 girls in bed with me and woke up with one(they set me up, I knew it). Now me and the one that I woke up with after a night of fun are well on our way dating and I’m already significantly more satisfied. The old girl is trying to find out if I’m pissed (I’m actually grateful) and can’t seem to take the fact that I don’t care about doing anything with her anymore.
For all the other young guys like myself, I have some good news. The older the girls get the more they like someone that’s down to earth. Some of them just need to party it out for a while and get it out of they’re system.[/quote]

My RA busted me for walking around the dorm with a handle of Evan Williams in my hand, what a fucking asshole right? lol.

Glad to hear everything worked out man.

[quote]RageInspired wrote:
Ok, so I’m late in replying but here’s an update. Everything went wrong. She started to fall me again after I crushed all my feelings for her and got rid of them. I realized my feelings for her were dead and that it was time to move on.
FAST Forward to yesterday (2 weeks since I was really pissed and felt like the world was crashing around me), I went to sleep with 3 girls in bed with me and woke up with one(they set me up, I knew it). Now me and the one that I woke up with after a night of fun are well on our way dating and I’m already significantly more satisfied. The old girl is trying to find out if I’m pissed (I’m actually grateful) and can’t seem to take the fact that I don’t care about doing anything with her anymore.
For all the other young guys like myself, I have some good news. The older the girls get the more they like someone that’s down to earth. Some of them just need to party it out for a while and get it out of they’re system.[/quote]

I’m glad for you bro. Seems like you ended up on top of that one. But what I dont understand is… why did the first chick have to be in love with you to go out with you? I think I’m missing something.

agreed, I thought love develops after the relationship actually gets started…