So after snatching endless triples at Excel, me and my best bro Mike had amassed a huge hunger that could only be satisfied by one thing… the MIGHTY WOK!
After searching for months for the perfect single burner propane stove with enough BTUs to burn a hole through the space shuttle’s underside, I’d finally found one in the Bowery of NYC at a Chinese Restaurant Supply store last month. What I didn’t know is that today would be the day it would breathe it’s first fire.
Mike and I stopped in at a Chinese grocer and picked up our materials: peanut oil, oyster sauce, and SPECIAL beef of unknown origins. We were racing against the catabolic clock! It’s ticking was a constant reminder that time was of the essence.
Immediately after entering kitchen stadium (my apartment) we got to work. Mike was in charge of defrosting the chicken and cutting an onion. I did everything else.
With a flick of the match and MIGHTY ROAR the single burner propane stove belched it’s first flame like a mighty dragon awakening from it’s slumber as King Arthur pulled excalibur out of the rocky face.
At first I was worried, I’d never worked with this much raw BTU power but I realized I could not turn back now. Onward I pressed like in the rack with 265.2 lbs over my head and elbows locked out.
I threw the wok onto the burner with a defiant shout and sweat pouring down my brow from the sweltering conflagration below me. Mike helped by putting the chicken in the wok and I got to work stirring it briskly. Thank God for magnificent mobility, my wrists flew through a range of motion never before imaged and the chicken danced along the walls of the wok like little ballerinas.
Next up were the vegetables, but since they lack free radicals and protein content I will not discuss them further.
For the finishing touch we doused the crackling dish in a shower of oyster, soy, and chili sauces. Neighbors from all around smelled the wafting aroma of our heavenly post workout snack and began to congregate around our porch outside where we were cooking. Indeed, it was a brisk day in New England, but the glow of the wok provided a warming comfort for all who gathered.
Works cannot do justice to the meal itself, so pictures must suffice…