T Nation

Post Kid Advice For Wife


Hello all. My wife and I have 2 kids, the younger of which is 1.5yrs. She’s almost done nursing him (self wean). She didn’t want to do anything too extreme whilst nursing for fear of losing supply.

She was 5’9 135lbs (lean with muscle) before kid 1 and the weight fell off as she nursed him and she got back to her old weight in no time with light training and diet.

With kid 2 she is still 155 after nursing for 1.5 yrs. This is unacceptable for her. She still wears a size six and looks awesome but she is not okay with the extra fat.

We had a very negative '14-'16 with a failing business, major unpaid OT for me at work, little sleep and learning how to live with two kids and the money stress of it all. So obviously that played no small role in her stagnation this go round.

We got the stressors out of our life for '17 and we’ve been getting 8hrs of sleep every night. I have her weight training 3 times per week and we do kettle bell swings 2-3 times per week and walks as often as possible. The results aren’t coming in as fast as she’d like, she feels that they aren’t coming in at all.

It’s worth noting that she’s often tired and occaisionally she’s cold. 2 young kids and a house to run will make you tired and we keep the house at 68 to save money in winter… so it’s a tough call about whether thyroid is involved.

So now the point of the thread (finally). I need advice from women who had trouble leaning out after kids but fought through it. I try to speak reason and just tell her with calories, sleep, training and stress in check she will lose the fat she just has to trust the process. Her rebuttal is: “what do you know? You’re a man who grew traps and thighs and never leaned out and been consistent yourself.” She’s got me there, I’m working on it right beside her.

The facts:
Her: 29yo 5’9" 156lbs

Diet: Primal (paleo + dairy and tatoes). 1200-1500 cals. 130gr protein balance is fat and some carbs. I argue this is too few cals at <10cals/lb but ya know.

Weights: Giant set of incline db bench-> leg ext-> db row-> leg curl for 12 reps each excercise. 60-90 seconds rest then repeat set 3 more times. She was in a fender bender in late 16 and the chiropracter said to lay off spinal loading for a few months. Also this is the most work I could fit into 30 minutes so we can work it into her schedule. She’s progressing with weights regularly and is liking this style more than power lifting movements.

Mind set: She was heavy as a little kid and got teased big time. She was lean and smokin hot when we met at 15yo (she worked out and cut out sugar and soda). She is not okay with extra fat hanging around, at all, ever. Hence this request for advice. She won’t eat anything processed/boxed or fast food. She’s the nutrition NAZI and I swear she can tell if I bought crummy food at work through telekenesis.

So any advice from the women out there? Diet, training, mindset. Is a trip to an endocrinologist warranted?



Not a women, but a husband of 27 years, of a health conscious wife.
I would be concerned about thyroid as you point out. In particular Hashimotos Thyroiditis. Thyroid corrections with meds can take months. A simple blood test can help make the diagnosis. For what it’s worth as you know , exercise is only part of the equation.
Good luck.


Blood test it is. It would at least rule that out as a cause. I did some reading about t3/t4, synthroid and iodine. There are so many quacks and grey area around what hormone levels should be and how to fix them. It would be a hard sell to get her on a maintenance drug. I would have to find a doc looking to use drugs to fix the metabolism, not prescribe it forever. Thanks.


I would make it simple . See her family doc, blood test for thyroid function, they should able to handle this


I would suggest making the trip to the endocrinologist just to be safe and it’s always good to know what’s going on with her body.

It sounds like you had a rough couple years and I’m glad everything is getting better. If she’s making progress that’s great, it’s always hard to gauge progress on your own especially when you see yourself everyday and don’t notice little changes so I’m sure your positive feedback helps.

I would suggest training more than 3 days a week if possible. 4-5 at least and calories could be higher on training days and lower on the off days. Her diet should really correlate with her training program, the timing of the macros is very important.

Changing up the routine is good. Maybe it’s a good time to take a look over her diet again and try to make some changes in the gym… ex: increase volume, increase intensity, add some cardio etc.
Everyone thinks their training hard in the gym until someone pushes them even harder so a little more encouragement from you could help too!