Post Here To Solemnly Renounce Your God

pookie 2006-02-16 22:03:20 UTC #1

There we go. Maybe we can get our "Atheist" thread back, now.

Any believer posting here solemnly and publicly renounces his God, faith and religion by the very act of posting; so whatever they write about belief/religion/Scripture should simply be discounted, since apostates and heretics have no business evangelizing.

Since God is everywhere and always watching, you post at your eternal soul's peril.

Want to spend eternity with us?

Didn't think so.

Now, where were we?

monkeymeat 2006-02-16 22:12:17 UTC #2

Amen, brother;)

sasquatch 2006-02-16 22:16:16 UTC #3

Get over yourself. If your ANTI-conviction isn't strong enough to handle (nay)sayers that says quite a lot. And let me add--what an exciting thread this will be with 2 people agreeing with one another throughout.
Quite thought provoking.

My God, I'm sure, will forgive me for trespassing.

grew7 2006-02-16 22:16:34 UTC #4

God knows we athiests needed a thread like this.

monkeymeat 2006-02-16 22:26:25 UTC #5

I'm glad all xtians aren't dicks like you.

pookie 2006-02-16 22:31:44 UTC #6

What God? The one you just solemnly and publicly renounced?

Good luck with that, heathen.

pookie 2006-02-16 22:34:57 UTC #7

Maybe we should start a pool and bet on how many so-called Christians will renounce their faith before the weekend by posting here.

I'd pick 666, but that's a bit high. I'll bet on seven before monday.

One down...

vroom 2006-02-16 22:38:20 UTC #8

I say 69!

Ramen.

sasquatch 2006-02-16 22:41:18 UTC #9

yes, that one.

sasquatch 2006-02-16 22:43:30 UTC #10

See, now that's humorous.

Pookie, I'd have expected much better from you. Try not to take yourself, or your thread so serious.

SkyzykS 2006-02-16 22:53:06 UTC #11

He's just mad cause God is smarter, stronger, and has a cooler avatar.
Besides, It's Pookie. He's allways serious.

pookie 2006-02-16 22:53:37 UTC #12

Now, back to our regularly scheduled atheist programming...

You know what I miss from religion? Rituals. Ceremonies. Pump and circumstance and all that.

Religions all have pre-scripted ceremonies for most of life's important events.

Births are celebrated with baptisms. What do you do if you're an atheist? Throw a "meet our baby" party? Having any kind of formal ceremony looks silly.

Then there's marriage. You can get a civil marriage, but it's performed at the court house or at city hall in a little room with neon lighting and beige carpeting. You can play a tape cassette on a boom box for "ambiance." It definitely lacks something. At least compared to a marriage in a large church or cathedral. The judge reads the relevant passages from whatever regional laws apply. Nothing about the wife owing obedience or anything like that. It's pretty sucky.

Funerals. Not as much of a problem for the atheist, as if he's the one who's dead, well he's gone and that's it. But for your loved one who get to dispose of your rotting carcass, what are they to do with it? A short stay at the funeral home? Maybe. People will by flower for your corpse and comment on how nice they've made you look. More annoyingly, they'll comment on how you're in a much better place now. Really? How'bout we trade places then, ok?

But I digress. After the funeral home, you can't really get "a service". Again, all the ceremony and ritual is missing.

I guess the best bet is incineration and followed by flushing the ashes down the toilet.

My problem with that is that I always wanted to get a tombstone. I'd so love to have one that said "Please do not resuscitate."

sasquatch 2006-02-16 22:55:28 UTC #13

And I'm glad not to be a contemporary of yours. Out of curiosity I read your previous, and only, last 8 posts. So intellectually stimulating. I see why you're a non-believer. The other possibility isn't even an option.

sugarfree 2006-02-16 22:57:28 UTC #14

If God is inside us, then I hope he likes fajita's, cause that's what he's getting tonight

pookie 2006-02-16 22:59:50 UTC #15

I just noticed a flaw in my cunning plan.

Once one of the believers has publicly renounced his faith, he can keep pestering us. It's not like his non-existing God is going to smite him on the spot or anything...

Damn. I hate being foiled.

I'll take comfort in the fact that he paid with his immortal soul for the privilege of bitching and moaning on a thread. A fair price.

pookie 2006-02-16 23:04:54 UTC #16

My grandma got very angry with me when I was a kid. She told me "God is everywhere." and I asked (innocently, not in a smartass way) "Even in the toilet bowl?"

That day I learned that God is everywhere, EXCEPT in the yucky places.

vroom 2006-02-16 23:10:26 UTC #17

Pookie,

I think there are plenty of ceremonies, so many in fact that we've lost sight of the fact.

Open a case of beer and invite some friends over...

Good for any damned occasion!

pookie 2006-02-16 23:10:42 UTC #18

Just because you don't get the jokes doesn't mean I don't make them.

...And two down.

KJ_Bridgewater 2006-02-16 23:13:14 UTC #19

Does this mean you're renouncing the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

SkyzykS 2006-02-16 23:18:22 UTC #20

You may never know, though, how many people tried to respond and Poof! vanished into nothingness for their transgression. The view counter was over 500 when I last looked. There could be hundreds of people that have disintegrated because of this.

As far as God in the toilet bowl goes- Come on Pookie, you seem familiar with theology. Bad things go down, Good things go up. What confuses me is Farts. They just kind of float around, and don't go down or up. Are farts like little zones of purgatory or something?
I'm not to clear on stuff like that. I was baptized, but never went after that.