T Nation

Politically Mixed Marriage Ethics

So here’s the hypothetical situation.

You belong to one major political party. Your spouse belongs to the other. Your spouse travels for work, so they typically vote absentee. Before they leave on a trip, they ask you to mail their ballot for them. You are certain that they will be voting for “the other guy”. Do you mail the ballot or not?

After you’ve answered it for yourself, here’s an article from the WSJ that prompted this thread. I haven’t been able to get it off my mind since I read it, and I’m wondering what other people think about what this woman choose to do with her husband’s ballot.

I didn’t read the story but if I had the chance I may not send in the absentee ballot. Here’s another great question that can arise from this situation. Is having a potential girlfriend voting for the other party a deal breaker?

BTW… the link won’t work for me.

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
Do you mail the ballot or not?

[/quote]

Emphatically yes.

Link does not work.

My wife and I see the political landscape from different view points. It isn’t a problem at all. We are adults though, and can have a conversation about such things.

As for the ballot, I would mail it. That is her right. Even if her’s was the one vote to let the “other guy win”, it is still her voice and this is her country too.

If you respect your partner, you respect their wish and their right to vote as they.see fit.

The link at the top should work now.

That is interesting, when she claimed that she “decided to do the right thing” I was automatically assuming that her husband of 35 years would have his wishes respected.

Apparently I need to level up my cynicism and general distrust some more.

Seems like a perfectly reasonable action by a liberal woman. She “did the right thing” as she, and other liberals, view right and wrong. This is a prime example of why I can’t stand liberals and don’t trust women.

To answer the question, of course I would mail my wife’s ballot - Beans summed it up perfectly.

That is really funny. But if it happened to me I’d be furious.

My wife and children and underlings shall be subject to my opinion, who they vote for is determined by their Lord, myself. This is therefore a non-issue.

J/k…I’ve been reading too much A Game of Thrones.

Of course you let them vote the way thay want.

It’s more fun to goad them into voting for a third party anyway.

my wife regularly votes for the wrong person. I dont slash her tires, hide her keys, or “forget” to grab her absentee. thats just plain ridiculous and immature.

i was actually pretty shocked to see that the Lib Lady from the article did just that. This is behavior I would expect from my 6 yr old daughter. Not two married adults that love and respect each other.

Don’t vote or send in your ballot either, your votes are just canceling each others out anyway.

My Daughter and Husband are opposites in the Political arena … If I were either I would mail my ballet in

[quote]orion wrote:
That is interesting, when she claimed that she “decided to do the right thing” I was automatically assuming that her husband of 35 years would have his wishes respected.

[/quote]

That was the part that really got me. I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I’m still wondering how we can define “do the right thing” so differently.

[quote]stefan128 wrote:
I didn’t read the story but if I had the chance I may not send in the absentee ballot. Here’s another great question that can arise from this situation. Is having a potential girlfriend voting for the other party a deal breaker?

[/quote]

Maybe that’s you just answered this one for yourself. I’m surprised more people haven’t admitted this, BTW. If you would be tempted to not mail her ballot if given the opportunity, then maybe a politically mixed marriage isn’t for you. I guess you could pose this hypothetical situation to a prospective spouse and see how they would respond.

Like Beans, I don’t think having different politics is a deal breaker, IF neither of you are so rigid in your ideas that you can’t be respectful and see the other’s point of view.

If you like to talk politics a lot, and politics frequently lead to heated conversations that end in someone being called a “Commie” or a “Nazi” then it could make such a relationship a really bad idea. :wink:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:
I didn’t read the story but if I had the chance I may not send in the absentee ballot. Here’s another great question that can arise from this situation. Is having a potential girlfriend voting for the other party a deal breaker?

[/quote]

Maybe that’s you just answered this one for yourself. I’m surprised more people haven’t admitted this, BTW. If you would be tempted to not mail her ballot if given the opportunity, then maybe a politically mixed marriage isn’t for you. I guess you could pose this hypothetical situation to a prospective spouse and see how they would respond.

Like Beans, I don’t think having different politics is a deal breaker, IF neither of you are so rigid in your ideas that you can’t be respectful and see the other’s point of view.

If you like to talk politics a lot, and politics frequently lead to heated conversations that end in someone being called a “Commie” or a “Nazi” then it could make such a relationship a really bad idea. :wink:

[/quote]
Or eventful and full of aggressive sex.

38 years, huh?

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:
I didn’t read the story but if I had the chance I may not send in the absentee ballot. Here’s another great question that can arise from this situation. Is having a potential girlfriend voting for the other party a deal breaker?

[/quote]

Maybe that’s you just answered this one for yourself. I’m surprised more people haven’t admitted this, BTW. If you would be tempted to not mail her ballot if given the opportunity, then maybe a politically mixed marriage isn’t for you. I guess you could pose this hypothetical situation to a prospective spouse and see how they would respond.

Like Beans, I don’t think having different politics is a deal breaker, IF neither of you are so rigid in your ideas that you can’t be respectful and see the other’s point of view.

If you like to talk politics a lot, and politics frequently lead to heated conversations that end in someone being called a “Commie” or a “Nazi” then it could make such a relationship a really bad idea. :wink:

[/quote]

Your question at its heart has nothing to do with politics.
At its base its more is your personal integrity and respect for your spouse greater than your personal tastes and desires. It could just as easily be about cheating on your spouse or many other issues.

Reverse the question to “If you knew your spouse cared so little about your personal beliefs that while you were absent they would totally disregard them would this be acceptable?” I’d think not.

[quote]groo wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]stefan128 wrote:
I didn’t read the story but if I had the chance I may not send in the absentee ballot. Here’s another great question that can arise from this situation. Is having a potential girlfriend voting for the other party a deal breaker?

[/quote]

Maybe that’s you just answered this one for yourself. I’m surprised more people haven’t admitted this, BTW. If you would be tempted to not mail her ballot if given the opportunity, then maybe a politically mixed marriage isn’t for you. I guess you could pose this hypothetical situation to a prospective spouse and see how they would respond.

Like Beans, I don’t think having different politics is a deal breaker, IF neither of you are so rigid in your ideas that you can’t be respectful and see the other’s point of view.

If you like to talk politics a lot, and politics frequently lead to heated conversations that end in someone being called a “Commie” or a “Nazi” then it could make such a relationship a really bad idea. :wink:

[/quote]

Your question at its heart has nothing to do with politics.
At its base its more is your personal integrity and respect for your spouse greater than your personal tastes and desires. It could just as easily be about cheating on your spouse or many other issues.

Reverse the question to “If you knew your spouse cared so little about your personal beliefs that while you were absent they would totally disregard them would this be acceptable?” I’d think not.

[/quote]
Exactly. And alongside the obvious respect issue of sending a form, it is also a question of embracing one anothers individuality as two parts of a whole where ideology doesn’t match up, another highly important aspect imo and broader than the political spectrum.