T Nation

Poison Envy


#1

No, it's not the Best of 80s collection. It's that what comes up when the weak and fearful see the man beside them making something of himself.

I know, there's a dozen or so of these threads, and as many articles, on the site.

But they ain't enough.

I'm starting a business, personal training, diet counseling, and boot camps. I've passed my business plan to some people in the industry I respect, locals who know business, and people that know marketing. Thumbs up across the board. There's enough experience and enough education on my resume to sell myself. I'm a good salesman, and a decent marketer. I am not going to fail; if I do, I won't know, because I'll be dead from exhaustion.

But, the good and kind people in my life have tried to show me the error of my ways. I have been "sat down" like a young child being told it's impossible to get to the sun at night. "You can't make a business work in this economy." "No one's paying for training." "It's just a stupid idea." All look at me with the knowing smile, what for the grunts and clicks coming from my mouth to cease, then explain again why I'm stuck in the shit hole, same as they.

It makes me sad. Some very intelligent people, hamstrung by the incessant attack of
mediocrity.

It's not like crabs that pull each other back into the bucket; it's worse. More base.

What makes so many people behave this way? Is it the need to keep the group together? Straight up sadism? Or are this many people really that weak?


#2

People really are that weak.


#3

In my dealings with "toxic" people, I find that they usually can be separated into three categories:

1.) Naturally negative: These types aren't malicious at all, in fact they may actually want to see you succeed, but they tend to view everything in a negative light. Some of them are genuinely concerned about you and don't want you to do something which may pose a risk of failure.

2.) "Crabs": Just like in your crab bucket analogy, these are the ones who aren't necessarily against you, but rather, against the idea that your success would propel you forward and keep them where they are, squirming around with the other crabs. Rampant insecurity.

3.) Assholes: These malicious fucks, for whatever reason, dislike you and want you to fail...or to never get the chance to succeed.

Anyway, you handle all three the same way. This is assuming that you are 100% satisfied with your plan. Acknowledge their "concerns", reflect on them (some concerns might actually be valid), and then keep going with your business plan.

It takes a really special person to actually feel GOOD when another person succeeds, unfortunately. Its so rare these days. 9 out of 10 times, when you hear someone saying "Oh, I'm so happy for ______ !" its either a bald-faced lie or there is at least some hidden element of resentment or jealousy.

Succeed, then make all your naysayers say "Oh, I'm so happy for you Vash!" as they seethe inside :slight_smile:


#4

Agreed, and most of them are miserable too, so when they see you doing something you truly enjoy or working to get something that makes you truly happy, they want to pull you down into their unhappiness.

It also makes them remember all the times they really wanted to do something life changing, but didn't have the balls to pull the trigger.