T Nation

'Please Don't Get Too Big'

Ughughugh it finally happened…

I was visiting my parents this weekend for their anniversary. I took a shower Sunday morning and on the way to my room my Mom walked by and saw me in my towel.

Later at lunch she says she needs to talk to me about something. Her tone and demeanor brought back memories of my parents finding my pot and empty bottles of Beam during high school. Then those dreaded words of ignorance came out of her mouth. She said that she didn’t want me to get any bigger because its not normal.

She goes on to tell me that my arms are big enough, my chest is big enough and that if I get any bigger my neck will be too thick and my head will look tiny from a distance. She tells me that if i get any bigger girls will think I look silly and I’ll never find a wife! HA!

I don’t even consider myself to be “big.” I weigh 215 and looking at me, it’s blatantly obvious that I work out. Alot. Recently I’ve noticed that unless I go out with my lifting buddies, I’m one of the most muscular people in whatever room I’m in. And no, I do not think I’m tough.

I think I still have a long way to go, and since I spend a considerable amount of time in the gym I’ve had plenty of exposure to guys that dwarf me in size in strength. I guess to a person who has never stepped foot into a gym, I look much bigger than the general public, so I somewhat understand where she was coming from,

So anyways she is telling me all of these things and I’m doing all I can to not laugh out loud. I just smile, nod, and say “ok, sure mom, anything you want.” My Dad starts cracking up laughing because he knows full well that I have no intention of reducing my exercise and nutrition regiment.

I was getting ready to tell her that I’m not big, that she has no concept of what big truly is, that muscular guys pull boatloads of tail and that being in great shape will actually help me pick out a better mate than the average man could, that this is my hobby and i love it, that being muscular and fit is an extremely healthy way to live and that I don’t give a flying fuck what she thinks about my size and that I will do what I please because I’m a grown man.

I decided all of these arguments would just make her head explode and that giving her the false sense of triumph would be an extra anniversary present.

So who else has had someone ask them “Please don’t get any bigger”? How did you handle it? I know that there must be others here that have had to deal with this situation too and would like to hear the silly arguments others made about “getting too big.”

My mom tells me this every time I go to visit.

My father is 200 at 6’3 and she thinks hes overweight.

its absurd. Bottom line, dont listen to your mother, shes your mom she isnt trying to fuck you.

When I told my sister that I wanted to get to around 200ish and then i’d reasses my goals, she replied

“So you’re gonna get fat? Like all the coaches (football coaches i’m assuming she’s referring to) are all fat.”

“Ummmm…no 200 isn’t even that heavy, and no i’ll lean out.”

“…so you’re gonna be fat” with some kinda ignorant giggle

shiet 200 at 5’7" isn’t even that massive, even by regular people’s standards it shouldn’t be. For an example you can just look up football runningbacks in college and the pros and find a good amount of them with similar height and weight characteristics. It just seems like when people say the amount of 200 pounds they imagine someone who is overweight, which is sad and says a lot about the state of our people’s dietary habits when that is the first picture that comes to mind.

Yea I can relate. When I was approaching 200 my mum kept saying ‘you don’t want to get too big…’. Ha…if she only knew. She doesn’t say anything anymore.

I’m about 235 now and still feel fairly small, although like you said, when your in public you realise your bigger then most people - minus the fat women. Some of those bitches have 25 inch arms.

Other then my family, nobody says ‘your getting to big’ or ‘how big do you want to get?’ Its usually compliments since I was such a skinny ass. I usually just change the topic when they bring it up since they don’t want to know the answer. “Mum, I want to be FUCKING HYOOOOOGEEEEE!”

I think it’s exactly as you said. People who don’t work out keep telling me I’m big… And I’m only about 185 lbs! I think the deal is, you seem small to yourself because your point of reference is people who weightlift. THEIR point of reference is the average person. Hence the confusion.

How bout this.

Ive leaned up a little bit since I moved out from living with the parents, walking around a college campus and paying your own food bill will do that I guess.

Well my mom, sister, and dad all told me that i should add some more mass, because at 5"10 and 185 i look too small, they all think i should be up above 205 to look good on my frame.

So i asked them to write me a check for more groceries when I left to drive home, and they were all for it.

Guess Im just lucky.

LOL when cutting I remember a discussion with my parents at about the time my leanest pics were taken(in profile) mum and dad both pleaded with me that I had lost enough weight and I’d end up with an eating disorder. Now my parents tell me I’m big enough but I think they’ve given up on that argument.

Just tell 'em that you won’t get too big. They don’t need to know that, from our point of view, getting too big is impossible.

[quote]Enjoy The Pain wrote:
Just tell 'em that you won’t get too big. They don’t need to know that, from our point of view, getting too big is impossible.[/quote]

Well played, good sir.

Been there.

Kinda upset me too because my mom is one of the very few people whose opinion truly matters to me.

In the big scheme of things, you just gotta do what you want to do, and say fuck what everybody else thinks. Sometimes this includes even your mom.

I still dont consider myself big at all however my girl freind said that the other day:
“I don’t want you to get any bigger!, or you’ll be like “arrugg!!(stupid gorilla pose) I’m all tough” like a bouncer.”
I just smilled hahaha.

She will get used to it :smiley: she used to think orlando bloome was hot, she told me a while ago that now when she looks at him she cant help noticing how small his arms are lol she says she could never be with a skinny guy now. Plus she took a video of me doing biceps curls yesturday at the gym cause she couldnt believe how big my arms looked lol she liked it.

My mum said I’m getting fat the other day, that got to me a bit because I’m bad enough at trying to keep my abbs while bulking without my mum making me feel self concious about having slightly higher bodyfat.
wont stop me though, I’ve set my goals for this year and the scale is only going to go up!

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After hearing mom tell you that, you should’ve ate everyone else’s food at lunch, take a long drink from your gallon of water, and smash the table in half. How dare someone question your alpha status.

I wish I had that problem, but I’m working on it.

[quote]Doug Adams wrote:
After hearing mom tell you that, you should’ve ate everyone else’s food at lunch, take a long drink from your gallon of water, and smash the table in half. How dare someone question your alpha status.[/quote]

That’s what I was thinking. It would have been much better if you broke down crying afterwards, complaining about how the creatines are starting to get to you and you feel there’s no turning back.

.

I hear something along the lines of that maybe once every couple of weeks, or a month from my wife. “You don’t need to get any bigger. You just need to tone.”

I hear a little bit from my parents, who most likely think I’m extremely overweight. I do weight 250 at 20-35% bf, so they do have a small point.

Join the club!

About 3yrs ago my mother accused me of taking steriods when I came home for a weekend and brought my supplements with me (whey, fish oil and Animal pak). I was 185lbs lol. But back then I was just growing out of my size medium shirts…so I “looked” bigger.

Now that I’m over 200 and bring a cooler of my food home with me whenever i go visit; I make sure to wear my XL shirts and not talk about stuff like that. She just doesn’t get it.

But having a father who is 6-3 and 260 makes my weight “issue” not as terrible.

[quote]B rocK wrote:
Join the club!

About 3yrs ago my mother accused me of taking steriods… [/quote]

Uh, yeah, my mother’s done the same thing. And I’m smaller (well, in terms of circumference) than either of my chubby sisters.

:slight_smile:

I think it’s what mothers do.

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
B rocK wrote:
Join the club!

About 3yrs ago my mother accused me of taking steriods…

Uh, yeah, my mother’s done the same thing. And I’m smaller (well, in terms of circumference) than either of my chubby sisters.

:slight_smile:

I think it’s what mothers do.[/quote]

Like the new pic :wink: