Just got home from a bar at the local college, that is always packed. Theres this asshole that works there, slightly big and tall, prob around 190lbs. One night this past week I saw him there walking through the crowd and pushing people out of his way, It was noticable how he just moved them and was a complete dick. Well 2nite I saw him again and at one point he was getting by me, behind me. He said “MOVE!!” and I kinda moved away but my back was still to him. He gave me a pretty good push out of the way. I turned around and as he walked away he stared me down. I didnt do anything and then looked away, I was soooooo pissed. My problem is I get nervous and dont take action, and I’ve never really fought before. I get intimidated easily and I dont know what to do. Anyone know how I can learn to be a good fighter, do those courses in Ironman magazine work at making someone a good fighter? What would you have done?

My friend with me told me that the guy did the same thing to his friend the other night, who was a pretty big guy. The asshole, after pushing him out of the way said, “did you say something?” So he’s obviously a dick to everyone and out to start. By his attitude I think maybe he’s a really good fighter or has connections, etc. B/c he really is cocky, but then I think people that act like this are just assholes and wouldnt be a prick if they really were badass. Any suggestions for learning to fight or if you think this kid just needs an ass kicking or should I watch out?? If I did fight him my social life would be affected since he works at the one bar and I wouldnt be able to go there, a very popular place where I live.

Everywhere you go, there will always be ass-holes like that guy. Don’t give him the time of day, pretend like he’s not even there. It’s not worth getting into a fight with this moron; you might get your butt kicked or you might end up kicking his butt, not sure. Start learning how to defend yourself. Take up boxing. Boxers kick ass.

Boxers are tough, but the majority of fights goes to the ground. I wrestled through middle school, high school, and college. I would rather fight a really good boxer over a really good wrestler any day. Check out the ultimate fighting championship matches. The fights always go to the ground and the graplers always end up winning. There are several types of grapling besides wrestling though. Judo is a great martial art aswell that incorporates ground fighting. The Gracie brothers have schools all over the place and I think a ground fighting magazine is out.
In closing ground fighting rules, but I would get proficient at strikes also. A punching bag or dummy would help a lot. The main thing is to avoid fights. So what if someone is rude. Screw him he’s a jerk. Let it go. I had a friend who was a very good kick boxer. He got into a verbal dispute because someone cut him off. He got into a fight over it and beat the guy up. As he walked away the pussy shot him in the back and killed him. Was it worth it? Think of that the next time someone acts rude. Is it really worth it? Peace bro.

Never fight an employee of a bar. YOU WILL NEVER WIN. After 8 other employees kick youe ass you will be arrested. I owned/managed a few college bars.

If you really want to do something about this guy, spend some time during the day to talk to the owner/manager, or write a letter.

Don’t mention the guy is an asshole, but a risk. The bar is responsible for his actions. They lose money evertime they file an insurance claim. Talk risk managment not personality conflict. Maybe thay guy needs to be somewhere above the crowd intimidating without really interacting, or maybe he need to find a new place to work.

First off, this guy sounds like your typical immature, “juiced-up” asshole. I’m not saying all steroid user are assholes but some guys just are, they don’t have the emotional maturity to handle the effects juice can have on their psyche. Secondly, the only way to become a good fighter is to fight, that’s it. Those programs sold in Ironman and other mags are not the way to go. They teach technique and nothing more. Becoming a good fighter takes time and dedication, just like becoming good at anything else. These days many people train in traditional martial arts (karate, tae-kwon-do, kung-fu, etc…) as well as western style grappling and boxing. This guy you’re describing may train in one or many of these styles and if you challenge him he may hand you your head on a platter. My suggestion would be to train in a striking art (boxing is an excellent choice) and a grappling art (jiu-jitsu is my personal favorite) and devote yourself to them. The one question you need to ask yourself is why this situation preoccupies (spelling?) you so much. Some people just aren’t fighters, plain and simple. The male ego is sometimes just as fragile as it is strong and being able to kick ass has nothing to do with being a man. This guy will get what’s coming to him, trust me. I bounced for years and saw many guys like this (some of them I worked with and I even have some friends that acted like this) and I guarantee you he’ll push the wrong guy one day. Trust me, assholes like that pay in the end and really aren’t even worth it.

carry mace / pepper spray if its legal in your state

Next time he “shoves” you, make shure YOU lose your balance and go crumbling down to the ground in such a way that one might think you had been injured and if there are witnesses, file a police report.

I love being bigger than 190lbs weaklings. I may not be able to fight a lick but I can intimidate the hell out of lots of people. And quite honestly guys as big as me or bigger tend to be less agressive knowing they don’t have to worry as much, rightly so or wrong.

I have got two answers to your post. The most Important thing is you did the right thing. This guy is an asshole and you showed him that you were the better man by not engaging him in reaction to his behavior. I know these things are hard to swallow, but I had to learn this the hard way.
I´m a pretty big guy myself. 6’8" 250 lbs. and not easily scared by anyone. I had a similar experience with a guy who was built, but tiny in comparison to myself. I did engage him and got my ass seriously kicked for the first time in my life. The guy was a free-fighter from the fearsome Chakuriki-clan. This Dutch dojo has brought forth world champion fighters in several styles, which brings me to the second answer.
If you want to learn martial arts to protect you and yours, a combination of muay-thai kickboxing and jiu-jitsu is the way to go. Kickboxing is the best kicking and punching style and jiu-jitsu the best grappling. In a real fight you will need both.
However, without realizing it you have proved you possess far more powerful characteristics than that guy: intelligence, self-composure and morals. Fighting ability pails in comparison and can only be used effectively by a person who has a character like yourself. If you chose to learn to fight, you will also learn it´s better not to fight at all. That guy will only be respected by other dicks, while guys like you will earn the respect of the people who do matter.

I strongly suggest that everyone on this post read a book called “A Bouncer’s Guide to Barroom Brawling”. Its available at Paladin Press.com or you can sometimes see it advertised in the back of various martial art magazines. This book will help you to understand the reality of “real violence” as opposed to what’s taught in most martial art schools. BTW flex69 don’t worry about that prick. Sooner or later he will meet someone who’s going to clean his clock and the fun part is you don’t have to get your hands dirty.

Don’t concern yourself w/ such minor trivialties…you’ll end up like hetyey242523 or whatever his name is…

I would give you some advice about fighting, but I know nothing about it. However, I would suggest that you make freinds with this guy. You just assume he is an asshole, maybe he thinks the same about you? Maybe he is just a jerk, but it might not hurt to try to get to know him. If you try, and he is still an idiot, then follow the advice of other people who have answered you. :slight_smile:

At the school where I train jiu-jitsu there is a guy who is a blue belt who recently got the snot kicked out of him in a real fight. Why did he lose? Fear.
This guy knows how to fight. If you fight him on the mat he’s damn good for a blue belt, but out on the street and his skills are lost.
Get Tony Blauer’s Fear Management audio cassettes. There are the best product I have found to enable anyone to defend themselves better.
In the mean time, stay out of that guy’s way.

HEy Steve F. What happened to hetyey25 just curious?

the last time i said something to an asshole like that i almost got shot. keep your mouth shut and walk away. Its not worth taking a damn bullet.

The person you described will run into someone sooner or later who will put him in his place. You do not need to sweat not pursuing a fight. If you want to learn to fight, you should enroll in a discipline that teaches the use of the fist and then one that teaches grappling. Karate, Tae Kwon Do, or boxing would be good for the first; wrestling or judo
would be good for the second. Of course,jujitsu may be an all around bet.
Beleive me, it is not your obligation to place the bully in his place. You should be prepared to defend yourself though.

I live in asia where fights are not that common. The best way to get out of a fight is not to start it. If you lift weights religiously, sometimes you can get your point across without fighting. If you really need to fight and if you think that guy is just some punk ass with little fighting ability, just jab him on the face. I don’t know of much people who can still get up and fight like crazy after he gets a full force punch straight in the face. Of course you gotta be quick if not he can block it and whip your ass. Also learn about the best places to strike when fighting. Most vital points are around the head…and the groin.

Hey, I’m normally at meso, but I happened to catch this thread. Listen, I boxed in my highschool for 4 years straight and now in college I box Monday nights at my local night club for extra money. There are two critical things in a fight. Get the first punch, and get the last punch. Practice your left jabs and learn to combine them with strong straight rights to the temple. Properly executed its a beautiful thing, you can literally see the confidence drain out of your opponents eyes…and in any fight, it all boils down to planting that seed of doubt in your opponent. Once he knows he can be beat, you’ve one. Oh, and by the way, when you drop the fucker like a bad habit, get the fuck out. :slight_smile:


MLF is right, NEVER fight a bar employee unless you like going to the hospital and/or being arrested. The guy is just an insecure bully and he behaves the way he does because he has back up from the other bouncers, while you may have a couple drunk friends.

Also, consider what you have to lose if you accidently cripple this guy. A judge will most likely give time to someone that causes a serious injury in the course of a battery. Likewise, once you have a good job and are “established” the likelihood of a lawsuit looms over your head. Also, like people have said, you can only push people around for so long before someone with nothing to lose does a real number on you, tire iron in the parking lot kind of number. So, if you want to learn a martial art I would encourage it but just don’t waste your life on one inconsequential bully.

Just an observation-big, loud, obnoxious assholes are not the guys to watch out for. Most people cower because of their size, and they don’t get experience in real world fighting. The guys to keep an eye on are the more compact, experienced fighters. They’re usually quiet, unassuming, and can be downright lethal in an instant. Take a look at Army Rangers, Navy Seals, British SAS, of the German GSG-9 specwar guys. In street clothes, they look like nothing next to a bodybuilder, but they have developed a killer instinct and honed their hand to hand skills. Oh, and the comments about not starting shit with bar employees is dead on. You will probably get stomped by three or more bouncers and get 86’d. Not that you’d want to return anyway…