T Nation

Piece of shit neighbors


I have been crashing on my future roomate's couhc, cuz the place I was subleasing had the electricity shut off (in gainesville florida in the middle of summer, not fun). This kid lives the the el cheapo apartments in a shitty part of town. So, I have had the opportunity over the past few days, walking to and from my car and the laundry facility to watch the neighbor's interact. One day, I saw a dad nearly drowning a kid in the pool for fun. he would hold the kid (by his neck)under water for almost a minute, pull him up for a second and as he was breathing in, dump him back under.
Then there was the kid in speedos and hiking boots playing basketball yesterday. not pretty.
There was the crack head who came to the door holding up two cassettes, one was sublime's old record, and another was a bone thugs and harmony tape and he was saying that he needed gas. Sorry guy, I dont sell gas here. and if I did, I wouldnt work on the barter system.
I think I even saw someone giving birth out on the lawn.
But this morning. took the fucking cake. Came out to my car to find it had been rifled through. Glove box open , shit strewn about. Good thing I left my car a shithole over the past couple day, or they might have taken my MP3 player. but I have no idea if they found anything or took anything. that is the shitty part. about having shitty nieghbor's.
You know in south africa, they have these devices that are like huge scissors under the cars to prevent car jackers. Someone comes up holds a gun in your face, you push a button, and it slices his legs off. Sometimes I wish we could do some draconian stuff like that here. Like is Robocop, where they had the anti car theft device that electrocuted the guy who broke into the car.
I guess I am trying to say that its a shitty feeling to have your car broken in to.


The other day, I had one of my neighbors park in front of my driveway and block my car in. I told him I wasn't going to call the cops this time, but if he did it again, I'd have him towed. He threatened to kick MY ass!!! "I'll fuck you up," was the exact quote.

I suspect this is the same guy who backed into my car a few months ago, and did $1,600 worth of damage, and drove off, with me chasing him on foot. One of my shoes came off, so I couldn't run very fast. He saw me chasing him, and sped off. (I couldn't get his plate that time.) Nice guy, eh?


I agree jodgey on the breaking into car crap.
Although we dont have such a carjacker issue here as in SA, and of course we can't hurt the attackers now can we? Well it seems that way, it's only in euroland where the attackers really have rights for some reason (assuming it's a property crime).

I've had my car rifled through before, although I could tell it was young punk kids because they only took the cheap sunglasses and my tape case (cassettes back from the old days). Sunglasses were all of $2, no idea why they took them. Anyway, I would have loved to catch them in the act. Nothing better than making some punk piss his pants because he just got caught red handed.
A while ago one of my parent's neighbors got to do just that. Some local kids were on a radar detector search through the neighborhood, and they were ballsy enough to go into garages and into the cars in them. Well, my neighbor was a big fellow and heard the kids talking through his open window. So he went downstairs, grabbed a bat, and then slowly opened his door into the garage.
Kids were inside of his conversion van, so he pushed garage door opener button, and said he could literally see them wetting themselves since they had no chance to escape.. lolol
Gotta realize these aren't hardened criminals, more of upper middle class white boys who thought they could make a quick buck by being "cool" and stealing. Didn't go over well for them at all, they had to pay restitution to many homeowners. Also got booted from all sports teams in school, had to pick up trash on roadsides, and if they didn't follow through were going to have this stuff show on actual adult record instead of juve.


My neighbours let their dog use our yard as it personal toilet, and I live in a nice area. I hope they move.
I really need to get a fence! Sucks because they won't pay for their portion, so I gotta pay for that side even though htey get a fence out of it.


fling the poo at their house. I know, its a low class move, but man that would be fun.


My neighbors almost break my roof having sex (I suspect she's on top), and make for quite the entertainment show for when Guests are present.

Try to top that.


My posts sound like a 12 year olds today. Who took my friggin IQ points



Hey Z-man -- just throw it back!


I would throw it back zman.

First time I find it I ask them to please clean it up. Find it a second time, it's ending up in their yard.

Find it some more and I start putting it in better places, like middle of their driveway, front step of house with a letter, things of that nature.

As you can tell I had a neighbor who didn't clean up after his dog so I had to resort to showing him why he needed to.

Honestly he acted like he never noticed it when driving over it, but then he really noticed it when it was smelling up his garage from being all over his tire. I don't think he made the connection then though, but he finally did when he found it on front step with a note saying "thanks".

Glad he moved finally. He was just a lazy arse. Left his lawn all full of weeds, making mine hard as hell to keep clean.


Let me preface this by saying that nothing works with idiots.

However, after a sustained crime wave (burglaries, car break-ins, etc.) swept my neighborhood last year a friend and I came home one night in the pouring rain to a strange car parked in the driveway. (We have a long driveway that goes off to the side of the house.)

I thought burglars might be inside, I ran in and yelled to my wife and flipped on the floodlights. The car started up as I ran outside. My friend blocked the driveway with his car. The strange car skidded to a halt and three men popped out storming at us. About this time I stepped into the headlights and racked the slide on my Glock. (You din't think I went inside just to flip the lights on did ya?)

The sight and sound of a 9mm Federal Hydroshock being chambered along with a hearty "Get the FUCK back in your car!" turned them right around.

I was so jacked on adrenaline at that point I couldn't even think. Instead of getting their license plate and calling the cops I told them that if I ever saw them or their car again they would all leave in bodybags.

Apparently they believed me as there hasn't been a single problem in the neighborhood since.

Bring it. I'm always ready.


I may end up in the same situation. They don't have grass or even topsoil yet. They've only been there for a year though, so it may take some time.


This is sort of in the same vein: One of my powerlifting buddies at my gym got cut off last week while driving. He proceded to honk and flick the guy off. Then the guy who cut him off decided to ram his car into my friend's car. Then the guy got out, pulled out a billy club of some sort and beat the hell out of my buddy's car. INSANE....


Don't get me started about neighbors.

RIGHT next door (we live in a duplex/townhouse), we have a bitch fo a neighbor. She's a single mom who believes in the "it takes a village" to raise her child; whom we have nicknamed "heathen" or "satan's spawn". Sooo, the mother's interpretation of "it takes a village" is that she does NOTHING as a mother herself (meaning: no discipline). And this attitude goes toward the two animals they claim as pets: a "dwarf" cat (which is a dwarf since they didn't feed it when it was a kitten - yes, all of their neighbors, i.e. US fed it when we could), and a "yap, yap" RAT dog that barks incessently. And her response to it's constant barking? A "shhhhh" - yeah, that's just great.

She also allows her child/satan's spawn to stomp up and down the stairs, slam doors, and sit in the middle of the courtyard, screaming bloody murder if she doesn't get her way. I abhor this child. I abhor the mother.

And then there's the white trash behind us. The ones where we have to call the cops on at least once a month. Due to them having a tendency to sit in their backyard and howl at the moon and sing along with the bad folk music they blast on their speakers. And they do this on a Wednesday at one in the freakin' morning. I won't even begin about the incident after Super Bowl with these idiots in search of brain.

It's gotten better as I've become more vocal and have complained. I'm just tired of allowing all this anger to fester. FESTER. AND FESTER. Dammit. I hate my neighbors.


oh, begin about the super bowl incident. sounds fun.



that is the coolest fucking story i have ever heard.

although i must say i think the sound of me cocking back my winchester defender would be a little more intimidating.


yeah Patricia tell us tell us!!!!


ok first of all to the breaking in of cars, i know about this way to well. i've had my car broken into like 4 or 5 different times. even though i complain about, yeah i know i should of had an alarm but still i worked hard for all that they stole. another thing take my subs, take my stereo, speakers, but DON'T dake my damn cd's. thats what pissed me off the most. the sad thing is they weren't just punk kids but i think a few times, it was my so called friends but i can't prove it. ok enough ranting about that. to the crapping all over your lawn. do what everyone else is saying first tell them to quit having there dog do that and then just put it in there lawn. of cource my old neighbors had the ordasity to then complain that it was my dogs that did it in there lawn. LOL i mean come on now i had losso oppso's and they had a big a$$ sheep dog. this wasn't no tiny shit it was big. what do they take me for an idiot. ok sorry for the visual. or another thing that we had with another neighbor was when we had this kind of tree that was furry. i don't remember what they are called but anyway they grow like weeds. they complain that its growing on there side messing up there back yard but when i took a deeper look i saw that the root started in there freakin lawn. man you just got to love some neighbors. but there's also good ones out there too you just got to find them.
sorry for the long post everybody.
p.s. i second what jodgey said. you should inlighten us with that story.


Another vote for Patricia to spill about the Super Bowl thing. Come on! You can't just leave us hanging like that!


More peer pressure for the story, spill it Patricia...


Another vote for the Superbowl story!

Meanwhile, does anyone have any good recipies for cat? They're a good source of lean protein, right?

We've got one lady down our street that likes to breed 'em and let 'em run. Over a dozen. She doesn't feed them. Her next door neigbor traps them and sends them to the humane society (where they typically end up dead).

So anyway, I'm on a lean mass cycle and I figure it could help cut the grocery bill if I could get a couple decent recipies. I'd prefer recipies for the grill.

Thanks all. :wink: