T Nation

Pick Up/Pulling Advice & Tips for 16 Y/O M


Hey guys,

First of all, let me say I have got top class advice for exercise, muscle gain and so on from you people on the forums. Thank you.

I’m 16, 5’9’ and 60kg. Short blond hair, blue eyes, square/handsome face (may add a pic). Not ripped, though working on it and currently ‘fit.’

To put it bluntly, I have had zero success with girls at my high school. On holiday, outside of that environment and my home environment, I can go up to girls, talk to them (to varying degrees of success, want to be more consistent with getting numbers and building attraction, which I know will come with practice) and get contact details etc. quite easily. Just today I went home with about 4 social media names to add from a modelling shoot I did (yes I do that too, which makes my lack of success all the more frustrating). I am beginning to recognise the signs of attraction, just beginning too, but I have a long way to go. I can muster up the courage to go up to a girl, but my problems start there. Sometimes my conversation game flows smoothly. Other times it is hard and I struggle for things to say. I’ve read up on kino, touching etc. but again I have to put it into practice. I think I have a confident walk down: shoulders back, chest out a little, swinging arms, head tilt and so on, been practising that a lot. My problem is getting from the “Hey, I’m Kieren. How about you?” to making out with them, moving past that, getting consistent numbers and closing.

Simply put, I do not know what to do when I need to do it. I know I have it in me. I know I have the potential to pull the best looking, fittest girls at a party, club and so on, but my game is not good enough yet to manifest that self-belief. This effects more or less every area: texting/messaging, flirting, closing, you get the deal. I do not know how to get them chasing me, going after me and wanting me. I’ve recently came out of a bad spot in life, and I am more confident, outgoing and determined that I have been in a long time. It is not that I cannot get with girls full stop, on holiday I was able to in a matter of days with a beautiful Spanish girl my age (15 at the time). It gets me down having so little success and some of my mates having girls message them, be interested in them, and send them flirty messages/pictures. I’m not letting it effect me to any large extent, but I want to be living that life which I know is possible.

I was real shy, introverted and studious when I was younger. I’m a world away from that now. Matured, grown up, adventurous, different and wanting to experience the things I never had a chance to do to any meaningful extent. Almost all the time I can rarely build the attraction to get a girl getting flirty with me, displaying those signals and so forth. I really do not know how to flirt. I can give compliments, and can be quite witty at times, but putting everything together is a challenge. I’m reading a lot of the threads on here, thank you all by the way for your help and for those writing those articles, thanks a million. I am willing to listen, learn and change my ways and how I view the world. I’m already changing it, and it can go as far as I want it to go.

Thanks fellas, and say anything you feel you need to. Any questions, go ahead.

Hello and Introduction. Tips/Help for 16 Y/O

You sound like an entitled little prick, honestly.

So you model? Who gives a shit, how does that help anyone else but you? What else can you do? You work out? So the fuck what. Again, that doesn’t help anyone else but you. You’re reading books to pick up girls? Great, so what happens when they get to know you and those tricks run out?

Why do you think you’re witty? To whom are you witty? I’ll be honest, your post is dull and reeks of desperation. That shit isn’t witty. Different people have different senses of humor and sensibilities independent of their looks or what you think they should be. Granted you and those of your age are not fully formed human beings yet (mentally) but you come off very disingenuous.

Point is, work on developing yourself and your personality. Focus on working with and helping other people. Do things that interest you other than the superficial stuff you listed. Become an interesting person, someone worthy of attention not someone demanding and commandeering attention. This shit takes time; don’t expect immediate results.


Negs helped me until I could do a full one.


Well, thanks for the last part that was helpful. The rest was unnecessary bulls*hit. I’m up for someone being honest, but that was brutal. I used to be desperate, but I’m gaining confidence and self-belief every day now. Looking for advice that will help me apply that new found power in a beneficial way. I do help other people dude: every year I collect a hundred cans of food and give it to a homeless shelter as part of a local youth group initiative. I’m going to work in a charity shop for 6 months as part of my Bronze DofE, going to do the John Muir Award which entails cleaning up your local community and creating homes for nature. I love helping people. So don’t call me superficial. Also I’m not disingenuous. I try help my friends and other if they need it. I have plenty of hobbies like running and horse riding, guitar too.

If my post is indeed dull, tell me of how to lighten it up. I was trying to give you people a good picture of myself and how you could help me. I must have been to some extent misinterpreted. Please spare the insults for someone else. You read my other posts and you will notice I’m polite and thank people for their time. Doing that with you too, even though you may not entirely deserve it.

Look, let’s not get into an internet arguments and become keyboard warriors. The last bit of advice was genuinely useful, and I appreciate it. Also Diddy, thank you as well. Did a search for negs and I get the idea I think. Appreciate it :slight_smile: .


Lol, who says this…?

You’re 16…


Orion. And SexMachine. Both of whom have a track record of building successful, healthy, lasting, and meaningful relationships. :neutral_face:

Kid, the best thing you can do is forget you ever heard terms like neg, kino, “building investment from texts”, “closing”, and any of that pick-up artist crap. You like some girls, some girls don’t like you, you don’t always have the right words when it comes to talking to girls. That’s the life of a 16-year old dude and every guy here went through it. It’ll sort itself out as you go through life. Trying to hack the system doesn’t work.

Keep your hobbies and good deeds and whatnot, get training, and you’ll end up where you want before you know it.


I agree with Polo77j 100%.

Don’t come to a site where men post and get butt-hurt when you get spoken to like a man. Clean the sand out of your vagina and take the advice in the helpful spirit in which it was given.

My identity as a man is built on what I actually do with my time and the achievements that come from it. Like Polo said, that takes time, and talk is just talk. I’m 35, fat, haven’t cut my hair in over a year or shaven in months. I’m not out there pulling 10’s, but I have no problems getting dates and I get attention from attractive women without even trying. Case-in-point, I was donating blood yesterday after work. My feet stunk, I stunk, I look like a hobo and I was still getting conspicuously felt up by the cute 20-something gal drawing the blood from me.

To paraphrase a Tom Hardy quote shared by Jim Wendler the other day, “Great men do not stand on mountains waving a flag and shouting ‘I am a great man’.”

Fill your life up with interesting and positive things that help other people AND yourself and I can guarantee you plenty of women will recognize that and be attracted to you.


[quote=“kierensaddlr, post:4, topic:214738, full:true”]Did a search for negs and I get the idea I think. Appreciate it :slight_smile: .

I was joking about negs. I originally read the title as you looking for pull-up advice, for which negatives really are helpful, ha.

Just get some social hobbies and let your raging hormones do their work.


Actually I like your self confidence. I would like to give you advice but the age gap and cultural difference between us is too big. Good luck, kid.


Learn how to accept that not everybody is going to like you. Women don’t just thro2 their legs open upon hearing some magic words.


And you can probably partake in some tent-bound fumblings on your DofE exhibition.


I did warn you that this thread might lead to a little ball busting…


But seriously, you don’t actually practise your walk, do you?


Not much haha. I do from time to time for my modelling, aside from that I just let my confidence try show itself through my walk and body language. Seems to be working.

On a side note, I’m a slight bit confused as to how to reply to multiple people in the same post/reply. Don’t entirely understand the instructions the site gives. Any help?


Look, you come off like you’re focusing on the wrong shit. Yes you are superficial. You made it a point to highlight these specific aspects of yourself in your OP (modeling, lifting, pulling hot girls, deserving hot girls, etc.) - it’s superficial and desperate. Inherently. Accept it or not, I don’t care.

You’re 16, apparently you think you’re good looking and some other people (?) do too (based on modeling FWIW). If a girl cares about that, then that shit won’t be long term and it’ll probably end badly (she’ll most likely be focused on the wrong shit as well).

Learn a valuable skill - learn to cook. Learn to grow your own food. Learn something that you can do without electricity. Learn a string instrument. Do something that adds value to a stranger’s life. Cool, collecting cans for your cause is fine but, ultimately, not so much. It doesn’t take long and they’re probably your mom’s cans. Do things for other people, not for you, for them. You help your friends? Cool, who doesn’t? Connect with people on a personal, genuine level. Notice I didn’t say this will help you pick up chicks? because who cares. The people here you should listen to are the ones who are telling you to focus on other shit because picking up girls is secondary to developing yourself as a compassionate, well rounded, emotionally intelligent young man (and girls happen to be a great by-product of such).

And that negging bullshit will work, but mostly on bat-shit crazy chicks with low self esteem and an even lower IQ. If that’s what you’re looking for, than disregard anything I’ve said, have fun.

PS - It’s the internet - Take EVERYTHING with a grain of salt and learn to read between the lines.


No matter how many times you might get turned down, just keep trying. Keep in mind that girls your age are nervous too.

I remember the first girl I really liked when I was 16, I asked her out to a movie and she said no. I saw her at my high school reunion, she was divorced twice with 4 kids, and looked like she had eaten her former self. In other words, I wouldn’t let her wash my schweddy balls after a leg workout.

Enjoy the ride young man.


Haha as Charlie Sheen would say. Winning.

OP, confidence is everything, but you can’t fake it. As polo said, confidence will come when you enjoy and are passionate about what you do, build solid character, and go about things with a purpose.

Learn from your mistakes and move on, nothing related to girls at that age will matter in the long run.


Anyone else feel like this thread would be a thousand times better if OP just bluntly wrote, “Hey guys. I want to get laid. How?”, which is still obnoxious but at least it’s not pretentious.


The reason why women don’t like you is because you are a narcissist. You also sound a little autistic.


Thanks again everyone for your advice/feedback, appreciate it all - even if some of it has some flak attached to it. Hell, that’s alright. You all are more experienced than me, so I’m glad I’ve been able to hear what you have to say. My apologies if I came across wrong - my intentions were to create an illustration of myself accurately to allow you folks to give me more specific advice, but how specific does it need to be really? You guys are totally right. The part about “deserving it” is because I never used to believe I could or would or did indeed deserve it. Trying to change my mindset into something more positive and forward-looking. Those who are giving tough feedback, I appreciate your bluntness and honesty. A life coach whom I have been talking to has been saying a lot of the same things, such as work on myself and improving the lives of others and so on. Proves the truth in what you guys are telling me. Cheers,