T Nation

Phone Calls Are Not My Thing

I’m such a pussy when it comes to making phone calls. Even to friends at times. Calling people is just not my thing, and I’m a big people person when it comes to face to face confrontations, but phone calls I just have so much troube with, especially when it comes to calling women I like and that like me. Texting sucks and is a cowards way of speaking so I prefer calling. Any advices, or does anyone experience the same shit?

Thanks

The best way to get better at it and not care anymore is just to do it more. It sucks, but that’s the way life goes, sometimes.

Watch Boiler Room?

Suck it up and get used to it. I used to be the same way. The more calls you make the easier it is.

Write out talking points ahead of time.

I still hate voice mail and texting, but that’s the way a lot of people communicate now, so you gotta get used to it.

I always sound angry on the phone or grumpy. When I call people they always ask whats wrong or if I had a bad day or something, which usually does make me angry.

I know exactly what you mean!

My own problem with phone calls is that I use body language a lot when I’m speaking so I’m always quite aware that the other person can’t see me and understand the inflection I put on my words through my hands and face.

I’ve had jokes with gf’s go badly wrong because it just didn’t sound right on the phone. Face to face with the same jokes and they were laughing.

Weird shit.

I think the biggest hurdle I used to have with phone calls was knowing when was a good time to call. So called ‘cold’ calling, where you just say “oh, I haven’t talked to X in forever, dialing” is generally a bad idea.

If there are no points of business to discuss, the phone call will become excessively difficult to maintain, even with a girl, if you have nothing important to talk about, you’ll just end up blathering on about a bunch of nonsense(or enduring awkward silence).

I think talking on the phone for over a half an hour is almost always a waste of time, unless there just so happens to be a lot of business to discuss, but even then, I prefer to just plan a meeting in person, or split the conversation into two different conversations.

Writing out some bulleted notes before making a call is a very smart thing to do, also having that same paper to take notes on can’t hurt.

Other than that, practice makes perfect. I’m a firm believer in not saying anything over the phone I wouldn’t say to that person face to face. likewise, don’t say something over email or text that you wouldn’t say over the phone.

I think a lot of times someone who thinks they are great face-to-face but can’t seem to translate that communicative energy to any other medium, is not really as good in person as they think they are.

[quote]Malevolence wrote:
I think a lot of times someone who thinks they are great face-to-face but can’t seem to translate that communicative energy to any other medium, is not really as good in person as they think they are.[/quote]

LMAO - posted just as I posted my excuses!

[quote]Malevolence wrote:

I think a lot of times someone who thinks they are great face-to-face but can’t seem to translate that communicative energy to any other medium, is not really as good in person as they think they are.[/quote]

It’s not really that, I just feel intrusive. I’m nervous I’m calling at a bad time or shit like that. I have to call someone important tonight. I will with no hesitation as i just realized I need to use the “sack” God gave me and do the right thing.

Yeah I feel you on that one. I will normally let it ring like crazy when I am home alone. Drives the wife crazy that I don’t answer the phone

I’m with you on this. I despise talking on the phone and I refuse to text anyone. I prefer email for when I don’t have much to say, otherwise I want to talk in person.

phones sucks because you can’t tell when someone is done talking and vice versa so you both speak and yeah, lol.

texting FTW

I’d rather text all day than talk on the phone.

I used hate calling people because you can’t use body language, but after having to do a few job interviews over the phone I am completely over it.

Same thing happened with public speaking and arachnophobia.

The more you do it, the less nervous you get. After a while you just do it without even thinking about it.

How do you do the “Just saying Hi” phone call, and how do you get off the phone. I would like to limit my calls to 5 maybe 10 minutes, but when I say I have to go people act like I’m brushing them off.

I have the exact same problem, although not with chicks as I am married. I HATE talking on the phone. No advice, but you are not alone.

I dislike the telephone as well. Having a real conversation requires people to actually be with eachother, so the phone is only to be used to relay important pieces of information involving aforementioned meetings.

As far as when is a good time to call: If the person wants to hear from you, any time is a good time. Phone calls only get awkward because you don’t know the other person well. When was the last time you rang one of your mates and it got awkward? It doesn’t happen.

Also, speakerphone is great for making a convo seem more natural. Especially if you’re doing other shit while you talk. (Read: masturbating)

My g/f is deaf, an she uses a VP (Video Phone) I do not have one so we use an interpeter.(Though I am learning sign language to bette rcomunicated w/ her) The interpeter says whatever she signs an I say something an the interpeter tells/signs to her what I say.
Talk about some odd conversations soemtimes if a male interpetor comes on the line.
I remember the 1st time we had a male interpeter an she was telling me:

“Bye, Good night & I love you”

I just about died laughing to hear this guy tell me this.Thye are professionals an are not suppsed to laugh but he kind of hesitated, you could tell in his voice he was nervous to say it. Typically now I request a female interpeter when I call her.

im the same… im a big beleiver of looking ppl square in the eyes when ur talking to them and using body langauge… both obviously impossible over the phone.

u can use both to gage when is the best time to say something or what to say based on there body language etc…