Performance Enhancing Contact Lenses

Check out this story of performance enhancing contact lenses. I wonder if they’re for real.

New York Times, May 02, 2005; By Carl Simon -9 year olds at it again!

9 year old girls are buying performance enhancing contact lenses and using them to see other students’ test papers, guys underwear, and to send each other secret messages in class too small for the average human eye to discern. Parents are in an uproar. Mrs. Sara Jackson, mother of six 9 year old girls (all born at the same time)comments, “I tried to hide their birthday presents but they can see through walls!!” The NYSD plans to begin testing all high school students for performance enhancing eyewear starting next school year. “They were going to buy new school books and put a working computer in the library, but God forbid one of these girls gets better than a 20/20 eye sight score”, says Principal Dickwad.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
New York Times, May 02, 2005; By Carl Simon -9 year olds at it again!

9 year old girls are buying performance enhancing contact lenses and using them to see other students’ test papers, guys underwear, and to send each other secret messages in class too small for the average human eye to discern. Parents are in an uproar. Mrs. Sara Jackson, mother of six 9 year old girls (all born at the same time)comments, “I tried to hide their birthday presents but they can see through walls!!” The NYSD plans to begin testing all high school students for performance enhancing eyewear starting next school year. “They were going to buy new school books and put a working computer in the library, but God forbid one of these girls gets better than a 20/20 eye sight score”, says Principal Dickwad.[/quote]

Classic, Professor, just classic.

Actually i think it’s legit. It’s completely reasonable…

Super Powers?

No, but it could provide a slight edge. And the whole darth maul eyes thing is pretty nice by itself lol.

I heard about this before for shooters. They had contacts with a yellow tint to take away glare and help focus the eyes etc

Here’s the poop as well as some color choices for particular sports…but what color imporves my clean and jerk?

My dad has the glasses that are made for tennis. I’ve tried them & they do enhance the ball by a great deal! I know many of the linesmen/women are using them too!

I’m jsut waiting for the day when there’s x-ray glasses! That will be sweet!

Few yrs. ago I bought some glasses where u can see behind you. The’re really cool.

Performance enhancing eyewear has been around for quite some time, but the contacs seem to be a new thing.

I have smokey, amber, and red snowboarding goggles to wear with different sun conditions on the hill. The contacts are bad ass especially for baseball players who are consistently contending with varying light conditions. I imagine football players would have an advantage with these as well. Imagine a rainy day with slop on the field and but your field goal kicker is knockin’ em through the uprights because his contacts ehnance the goal posts, basically negating the weather conditions, sight wise.

GAINER