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People Pretending to Win Money

Hi friends,

I have an interesting scenario: my partners younger 26 year old brother, always seems to “win money”.

I see this guy maybe once every 6-8 weeks, and every time we see him, he tells us about a 10k win at the casino, or a 20k lotto win or sometimes a 1k win at the horses. He often does this with his first roll, spin or bet.

Thing is, the guy doesn’t ever have any cash on him, and nobody has actually seen him win this money. He doesn’t live a lavish lifestyle. My partners family seems to praise and celebrate the idea of him been so “lucky”.

I know some people are just lucky, but the odds of winning such money on such a regular occurrence is slim to none. I suppose it doesn’t bother me and doesn’t effect me anyway, although it bothers me that his family praises this behaviour.( His father likes to spend time betting on the horses as a hobby, but I haven’t heard much from him about his winnings.)

Any psychologist out there that can maybe explain this for me?

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It seems infinitely more likely that he’s making it up than he’s defying the odds and keeping all the money stashed away. Particularly given the value his family place on winning games of chance, and the total lack of evidence that he’s won.

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It’s called a gambling addiction. He may very well win the money but he turns around a bets the money he won to win “more” money. It’s a vicious cycle.

If you bet $9,000 to win $10,000 you really only won $1,000 It’s a vicious cycle.

He probably doesn’t brag about the times he bets $10,000 and wins $0

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As a devil’s advocate… maybe he’s a drug dealer or owns some creepy blog and needs a way to explain his excess cash… that’s the most exciting explanation.

Or he misses the validation and dopamine hits he got from good report cards and high school sports. That’s more likely.

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it’s “possible” he ‘won’ that money. Statistically speaking, if he’s gambling quite a bit, he’s likely to “win” money from time to time.

Question is: how much time and money does he spend at “winning” this money?

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That sounds like something his family would rather believe than the truth.

I’ve run into a couple of these really “lucky” guys. There’s always a bankruptcy, vehicle repo, ex-girlfriend who’s life savings he stole, etc. lurking just behind that “Wow” factor.

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Drug dealer was definitely my first thought.

And second. And third.

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I don’t buy the idea he’d repeatedly tell people he’s won lots of money and not show them in some way. I’d still put my money on “bullshit to make himself sound interesting”

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This.
He is trying to make himself feel better about all he is losing.
My first wife had the habit. She had several credit cards that I didn’t know about. She used her work address for her mail.

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Had a boss who gambled about every other weekend. Wouldn’t call them addicts as it’s what they did for entertainment and he worked all the time. I would often ask him how they did and he would say something like Deb hit an 800. But the story almost always ended with well we gave that back plus 100.

He never shared the stories as we lost 100. If one of them hit anything over 150 he started with that even though the end result was often negative.

Anyone who is gambling frequently is “winning” money quite often. After all games are built on the fact that you can win and sometimes that you do win quite frequently (it’s not hard to get close to even odds on various games).

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It would seem quite likely that a large amount of him is shit. Like if he was a glass it would be hard to pour more shit in.

If I got upset every time someone lied to big note themselves, I would be a very sad person.

I don’t even bother to try understand why people lie. I just accept that it happens and I move on.

@strongmangoals: I like your way of thinking.

Stoicism?

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