In the desert SW we have the above, plus the following sub-species:
The furtive Cholos. They come in a group of 4-5 and bench (always sub-135) and do pull downs. They whisper to each other in Spanish and get mad when you lift more than they do. They are often seen with the Abuelo (below).
The Abuello is a older Mexican male, generally with prison tats. He tells the Furtive Cholos when to stop acting stupid, and they respect him. He lifts good weights, but does not squat. He is friendly, wise, and would be played by Edward James Olmos in a movie about the gym. There is always one Abuello in the gym at all times.
The Large Fat Rednecks. They are strong, work out hard, albeit with stupid superstitions, and are experts in everything they do, or so they will tell you. They will regail you with their exploits in minor league football, the oilfield, whiskey, and hunting. They hate the Cholos, but only fight among one another. For some reason the hot Mexican Cougar is insanely sexually attracted to them and will come talk to them during sets, which will make the Large Fat Rednecks angry. You can buy steroids from them, if inclined.
The Mexican Cougar is a college-educated woman, and the scariest creature in the gym. She is age 39 (for the last 10 years), very, very fit, great fake tits, but with a face that is rather hard, but attractive. She is painfully insecure. She is on the prowl for a rich man, white only, hates the Cholos, respects the Abuello (but would never date him), and will have sex with any WHITE male that is fit and makes at least $100,000 in a white collar profession. Tempting, of course. BUT she will, however, never leave once you have sex with her and will burn your house down and kill your horses if you don’t date her, and her alone. You don’t have to marry her, but you have to be exclusive until you die, which could be soon.
The Chicanas. They are pleasantly plump 18 year olds. Pretty because they are 18 and not yet fat. They work out in a pack, 4 days a week, for 4 weeks, then leave, never to be seen again. They hate the Large Fat Rednecks and, well everyone at the gym, except they will see the Cholos at a party later and have sex with them. They will become pregnant with your child if you glance at them, so do not meet their gaze.
The Divorcee. This is a related species to the Mexican Cougar. Or perhaps the Mexican Cougar is a sub-species of the Divorce. Mid-30s, Most Divorcees are Anglo. They are fit, nice, and one of the guys, for a while. Inevitably, one of your group will have sex with The Divorcee for about 3 weeks, after which she will leave and date someone at her work for three weeks. You will have fond memories, learn at least one new sexual position, and have no less than 42 orgasms during your three week relationship, including one draining blow job in the aerobics room behind the stacks of gymnastic pads. The only draw back is her ex-husband will go crazy, find you, and blame you for their divorce. He may or may not be a Large Redneck, but will have a gun and a history of violence.
The Firemen. The Firemen are among the fittest at the gym and are generally working some angle to get rich. They are great workout partners and friends. They can have sex with most females at the gym, except the Chicanas (because The Firemen are too old) and The Mexican Cougar, because they don’t make enough money.
