T Nation

People at Your Gym


#1

This is a thread where you write about the people at your gym that you don't know and never talked to and give them nicknames, like the squat rack curl thread but with people. All in good fun. This forum is not what it used to be in this regard but let's give it a try.

Mr.Muscle Confusion 2000

Guy with a pony tail, not good at it. Met him a couple years ago at another gym, where we talked about weightlifting. He told me: ''It's hard to confuse the muscle every week''. I see him now 5 years after, haven't progressed at all. Probably still trying to find a way to confuse his muscles.

The guy that nicknamed himself Godzilla

Can't say to much about this one because if he see this he might recognize himself (even if I doubt he reads in English, must be too demanding). Regular fat juicer without real intensity in the gym and no leg training. Has a facebook page with his name with a wordplay with Godzilla and his name. Sometimes wear a weightlifting belt with this wordplay written on it.


#2

We nick named a few:
Shirtless Herman (we thought he was German and he only ever wore a vest or went completely without a shirt/top- got talking to him after a year or so, he was English but had been brought up in Holland, nice guy!)

Billy Bandage always had a bandage on his wrist or knee and carried his (dress) shoes around the gym, he was a compete dick head, max the weight stack awful form and dropped the stack making a real noise every rep. He ended up wearing ear defenders so he didn’t get distracted by other peoples noise!


#3

Little Stinker was a pechoolie stinking, dirty hippy who wore intricate hemp necklaces and basketball jerseys. He smelled.


#4

Sir Talks-a-lot … nice enough guy but do not make eye contact or he’ll talk your fuckin’ ear off … does not respond to body language or social cues. Best way to detach is to avoid, 2nd best is to bluntly end the conversation.

Brag-amuffin - LOOOOOVES to tell you how much better he is at EVERYTHING. I don’t talk to him but hear him talking to whoever will listen about all the stuff he’s good at. Oddly enough, I’ve never really seen him do anything in the cage … mainly hangs out near the machines and dumbbells and cardio.


#5

Adam (Prince of Eternia)

Guy who looks a bit like He-Man before he transforms. Always tries to stare you down, if you stare back he adopts a cartoonish smirk. Swishes his towel around as if it were nunchucks or something, and once threw it at my feet in what I assume was some kind of challenge. Does bizarre stretching and workout consists of tri-sets of treadmill, lat pull-down, and the crunch machine. He’s a known “character” around town and has been kicked out of a few gyms. Seemingly unemployed but affluent, nobody knows what his story is.


#6

I get along with everyone at my gym for the most part. There aren’t too many characters. Though there is a guy who snorts ammonia after every lift.


#7

[quote]Aero51 wrote:
I get along with everyone at my gym for the most part. There aren’t too many characters. Though there is a guy who snorts ammonia after every lift.[/quote]
After?


#8

Before and after. He brings a box of it every day.


#9

The Ballerina - ~24, M?, 5’10, 145, every day wears a string-tank and tights. Makes noises like he’s on the receiving end on every rep of his super light weight super high rep routine. Hair gel overkill and Beats. When he’s done “lifting” he gets on the treadmill with his doofus mask. Half way through his cardio he starts holding a 10-lb weight over his head. We’re pretty sure he wears lip gloss.

Football Guy - Mid-20’s black guy wears football gloves. But that’s not all. He also brings his football. In between stets of 95-lb cleans (dropping the weight from shoulder height and growling loudly), he does football moves with his football. He watches himself in the mirror. Football guy grades himself with hand gestures on how well he has performed his 3-5 step drops, juke moves, spin moves, and coverage read progessions. Football guy tells everyone about his upcoming tryout for the NFL.

The ANIMAL - The ANIMAL comes in every day dressed to the 9’s in Elite FTS, TNATION, and ANIMAL gear. He has every wrap, strap, band, chalk, belt, shoe, sock, and headband you could ever ask for. The ANIMAL talks to every girl in the gym and follows them around. He doesn’t lift anything particularly noteworthy.

BYOB: Warmup Warrior - Got his name because he brings his own bar. It’s a Texas Power Bar, which is awesome, but he barely lifts. He does about an hour of warmup with mobility drills, stretching, and foam rolling. He lifts for about 15 minutes and leaves.

Mr. Quickie - Cheating a little bit. His name is Gary and everybody knows and loves Gary. Gary is in and out of the gym in 30 minutes, including change and shower time. When he comes in I offer to start the hot water in the shower, because it probably won’t even be hot yet by the time he’s done working out.

The Stripper - This girl is about as big around as a barbell with gynormous fake ones. She is clearly a professional because she goes out of her way to be near the dudes and doing stuff that very obviously accentuates her gynormous fake ones. Penicillin is recommended for anyone who gets within 4 feet of The Stripper or shares equipment of any kind.


#10

Hunch back of notre damm:
Bench day is everyday. Benches so much that he now looks like a hunch back. He is actually a nice guy to talk to, but just needs an increase in his selection of exercises.

Skeletor:
40 year old women, often stinks of alcohol on sunday mornings, so skinny that you can see her skeleton. Only does cardio and probably lives on 500 calories a day.

tweet


#11

[quote]theBird wrote:
Skeletor:
40 year old women, often stinks of alcohol on sunday mornings, so skinny that you can see her skeleton. Only does cardio and probably lives on 500 calories a day.
[/quote]

Maybe I can set her up with the Prince of Eternia.


#12

I lift in a strongman gym and since most regulars are nice people who know each other by name, there isn’t really such a thing as nicknames. However, a very small number of people…

The Swede - I don’t know her real name, but she’s a chemical engineer with a British accent, in spite of her nationality. Looks like a fitness model, in a good way. Watching her interact with guys from a distance is fun because the dude’s body language is like an open book.

The pleb - a powerlifting dude who loves calling people dawg and has no concept of personal space. He recently slapped the belly of our resident gymnast and said that he’s ‘lucky’ to have visible abs in spite of his bodyfat levels [sic]. Some people.

The tough Italian - started out as a thai boxer, apparently he’s into crossfit now. Asks for a spotter and then grunts through squat sets with 165 on the bar.


#13

[quote]Diddy Ryder wrote:
Adam (Prince of Eternia)

Guy who looks a bit like He-Man before he transforms. Always tries to stare you down, if you stare back he adopts a cartoonish smirk. Swishes his towel around as if it were nunchucks or something, and once threw it at my feet in what I assume was some kind of challenge. Does bizarre stretching and workout consists of tri-sets of treadmill, lat pull-down, and the crunch machine. He’s a known “character” around town and has been kicked out of a few gyms. Seemingly unemployed but affluent, nobody knows what his story is.[/quote]

Diddy, not to derail the thread but where you training these days? I’m in Edinburgh quite a lot and have been training a few different places


#14

There was this guy who trained about the same time as myself and workout partner for a while. He’s a weird guy, does this exaggerated breathing, like he’s a steam train on every concentric. Some weird tai chi during his very long rest periods.

The racks are at the end of the gym, around a corner. Leg day and as we go around that corner , he jumps out from behind a machine and tells us we need to always be aware of our surroundings (maybe people get mugged in gyms, I don’t know)

After that, we crowned him: Kung Fu Joe

So about a month goes by and this guy decides to introduce himself: “Hey, btw my name is Joe”. My friend and I just burst into laughter.


#15

[quote]Yogi wrote:
Diddy, not to derail the thread but where you training these days? I’m in Edinburgh quite a lot and have been training a few different places[/quote]

I train in Virgin Active at the Omni Centre. You been there yet?


#16

Got a few by me, I imagine they’re all nice people.

Dog The Bounty Hunter: The rub is that, this is a female. Hair done just like Dog’s.

Cowardly Lion: Another female, huge jowls. Looks like the Wizard of Oz character.

Ms. 1/16th of a Rep: This older lady that did partial reps.

Mr. 1/64th of a rep: A guy, but worse ROM than the lady above.

Mr. 1/128 of a rep: Why even bother going to the gym.

Harrison Fraud: Looks a little like a younger Harrison Ford, but not quite.

The Mask: This lady that comes in, does a credible workout though. Completely void of any facial expression, hate to play cards with her.

B.O. Plenty: Guy around 25, smells incredibly foul and when he’s on the treadmill, sweat flies off him like a clydesdale.

The Spanish Contingent: The line up varies, usually 2 men and a younger lady, BTW she has a great squat going. Nice people, I talk to them once in a while.

The Monster Booty Twins: 2 black ladies around 40 with huge donks… they always say hi. Possibly sisters.

Short And Shorter: Again, possibly sisters and maybe 4’8" to 4’9" tall.

The Chinese Laundry Guy: Oriental fellow, always wears white undershirts, not tee-shirts.

High Tide: This one, all of his gym pants are about 4" too short.

Low Tide: A real fat lady with a very strong feminine odor about her. I can smell her before I see her.

Harry Dead Stanton: Looks like the actor but younger, Harry Dean Stanton, but looks unbelievably cadaverous. Prison pallor complexion, not a speck of fat or muscle on him.

The Auto Parts Store Guy: Looks like he belongs behind the counter of an auto parts store.

The Oil Burner Guy: Looks like someone you’d expect to show up at the house to fix a crapped out boiler.


#17

I haven’t been to a gym in a few years but I remember a couple characters.

The Axe Murderer - I steered clear of this guy. He was a big dude, I’ve seen him almost get in several fights at the gym and he had a face that looked like he’d been in a few hundred knife fights.

Ugg slippers guy - lifted in furry Ugg slippers


#18

Some of the people from my gyms over the years, in no particular order:

Kung-fu Panda - Woman that resembles the character. Just does Yoga / Pilates. Should probably be called Yoga Panda.

The Twirler - Uses the punchbags - loudly. Specialises in a (really poor) spinning back-fist which is more akin to a ballet move, hence the name.

Tree - This guy trained in a ‘spit and sawdust’ gym where almost all where juicing (lots of doormen / gangsters etc) and many were considerably large. His arms were much bigger than anyone elses, so he earned the name.

Surfer Dude - Looks like he sleeps in a VW on the beach. Hair looks like it’s regularly washed in salt water. Pretty good shape considering he has no idea what he’s doing on the machines!

Legwarmer Woman - Never seen without them.

Balloon Man - A typical ‘water baby’ with no legs. Looks like he uses synthol.


#19

[quote]Diddy Ryder wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:
Diddy, not to derail the thread but where you training these days? I’m in Edinburgh quite a lot and have been training a few different places[/quote]

I train in Virgin Active at the Omni Centre. You been there yet?
[/quote]

That’s where I’ve been training!

I’m gonna git ya


#20

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]Diddy Ryder wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:
Diddy, not to derail the thread but where you training these days? I’m in Edinburgh quite a lot and have been training a few different places[/quote]

I train in Virgin Active at the Omni Centre. You been there yet?
[/quote]

That’s where I’ve been training!

I’m gonna git ya[/quote]

Ha! When are you next in town?