T Nation

People at Your Gym


#1

This is the thread where you write about the clowns in your gym

The clueless roider:

He started taking roids before even starting to lift weight. First time he got into the gym he went to the pec-deck, set the whole stack and starting struggling to do one rep because he wanted ''mass''. one year later he still cant bench 225, having made easy and super fast gain. besides doing bench occasionally he do curls. Spend more time talking to his cellphones and his clueless friends about which club in the old montreal they are gonna go this evening than working out

The village idiot:

He works in a factory where he spends his days throwing bags of flour around. Still don't understand that he needs to progress with the weight to make gains. Been rowing 35's DB for a year. He ask the 140lbs personnal trainer ''what's the secret ?''. Took 6 month just to learn the proper form on machine movement.

The deadlifter:

has the worst deadlift form ever and thinks deadlift are for the hams. Won't listen to other people, he has been working out for SIX years so he know his stuff. can't deadlift 3plates tought.

The frog:

He is 5'6 and weight 230lbs. He weight himself on the gym scale at the end of each workout, that's his way of measuring progress. The problem is he is probably 25-30% percent fat. But at least it's proportionnate fat. Looks like a big bloated frog.

The gym rat:

Goes to the gym even when he is injured and can't workout so he can meet his buddies. I think he just enjoy being there. Like all his friends in the mid thirthy who are not worthy of being wrote about, he can't bench more that 155, don't squat and don't deadlift.

The PT:
I caught him complaining on how he hates squat. Don't workout (or at least don't look like he workout). One day he took the only rack to set his trax rope (I don't know how it is called) to do his bodyweight exercise. . He is a wanna-be strenght coach with a shaved head. He is a total failure like the two other PT with the shaved head.In his head he is really jacked. He his as clueless as the average lifter if not even more. Total dick with the customer.


#2

The Slutty receptionist

She flirts with every single guy as he scans his card (especially the married ones). She is lazy, doesn't show up on time, gets one of the trainers to fold the towels, DOESN'T WORK OUT. If you need to speak to someone about billing, she calls the manager who reminds her that the accounting department's phone number is taped to the inside of the counter - right in front of her face. Keeps her job because she fucks the manager. She isn't THAT hot - she has a nice set of tits and that's about it (she's 22 so that shit'll be down by her knees in ten years) LOL


#3

Why do you care so much if other people do things 'wrong'? You're just being insecure, stop acting like such an expert.


#4

me and my partner make up names for just about everyone, so here goes.

Pull-up king - PK for short. Old balding man, that knows nothing about anything, and is trying to do a mock up of the "300" workout. Chalks his hands like a mofo, and leaves a big ass chalky mess all over the floor. Most well known for his variation of the traditional pull-up, that looks more like he is doing the worm, while hanging from the bar.

Range of Motion Man - ROM for short. Does all exercises with as little range of motion as possible, literally moving weights about 1 inch regardless of the exercise.

The Beeper - Older guy, mid 40's who makes a beeping sound with his mouth at the bottom of any pressing motion. i.e. when ever the bar touches his chest for bench, or military presses.

The Bro - (Idk if these exist anywhere outside of southern CA, and I rather hope they don't.) The tough guy wearing the gay "Tapout" shirt, or the sleeveless "skin" jersey. Usually wearing hat or bandana so low, that you can't see his eyebrows. Knows nothing about weightlifting, or form, and even less about diet. Thinks he's badass because he can bench 205 for 4 reps. Apparently has no knowledge of the lower body, as legs are chicken-like in nature, and never move any more than their massive 135lb frame. In his mind, he is the toughest, most badass person alive.(this is a whole collective, not just a single douche)

Squatmaster - Does good mornings with 225, and a slight knee bend, thinks these are called "squats". Looks exactly the same as he did a year ago.

Nasser - Nasser el Sonbaty. Ex-Pro, and second runner up in the 1997 Mr. O. Still a gigantic human being.

Raccoon Joe - This is the talker with insecurity issues. He talks to everybody, except the people that are at the gym for serious. Always tells everyone what body part he's working on that day, and makes sure to know what everyone else is doing as well. He gets the nickname "Raccoon" for the DARK circles around his eyes. As far as we can tell, it is due to insomnia, or a drug problem, or both. Also, has been caught watching younger males bend over to pick up their weights numerous times. Can usually be heard talking loudly about how off the hook last weekend was, or what crazy cool plans he has for next weekend. Yet another putz who looks exactly the same as he did when I started a year ago. If he spent even 1/4 the time that he spends talking actually working, or researching, he'd have a respectable physique.

Well that's just about all I got at the moment.


#5

the im so sweet i just wear my backwards hat and affliction shirt- this guy thinks hes super strong as he looks at your stack on the lat pull downs makes a face then puts his two slots heavier. He proceeds to do about 8 1/4 reps then stands up jumps around and checks himself out in the mirror before hitting the showers.


#6

gravitron groupies


#7

It's kind of sad at my gym. I go to all american 24 hr fitness which is usually the world crowd in the world.

The Geriatrics: They are all the same. Sitting on machines staring at people, putting twenty pounds on the lat pull and not even doing full reps and walking around the place. Luckily they stay away from the equipment I actually use. Also, they love to do sit-ups. But not full sit-ups, like the kind where you reach over your belly to grab more chips.

The Mexicans: Generally 30-45 years old, comes in to do a few sets of the benchpress, and after a year they are still doing the same weight, but they've gotten fatter. Like to walk on the treadmill and stare at the fat mexican girls. (Now, realize I live in East Tulsa. A very large illegal immigrant population here.) They look at you weird when you deadlift.

The Cougars: Man, some of them can work out. And have some tight asses. Loves to hit some hills on the elliptical and do their curls and rows.

The tall, fat balding man: Always sweating their ass off on the elliptical and sucking balls on the weights. Never see them doing compound movements, because the only muscles on their bodies are their biceps. Sometimes you see them migrate towards the assisted pull-up machine. Seems to know a lot of guys at the gym because they go there all the time, and they like to give advice to people which they never seem to use.

The guy that actually works out and has a respectable physique: Doesn't exist at my gym if you were there past eight AM or before six PM.


#8

Abermeisters - Will do a variety of exercises for abs. Rarely do gut wrenching compound movements. Will concentrate on arms.

Semi bench-pressers - Will bench heavy weights, but only half-bench presses. Generally take 10 secs to finish 5-7 reps. Same body weights since months.

Thighmasters?? - They have the notion that leg extensions build thighs

Assisted heavyweights - Will lift very weights with substantial assistance from a partner


#9

You talking about the Nasser? If thats the case, boy you are lucky....


#10

The scrawny guy who prefers "isolation" exercises: While busting my ass by the squat rack a gym employee - weighing at best 130lbs before his morning dump - makes the comment that he hates squats and prefers to isolate each muscle!


#11

Strongman mate: always wonders whether he shall workout, or not. He takes 2 weeks off every two months, and even refuses to take part in school PE lessons, in order not to inhibit his recovery. Though he's strong as fuck.

Dieting mate: Complains that despite his 40 gr carb intake he still can't loose weight. Even though he's around 20% bodyfat, when it's sunday, he starts his "cheat day" exactly at 00:00, and keeps eating everything within hand reach for 24 hours. Thus on Monday he's a bit bloated.

Me: Who reads a lot of stuff about training, nutrition, supplements, nevertheless I always keep my workouts the same with slight changes, always reciting that how I hate supplement companies for their adverts, and even know a lot about gear from forums, books, and of course I ask a lot from the enhanced trainees too. It doesn't matter as I'm coward as hell and don't want to use anything of that sort before I'm 25 y.o. (7.5 years to go, yeah)

My brother: Doing endless sets of abdominal work, as well as using light weight on every excersise. He has a GIANT pasta meal 15 minutes pre-workout, and I always keep telling him, that "Bro, how on Earth can you digest and train simultaneously?" And he just can.

The Taylor, alias Szabó brothers: The older one is a bit fat, takes tons of supplements, yet his nutrition is consist of traditional Hungarian dishes and bread. The younger one weighs about 40 kgs, can bench his bodyweight with a slight sternum drive (read: I always have my cell phone at hand whenever he benches to make sure that I can call for ambulance car at once if he breaks something)

Older Bald Guy: He's been smuggling petrol, cigarettes, alcoholic beverages from Ukraine for two decades, so he always has great stories to share. He's been lifting since his teens, he had dozens of shoulder-hip-knee-spine injuries. And of course he only knows ACDC, so whenever he steps into the gym, insert his disc to the music player, tunes it up and that's it.

Hmmm I think I could write a lot from it, as we have only about 15-20 members, and everyone has something unusual, weird. :slight_smile:


#12

Clearly you've never left southern California. Ever.


#13

The "i have something on my lip so i'm going to wipe it off with the bottom of my t shirt so i can see my abs in the mirror" guy.


#14

How about the guy who stands there, analyzing the quirks, foibles and faults of others instead of actually lifting weights? How about THAT guy?! HUH?!

:slight_smile:


#15

^ is one of the described guys.


#16

I like the senior citizen who notices you looking around for a spot and offers Her assistance. Old people are cool azz mofo's No fear.


#17

The Chatty Cathy: this gym member seems to be able to hold a conversation with anyone in their proximty during their entire "workout". Somehow during their entire "weight lifting session" they never seem to run out of breath and can hold conversations during their sets.

Also run their mouthes while doing cardio. Headphones and lack of eye contact are required to avoid this person. Do not train when this is the only other person in the gym or the strategies previously mentioned will NOT work.


#18

Or the cool Head trainer, who knows there is a NO chalk rule in the commercial gym you train in. He see's you with 500 on the floor and walks over to you with a heavy frown on his brow and yells come on man FOCUS. Then tells you the joke of the other trainers running to him to squeel about the no chalk rule your breaking every Deadlift day.

Trust me not many of them around but you have some cool people who can't do it but get what your doing.


#19

This is more so geared towards the locker room. What about "Mr. I have to stay naked as long as humanly fucking possible in the locker room guy". He'll shower, shave, dry his hair, brush his teeth, so on and so forth. To top it off he is usually in his fifties, at least, and resembles a wildebeest.


#20

Guy 1:

What about the guy who puts on his lifting belt the moment he walks in the gym and doesn't take it off until he walks back out again no matter which exercises he is doing!

This same guy also never breaks a sweat and has long conversations with his buddies because he thinks the gym is a nightclub!

Oh yeah, and when you tell him that he is "looking a little leaner lately" he asks, "what do you mean by leaner"?

Guy 2:

There is a really skinny guy hanging from the pull-up bar gazing at himself in the mirror so I walk up to him and ask:

"Hey buddy, how is the training going, what are you trying to do"?

He replies:

"Oh I'm doing a mass-gaining phase at the moment and I've finished my workout for today so I'm hanging like this to burn a few extra calories"!