People At My Gym

[quote]MAK40 wrote:
I workout in my college gym which is filled with frat dudes wearing tanks (some cut all the way down the side to reveal non-existant lats). My partner and I are usually the only two wearing shirts with sleeves. The amount of ego in that gym is retarded. The stuff I see is hilarious, to the point of laughing (quarter squats, flexing in the mirror, half ROM benching, wearing straps to deadlift 135, etc). Although, it probably doesn’t help that all the cardio machines (used only by girls) are up on the second floor and look down on the weight room…

I was repping 405 on my DL’s the other day at the end of my back workout, and had some small wanna-be-trainer come up to me and tell me I was cheating because I was using straps. I asked him to put on the straps and try to pick up the bar. He then told me he wasn’t used to straps because “he doesn’t cheat” so he wouldn’t be able to lift it while wearing them, then proceeded to walk away with his arms flared out…only to correct someone else’s form across the gym. Good times. [/quote]

omg. that is soooo damn funny. i couldn’t stop laughing! wow. anyway today at MY gym, this steroid guy comes right up to me and says, “hey, how long you gonna be? i tell him, " a while. im doing circuits.” guy says, “i see you here all the time and you always take long in the rack. This isnt you’re personal gym you know, its Golds gym for the public.” so i said, " well I’m considered the public and I was here first. he walked off before i could even finish what i was saying… total wife beater. for real.

[quote]Bauber wrote:

[quote]Kamel wrote:
I had this one guy approach me at the gym and ask questions about working out and nutrition. Through conversation I learned he was a recovering cocoaine addict and was trying to turn is life around. So I helped him with a program and gave him some pointers with a diet and he came to the gym religously for about two months. He stopped coming for a month and one day wandered in and told me he fell off the wagon but was eager to give a serious go at the gym again. We then had the following conversation,

Him, “So I can get some steriods off a buddy of mine.”
Me, “Why?”
“I’m having a hard time putting on weight.”
“When was the last time you did cocoaine?”
“About four days ago.”
“What have you eaten today?”
“A big mac meal from McDonald’s.”
“How about stop doing cocoaine and maybe start eating a lot more in the run of a day than just a big mac meal”
“… I think I’ll just get the steriods.”

Awesome[/quote]

I hope he is sterilized.
[/quote]

One can only hope

[quote]Krinks wrote:
MP3 player with ear buds on even if you aren’t listening to anything and don’t make eye contact. A major co-worker babe once told me this is how she walks to work and keeps away the riff raff. Problem solved. [/quote]
I do this at the gym and whenever I’m at airport’s, except this one time some guy was trying to talk to me at an airport and my headphones weren’t even plugged in and the plug was hanging out on the floor and I was doing that head Bob thing pretending to be listening to music

I too shall contribute my own deliriously farcical narrative. I had embarked on an evening of repetitious iron clanging and eager I was to supplant my previous bests. Beta alanine, creatine and perilous amounts of caffeine (and perhaps some horny goat weed as well) were coursing through my veins. My minions blow a tungehorn to announce my arrival to the other gym goers. With the conclusion of my warm-up, which consists of ravaging the cardio-bunnies, I make my way to the room of iron clanging. To my dismay no 45s are available. How am I to squat? It is then I see across the gym. the famed plate’o’saurus rex. All the 45s where stacked on a single barbell just shy of 600lbs. The plate’o’saurus rex stands six feet two inches and weighs 165 lbs. Although this can vary due to climate. The plat’o’saurus rex was performing static holds. Lifting the 600 lb barbell half an inch off the safety bars in the squat rack.

“Doth thou need rack every single 45” I inquire.
“Hast thou seen any sort of progress with such an absurd routine”

Hesitant I am for the plate’o’saurus rex is known for being incredibly fucking stupid.

The plate’o’saurus rex us unused to such inquiring. As it is often avoided by other gym members that know the beast to be fucking weird because who racks 600 lbs for static holds.

None the less the cowering beast mumbles a response

" I have seen plenty of progress."

Intrigued I ask

“Dost tho recall the number of lunar cycles tho hast been doing this fucking retarded program?”

“Tho must realize never on this earth has a man grown from such a routine.”

“Not true” rebukes the beast “Lou Ferrigno and Sergio Olivia did such a routine”

Provoked by such blasphemous allegations I unsheathe my dagger from my scabbard and slay the treacherous beast. No longer will I allow such vermin to squander around in my dominion of iron.

Post work out me and my brethren have an open pit roast. Despite being extremely fucking stupid the plate’o’saurus rex is a great source of protein.

[quote]A-rod wrote:
I too shall contribute my own deliriously farcical narrative. I had embarked on an evening of repetitious iron clanging and eager I was to supplant my previous bests. Beta alanine, creatine and perilous amounts of caffeine (and perhaps some horny goat weed as well) were coursing through my veins. My minions blow a tungehorn to announce my arrival to the other gym goers. With the conclusion of my warm-up, which consists of ravaging the cardio-bunnies, I make my way to the room of iron clanging. To my dismay no 45s are available. How am I to squat? It is then I see across the gym. the famed plate’o’saurus rex. All the 45s where stacked on a single barbell just shy of 600lbs. The plate’o’saurus rex stands six feet two inches and weighs 165 lbs. Although this can vary due to climate. The plat’o’saurus rex was performing static holds. Lifting the 600 lb barbell half an inch off the safety bars in the squat rack.

“Doth thou need rack every single 45” I inquire.
“Hast thou seen any sort of progress with such an absurd routine”

Hesitant I am for the plate’o’saurus rex is known for being incredibly fucking stupid.

The plate’o’saurus rex us unused to such inquiring. As it is often avoided by other gym members that know the beast to be fucking weird because who racks 600 lbs for static holds.

None the less the cowering beast mumbles a response

" I have seen plenty of progress."

Intrigued I ask

“Dost tho recall the number of lunar cycles tho hast been doing this fucking retarded program?”

“Tho must realize never on this earth has a man grown from such a routine.”

“Not true” rebukes the beast “Lou Ferrigno and Sergio Olivia did such a routine”

Provoked by such blasphemous allegations I unsheathe my dagger from my scabbard and slay the treacherous beast. No longer will I allow such vermin to squander around in my dominion of iron.

Post work out me and my brethren have an open pit roast. Despite being extremely fucking stupid the plate’o’saurus rex is a great source of protein. [/quote]

I hate those fucking plate’o’saurus Rexes. Because my gym refuses to get 100 lbs plates for the legpress because and I quote, “someone might get hurt trying to move them”. Fucking really?

[quote]A-rod wrote:
“Doth thou need rack every single 45” I inquire.
“Hast thou seen any sort of progress with such an absurd routine”
[/quote]

Man, you made actual contact with this creature?

The only thing worse than the squater who does this, it’s the leg presser. I mean they slap 45’s on it till the slab of concrete it’s sitting on starts to crack. They then break it off the safety pins and might bend their knees an inch. For reps. They hardly ever warm up either. Just straigt to 1,000+. I will give them credit, they probably got more out of loading the damn thing than any other workout that they will probably do all week.

Tell me about it man. All joking aside this kid is in there 4-5 times a week doing the most retarded shit. He works out late when I am there and there is a hardcore group of dedicated guys who work out the same time and every single one of us has tried to help him to no avail. Hence he was dubbed plate’o’saurus rex. I have never seen a 100 lb plate in any commercial gym ever.

[quote]Bauber wrote:

[quote]A-rod wrote:
I too shall contribute my own deliriously farcical narrative. I had embarked on an evening of repetitious iron clanging and eager I was to supplant my previous bests. Beta alanine, creatine and perilous amounts of caffeine (and perhaps some horny goat weed as well) were coursing through my veins. My minions blow a tungehorn to announce my arrival to the other gym goers. With the conclusion of my warm-up, which consists of ravaging the cardio-bunnies, I make my way to the room of iron clanging. To my dismay no 45s are available. How am I to squat? It is then I see across the gym. the famed plate’o’saurus rex. All the 45s where stacked on a single barbell just shy of 600lbs. The plate’o’saurus rex stands six feet two inches and weighs 165 lbs. Although this can vary due to climate. The plat’o’saurus rex was performing static holds. Lifting the 600 lb barbell half an inch off the safety bars in the squat rack.

“Doth thou need rack every single 45” I inquire.
“Hast thou seen any sort of progress with such an absurd routine”

Hesitant I am for the plate’o’saurus rex is known for being incredibly fucking stupid.

The plate’o’saurus rex us unused to such inquiring. As it is often avoided by other gym members that know the beast to be fucking weird because who racks 600 lbs for static holds.

None the less the cowering beast mumbles a response

" I have seen plenty of progress."

Intrigued I ask

“Dost tho recall the number of lunar cycles tho hast been doing this fucking retarded program?”

“Tho must realize never on this earth has a man grown from such a routine.”

“Not true” rebukes the beast “Lou Ferrigno and Sergio Olivia did such a routine”

Provoked by such blasphemous allegations I unsheathe my dagger from my scabbard and slay the treacherous beast. No longer will I allow such vermin to squander around in my dominion of iron.

Post work out me and my brethren have an open pit roast. Despite being extremely fucking stupid the plate’o’saurus rex is a great source of protein. [/quote]

I hate those fucking plate’o’saurus Rexes. Because my gym refuses to get 100 lbs plates for the legpress because and I quote, “someone might get hurt trying to move them”. Fucking really?
[/quote]

[quote]Kamel wrote:
I had this one guy approach me at the gym and ask questions about working out and nutrition. Through conversation I learned he was a recovering cocoaine addict and was trying to turn is life around. So I helped him with a program and gave him some pointers with a diet and he came to the gym religously for about two months. He stopped coming for a month and one day wandered in and told me he fell off the wagon but was eager to give a serious go at the gym again. We then had the following conversation,

Him, “So I can get some steriods off a buddy of mine.”
Me, “Why?”
“I’m having a hard time putting on weight.”
“When was the last time you did cocoaine?”
“About four days ago.”
“What have you eaten today?”
“A big mac meal from McDonald’s.”
“How about stop doing cocoaine and maybe start eating a lot more in the run of a day than just a big mac meal”
“… I think I’ll just get the steriods.”

Awesome[/quote]

Sounds like a solid plan to me. Bulk up w/ the McDonalds, then cut with the cocaine. Roids to help bulk then retain muscle mass during his cut. Maybe you should be more open minded.

4 power racks at my gym doing double duty as bench and squat racks. My partners and I take one of them and set up for bench press. I work up to 365 on the bench, and when I go to add another dime to each side, I find they’re missing. Then I realize that the skinny guy on the rack next to us has 4 dimes on each side FOR SQUATS. Instead of taking them from one of the other two empty squat racks, or better yet, putting a 45 on each side, he takes the dimes from our rack. I walk over, point to the row of tens, and ask, “hey man, are you doing drop sets or something?” He says, “no, I just like the balance better with these.”

[quote]A-rod wrote:
Tell me about it man. All joking aside this kid is in there 4-5 times a week doing the most retarded shit. He works out late when I am there and there is a hardcore group of dedicated guys who work out the same time and every single one of us has tried to help him to no avail. Hence he was dubbed plate’o’saurus rex. I have never seen a 100 lb plate in any commercial gym ever.

[quote]Bauber wrote:

[quote]A-rod wrote:
I too shall contribute my own deliriously farcical narrative. I had embarked on an evening of repetitious iron clanging and eager I was to supplant my previous bests. Beta alanine, creatine and perilous amounts of caffeine (and perhaps some horny goat weed as well) were coursing through my veins. My minions blow a tungehorn to announce my arrival to the other gym goers. With the conclusion of my warm-up, which consists of ravaging the cardio-bunnies, I make my way to the room of iron clanging. To my dismay no 45s are available. How am I to squat? It is then I see across the gym. the famed plate’o’saurus rex. All the 45s where stacked on a single barbell just shy of 600lbs. The plate’o’saurus rex stands six feet two inches and weighs 165 lbs. Although this can vary due to climate. The plat’o’saurus rex was performing static holds. Lifting the 600 lb barbell half an inch off the safety bars in the squat rack.

“Doth thou need rack every single 45” I inquire.
“Hast thou seen any sort of progress with such an absurd routine”

Hesitant I am for the plate’o’saurus rex is known for being incredibly fucking stupid.

The plate’o’saurus rex us unused to such inquiring. As it is often avoided by other gym members that know the beast to be fucking weird because who racks 600 lbs for static holds.

None the less the cowering beast mumbles a response

" I have seen plenty of progress."

Intrigued I ask

“Dost tho recall the number of lunar cycles tho hast been doing this fucking retarded program?”

“Tho must realize never on this earth has a man grown from such a routine.”

“Not true” rebukes the beast “Lou Ferrigno and Sergio Olivia did such a routine”

Provoked by such blasphemous allegations I unsheathe my dagger from my scabbard and slay the treacherous beast. No longer will I allow such vermin to squander around in my dominion of iron.

Post work out me and my brethren have an open pit roast. Despite being extremely fucking stupid the plate’o’saurus rex is a great source of protein. [/quote]

I hate those fucking plate’o’saurus Rexes. Because my gym refuses to get 100 lbs plates for the legpress because and I quote, “someone might get hurt trying to move them”. Fucking really?
[/quote]
[/quote]

There was a gym I trained at for a year in the area that had 100lbs plates and 210 lbs dumbbells. Sadly it went out of business =(.

I saw a kid literally get his knees pushed behind his head trying to legpress what I had on there. Luckily he didnt get hurt, but it was funny watching him squeal. I would have had sympathy for him except he bugged the shit out of me, wouldn’t work in with me, and kept asking when I was going to be done. Then said the weight I had on there is what he always uses (15 plates each side).

[quote]KingKai25 wrote:
4 power racks at my gym doing double duty as bench and squat racks. My partners and I take one of them and set up for bench press. I work up to 365 on the bench, and when I go to add another dime to each side, I find they’re missing. Then I realize that the skinny guy on the rack next to us has 4 dimes on each side FOR SQUATS. Instead of taking them from one of the other two empty squat racks, or better yet, putting a 45 on each side, he takes the dimes from our rack. I walk over, point to the row of tens, and ask, “hey man, are you doing drop sets or something?” He says, “no, I just like the balance better with these.”[/quote]

I would literally just take the dimes. That shit is retarded. Some people need a hard lesson in gym etiquette.

Had a group of high school kids, you know the one with 13 inch guns and rolled up tshirt sleeves. One in the group was a little bigger than the rest and had a decent physique for his age, but they left dumbbells EVERYWHERE, just scattered across the floor. And got up like they were about to leave. Now, my workout partner at the time an older guy in his 40’s who is 6’4 280 lbs lean. Big ass mother fucker, tell them to politely put up their dumbbells. The largest of the group tells him thats what people who work here are for and bows up to him. My good friend then tells him if he doesn’t, he is going to put his scrawny bitch ass through the dumbbell rack for being an inconsiderate prick. He moved quickly and put up the weights.

[quote]A-rod wrote:
Tell me about it man. All joking aside this kid is in there 4-5 times a week doing the most retarded shit. He works out late when I am there and there is a hardcore group of dedicated guys who work out the same time and every single one of us has tried to help him to no avail. Hence he was dubbed plate’o’saurus rex. I have never seen a 100 lb plate in any commercial gym ever.

[/quote]

The old place I went to had 2 100 lbs plates by the leg press. That is the only time I’ve seen those in person lol

[quote]Highjumper wrote:

[quote]A-rod wrote:
Tell me about it man. All joking aside this kid is in there 4-5 times a week doing the most retarded shit. He works out late when I am there and there is a hardcore group of dedicated guys who work out the same time and every single one of us has tried to help him to no avail. Hence he was dubbed plate’o’saurus rex. I have never seen a 100 lb plate in any commercial gym ever.

[/quote]

The old place I went to had 2 100 lbs plates by the leg press. That is the only time I’ve seen those in person lol[/quote]
50kg plates mayne

[quote]MAK40 wrote:
I workout in my college gym which is filled with frat dudes wearing tanks (some cut all the way down the side to reveal non-existant lats). My partner and I are usually the only two wearing shirts with sleeves. The amount of ego in that gym is retarded. The stuff I see is hilarious, to the point of laughing (quarter squats, flexing in the mirror, half ROM benching, wearing straps to deadlift 135, etc). Although, it probably doesn’t help that all the cardio machines (used only by girls) are up on the second floor and look down on the weight room…

I was repping 405 on my DL’s the other day at the end of my back workout, and had some small wanna-be-trainer come up to me and tell me I was cheating because I was using straps. I asked him to put on the straps and try to pick up the bar. He then told me he wasn’t used to straps because “he doesn’t cheat” so he wouldn’t be able to lift it while wearing them, then proceeded to walk away with his arms flared out…only to correct someone else’s form across the gym. Good times. [/quote]

Haha this description sounds EXACTLY like my uni gym, including the cardio machines overlooking the weight room. Working out in a uni “fitness center” is an interesting experience. I love all the weird looks I get when I do exercises that are somewhat less common to normal gym-goers (e.g. face-pulls, good mornings). The copycats amuse me too. I do Pendlay-style rows in the fitness center fairly regularly, but I have NEVER seen anybody else do them until last week. The guy started doing them about 5min or so after I started. Coincidence? I think not. This is why I cloister myself away in the powerlifting gym. Until I get tired of hanging around dudes all the time lol.

But even the powerlifting gym isn’t without its weirdness. I was warming up for some heavy squats and this greasy-looking fuck steals my squat rack while I’m getting some water (unofficial rules in that room are that the racks are first come, first serve and yours until you’re damn well finished). He takes 1/2 of the weight plates off the bar and somehow still struggles to “lift” (which I say here because I’m still not sure whether he was trying to do 1/8 squats or some truly shitty 1/4 ROM good mornings) the weights. He then supersets with something else (I’m not sure what exactly) which involves attaching hooks to his feet and hanging upside down for a few min, suspended by the hooks. I’m more amused than pissed at this point, but I tell him that I wasn’t done with the squat rack.

This results in a very long (and very weird) conversation, where he gave me some cock-and-bull layman’s lecture on my own major (genetics) and had me watch an equally stupid video on the topic on his phone. He then got kicked out by the gym staff (who had had troubles with him before) as he wasn’t a student and didn’t pay for a membership. I’m just surprised I managed not to burst into laughter until after he got booted. Good times in the powerlifting gym.

LOL I like this thread. This story is kind of different then the other ones.

I lift at my university gym, and sadly I’m on of the more developed guys there. Last semester, there was this very small kid, like around 5’2" and just little skinny fat kid. Anyways he came up one day, asked what I did for my Squat (LOL I squat like mid-300’s for reps, but that’s a lot here) and we talked. He said he was just starting out, only could Squat 95 lbs for reps with good form, stuff like that. Really nice kid, obviously trying to do things right, wasn’t on a retarded program, just obviously a beginner. So we talked a few times, and I helped him in what ways I could, just telling him to eat, know it takes awhile, etc.

So there’s this other kid, who happens to be in some of my classes. He wears and EliteFTS hoodie, so I figured I’d try to talk to him. Well, he’s a douche. He moderately strong, but is the guy that dive bombs his squats to ATG and thinks anyone who doesn’t isn’t really lifting. Is the ‘straps are for pussies’ crowd, really has that ‘hardcore’ mentality that’s not only silly in this commercial gym, but also just dumb bro-shit. Like he talks shit to me that I do pulldowns sometimes (I do chins too, but for him it’s ONLY chins and rows for Back) or that I don’t touch my chest on Incline Presses. I’ve tried to tell him my goals are different, but he doesn’t get that I suppose. But really he’s cool with me, whatever.

Anyways, I’m lifting one day while both these guys are in there. I had seen newb in the Squat rack OHP’ing the bar and seen mega-douche at the lockers when I was coming in and gave him a head nod lol. Anyways, I go in and am doing something, when I see Mega Douche go over to Newb, and start kind of giving him shit. Newb had like 3 more sets, and Mega Douche wanted the Squat Rack.

Telling the kid that he shouldn’t be wearing glove they aren’t for men (Newb had torn like 3 callouses and said he got some gloves for right now lol), telling him he wasn’t using enough weight to have the rack, made some jokes about going to the Bitch Room (what most of us call this little room with like 8 lb weights, Swiss balls, and gymnast mats for girls mostly to just go work abs lol).

Basically I had to go over there and kind of tell Mega Douche to leave him alone, and that Newb was nice and had the makings to be a serious lifter. Well at this point Mega Douche starts telling the kid to ya know, never go arm iso work, that he needs to just throw 225 on the bar and ‘man up’ and Squat it (that’s probably a 2.5 BW squat for Newb) . LOL. Newb jut kind of nodded, and I asked Mega Douche to come spot me to get him away from Newb. lol. Later talked to Newb again, said he wasn’t phased but just could see why people would be scared to go to the gym initially, because he thought that’s how every day would be.

Regardless, my gym is so full with douchebags and retards the new kids just starting out have such a tough time. It sucks. Like it’s shit like that makes Planet Fitness appealing to newbies.

I had to do something in the evening so I went to a gym that I don’t normally go in the afternoon. A YMCA that has a lot of older people during lunch time.

I loaded the trap bar with 2 45’s (135#), then was just kind of warming up near it.

Guy comes up to me talking (I had to pop out my earbuds at this point) and tells me that I will not get the full benefit of the deadlift with the handles up like that.

I said “Oh. OK, thanks”, then kind of kept stretching.

He goes “The handles up are meant for when you have 25’s on each side, not 45’s”.

I said, “Oh, cool. OK, thanks for the info.”

He says (a little louder) “I think you should should turn the bar around so you get the full benefit of the deadlift”.

I said “Thanks, but I think you should not be offering unwanted advice regarding my training”.

He says “I don’t want any trouble”

I started laughing, said “Oh, no trouble, but I’m all set, OK? Thank you. I appreciate your concern.”

He says "I just thought… " by that time I had finally popped my earbuds back in and turned away.

LMFAO.

Later in the locker room, I heard him lecturing a guy who runs marathons on his choice of sneaker and running style. The runner (who I know) was kind of doing the same thing (“Yeah, OK, thanks. I’m all set…”) LOL

[quote]SteelyD wrote:
I had to do something in the evening so I went to a gym that I don’t normally go in the afternoon. A YMCA that has a lot of older people during lunch time.

I loaded the trap bar with 2 45’s (135#), then was just kind of warming up near it.

Guy comes up to me talking (I had to pop out my earbuds at this point) and tells me that I will not get the full benefit of the deadlift with the handles up like that.

I said “Oh. OK, thanks”, then kind of kept stretching.

He goes “The handles up are meant for when you have 25’s on each side, not 45’s”.

I said, “Oh, cool. OK, thanks for the info.”

He says (a little louder) “I think you should should turn the bar around so you get the full benefit of the deadlift”.

I said “Thanks, but I think you should not be offering unwanted advice regarding my training”.

He says “I don’t want any trouble”

I started laughing, said “Oh, no trouble, but I’m all set, OK? Thank you. I appreciate your concern.”

He says "I just thought… " by that time I had finally popped my earbuds back in and turned away.

LMFAO.

Later in the locker room, I heard him lecturing a guy who runs marathons on his choice of sneaker and running style. The runner (who I know) was kind of doing the same thing (“Yeah, OK, thanks. I’m all set…”) LOL[/quote]
Uh dude you just do not know when you are being hit on do you?

He so wanted your Italian sausage

Nice job Spidey!

It’s funny how the real douche bags in the gym are the ones who are mediocre, whereas the real strong and big mofos are the most humble and helpful people in the gym.

Some douche bag in my gym once threw a hundred pound dumbbell after doing some overhead dumbbell extension. The biggest guy in my gym saw it and flipped out on him. 5 minutes later I asked the big guy for advice on squatting and he was very helpful.

I once saw a dude deadlifting with the smith machine, and then he did power cleans with zero (no exageration) hip flexion. Basically, he was doing explosive reverse curls and then resting the bar on his collarbone. So I tried to give him some advice, and he looked at me like I was King Douche of Douche Mountain. I have never and will never give unsolicted advice in the gym again. Whether they are experts or clueless, no one wants to be lectured at the gym, and my lesson was learned that day.

One time I was doing explosive reverse curls and this guy comes up and tries to lecture me about power cleans. I’m like WTF dude?