[quote]Vegita wrote:
[quote]Squiggles wrote:
And this is how the zombie apocalypse is going to happen. Though we live in a nation where food is in excess abundance, anyone can grow delicious veggies in their flower beds, and healthy is only one “I’ll buy a bag of salad instead of chips” decision away, people will start digging up the dead in secret, at night, feasting on their flesh to get the secret of their life.
Diseases, funky and unknown to science, will manifest in their flesh. Mad Human Disease + some bastardized for of Taxoplasma gondii that has evolved in long-sealed tombs to infected human spinal cords will merge together to form both a reanimation virus AND a rage virus, infecting humans as they consume the flesh of corpses, killing them, then bringing them back to life.
We could stop the apocalypse only if humans had willpower, if they could look at that source of food and consciously decide, “That’s bad for me. I’m going to eat it.” But we all know that will never happen, they sob as they stuff cold gray human flesh down their throat.
The only saving grace? Half the zombies will be fat, their knees will decay before their rotund middle, and their legs will not be able to support them. They will literally become land whales, scooting down the road on their belly, head lifting occasionally to let out a long, low cry.
We will survive and restart the human race, and all future generations will know that both human flesh and trans fats are evil. Humanity must survive.
loads AK-47, salutes flag, hides out in bunker and waits[/quote]
Great post. When this goes down you wana start a zombie soccer league? We use the round zombies as the ball.
V[/quote]
My post-apocalyptic recreational activities are mostly going to involve firecrackers and zombie buttholes, but soccer sounds fun, too…