T Nation

Painful Pooping


So today I learned firsthand the benifits of getting enough fiber.

I had to go see a doctor because my asshole kept hurting, especially after my bowel movement yesterday (I can already hear the gay jokes headed my way lol)

Doctor tells me I had a small tear in the vicinity of my rectum from pooping too big of a shit. He told me to get some Ex-Lax to soften my poop so that the tear can heal.

Unfortunatly, the ex lax cannot soften the turd I've been too scared to pass all day.

This was the first time I've cried from physical, bodily pain in many years. I broke a sweat I was in so much pain!

So, yeah....if I had eaten more fiber my poop probably wouldn't have resembled cinder blocks and I probably would have ripped my ass.


Are you sure it's not from excessive anal sex?


hahahaha you know how i know you're ghey? Cause you cried tears of joy from a giant ass tearing poop.


I was so gonna ask that.
Metamucil, that stuff is the shit.


hahaha "the shit".... pun


Is Loblaws in Quebec? I use to buy Metamucil but they sell Pysillium Husk Fibre in bulk at Loblaws and now I'm saving a shitload!


lol I only wish they were tears of joy! Seriously though, this is the first time I've ever looked forward to having diarrhea.


Dude, this belongs in SAMA...


Quote of the year


Dood the dria is gonna burn your ripped asshole


No shit?


Here's what I would do:

1) Go to a public restroom, where there are metal dividers between the stalls. You want to be between two metal dividers, not next to a wall.

2) Sit down, prepare for battle. Maybe take off your belt and bite down on it, if you've got expensive dental work.

3) When the shit goes down (har!) start pushing on the walls, hard. As you cramp out your demon shit, you will naturally to push harder, and very likely begin to yell, involuntarily. By the time you get that fucker out, you may have broken one of the walls. You would be surprised at the scary wild animal strength you can muster when you're trying to shit out a watermelon.

4) Post-workout shake.

If you do manage to break a wall, you can at least take solace in that for the next couple days while you're checking the TP for blood.


Next time (assuming you're dumb enough to have a next time), go to Walmart and get a bottle of glycerin for $5. Shoot a syringe full of that up there and hold it for as long as you humanly can.

The combination of the lubricating power of glycerin and the fact that it is an irritant that makes your ass try to spit out anything it can, you'll end up launching a turd torpedo whether you want to or not.

I speak from experience.


yeah but the idea is to poop a shitload, not save it. that's what caused the OP all these problems, or it was the butt secks, IDK.


aren't we still waiting for pics of you and your shoe in your last pseudo-gay thread?

Hows the diet?


Come on Hallowed you should know by now how those sort of things end up. An OP with a torn bleeding asshole and no shoe pictures to be found


I literally cannot stop laughing...



Dude! And you had to make a topic out of it? I would have taken that to the grave.


Seriously though I've had this...but not to the point of ripping my rectum (damn near killed 'im!)

Maybe it's the food I sometimes eat here in Taiwan but I'll have some good bowel days, some really fluid days and some cinder block days too.

That's all I have to say.


if ure eating a ton of protein (as i assume we all are) be sure to eat your share of veggies... srs...

this thread reminds me of the first time i started taking protein shakes... less cinder block-esque more like a telephone pole...