So I’m in a pretty frustrating situation. To give you a bit of background, for almost my entire life (until recently) I’ve played hockey at an extremely high level. And hockey is a sport that absolutely torches your lower body. So “Hockey butt” is a very common feature on players as a result.
Unlucky for me, I seem to have insulted the glute gods in a past life, cause even for a player my ass grew absolutely fucking huge. It looks comical, honestly. Never fully realized understood how out of proportion it was until I stopped playing entirely (on teams I was known for a big ass, don’t get me wrong, but it was never a big thing cause everyone else had junk in their trunk too, haha). Well, joke’s on me, cause now I’m in the real world, surrounded by Hank Hill asses, and I’m CONSTANTLY aware of how ridiculous my butt looks (at least, that was the case till self-isolation hit lol).
And it fucking sucks — I’ve become so self-conscious about it. I get that glutes are great and flat asses look like shit, so please don’t give me that. The problem is that my backside is too big. It’s caused so many fucking problems I haven’t even bothered to mention.
My question is whether there’s anything I can do to bring it down to a more manageable size. My posture’s great, and I’m pretty lean fat-wise, so the issue here is definitely just the volume of muscle in glute region.
This is (probably?) a stupid question, so apologies in advance. I just need advice/tips on dealing with this