T Nation

Ouch


#1

Tonight I found out that the girl I've been on and off with (mostly on, currently on)for the past 3 years has been sleeping with a bunch of guys I hang out with from time to time. Fucking awesome. The worst thing is that I had no idea what was going on. Oh well, you live you learn. Shoot me.


#2

Not much to learn from this. The only thing I can think of are some (maybe even obvious for an uninvolved bystander?) hints of what was going on you may have missed and probably won't miss in the future.

Try seeing it this way: This stuff has been going on for some time judging by your post. From now on, at least, you won't be wasting any more time and energy with the girl and those "guys you have been hanging out with" (and hopefully won't be hanging out with anymore).


#3

Thats fucking unfortunate man, but at least you can now ask the guys you hang out with "how does my dick taste?".


#4

One night after work sitting around drinking with friends, the topic of cheating came up. The question was would you sleep with a married woman. Surpisingly, most of the guys said, "Hell yeah." The woman being married was of no concern to them.

I've got no respect for those guys. Although it would be a difficult conversation, and you might not have belived it, at first, someone should have told you. I don't think these guys are your friends.


#5

exactly what do you mean by " on and off" ?

were you "on" or "off" when she was ?

did everyone know but you, more specific: did the other guys know about each other and conspire to x you from the loop?


#6

Hindsight is 20/20. Look at how that happened and don't do it again.
On the bright side- At least you know who the buddyfuckers are now.


#7

When I said I hang out with these guys, I meant occasionally at bars and parties. We used to all be in the same circle, but things change when you grow up. I doubt they were trying to screw me over. I'm not really mad at them.

She's the one to blame. She knew exactly what was going on. I think this has been going on for the past two months, but I'm not really sure of that now.

Yes, Hindsight is 20/20. It's all too clear now. Sometimes your judgement is clouded by feelings. I don't think there was anything I could do to prevent this besides not dating her.

She's a skank and that's all there is to it. There are issues with her I'm sure. You can't just sleep with a circle of friends and there not be something wrong with you.

What bothers me the most is that I didn't see it coming. I feel like such a sucker, and my pride and honour have been compromised. On the bright side, I had things that I wanted to do but I was on the fence because I wanted to be with her (Joining the Army is one of them).

This might be one of the better things to happen to me though. I have nothing holding me back from that now, and I probably needed something to pull me away from her. I had my doubts with her, but I was willing to try and make it work. Now I realize that I shouldn't have to try and make it work, if it's good it should work all on it's own.

She doesn't know that I know yet, so this could be interesting...

Any thoughts on what should be said? I was thinking of just telling her that I know, that I'm disgusted, and to never speak to me again.

Also, one of the guys that she railed has a girlfriend. This girlfriend of his is best friend's with The Skank. Do I drop the ball? Right now I want to. She's a really nice girl and deserves better.

But on the other hand, I don't know if it has to be said. I know I'm glad I found out that I was getting fucked over though...


#8

Mate, you won't get anything back by harming her in anyways. Simply let her know that you know what happened and that you are moving on.

She probably still loves you in someway despite what she did, don't do your best to hurt her.

This may seem hard at the moment but reflect if you did anything wrong as well. Take this as a learning opportunity.


#9

Get some proof and make an elaborate scene, that's what I always say...


#10

Chicks like this are where the expression "Just shove it in her ass" came from.

I say join the Army, get away from her, and then make an anonymous call, email, or letter to your "friend's" g/f
and drop the bomb on her.

Most guys today suck, I listen all day to guys talking about cheating on their wives/girlfriends etc and it makes me sick. I never have and never will.


#11

Funny how guys can sleep around and it's cool, but a chick does it and she's a skank. I'd be pretty pissed if it happened to me, too though.

Were you open with her about what you thought the relationship was or wasn't? For all she knew, you might have just been f**k buddies or FWB. Not trying to defend her, just throwing out other options.

Walk a mile in the other persons shoes and all that. But if she was screwing her best friend's dude behind her back, then you're probably right in your assumption of her being a skank.

I agree with what was said about not trying to get her back, though. Be the bigger person and just cut away.


#12

I agree with you. However, I wasn't sleeping around with anyone.

We weren't fuck buddies or FWB. It was supposed to be monogamous. She said she would only be with me. In fact, she asked me if I would sleep with someone, and as a joke I said "You bet". She laughed but said if I did it would be over and she would kill me.

Assumption of her being a skank? I don't have to assume that one hahaha.

I am going to just cut away. I was just told by a friend that she may not have slept with her friend's boyfriend, but it's highly possible. I really just don't want anything to do with this girl or anything she is involved in.


#13

The guys could also ask him the same question by the sounds of the situation.