Quick update to laugh/cry at.
I received a letter through the post from my local doctors surgery.
It informed me that while they agree that BP, Chol and sex hormones will (not can) be negatively affected by steroid use, they will not be testing my blood as they do not agree with the use of steroids for any purpose other than when prescribed by one of their (incompetent and ignorant) doctors.
Not only that, but they TOLD me to stop using the steroids in an official letter, and also had the audacity to suggest that they felt my attitude was aggressive in its nature which is also a well known effect of the drugs and to cease immediately!
I was gobsmacked!
This nurse or doctor was in no way threatened by me, maybe embarassed that she knew little about the drugs and freely admitted that most doctors and nurses were as ignorant. I didn’t raise my voice (god forbid) or even hold a gaze (i never do with passive strangers in case they feel threatened!). I was humble but direct in my needs. It confused the hell out of me.
I get that alot actually, hence my reluctance to admit i use AAS (as if people can’t tell immediately anyway) as people assume ‘roid rage’ is lurking around every corner.
The truth is when i was 160lbs and lean and fit, when i was arguing a point or getting hot under the collar, no-one batted an eyelid. And 9 times of 10 it is harmless debate. I have Mediterranean blood is all i can attribute it to.
Now i am 210 and have a certain (apparently) intimidating presence, if i begin to get in the slightest bit worked up about some bullshit procedure, rumour, TV show… whatever, i get all sorts of accusations… with women and children running screaming from the vicinity! (OK, that has never happened, but so many people make me feel like that is what is next if i show a little passion about a topic!)
My mother on one hand tells me that my eyes are too dark, and that my gaze is unnerving (it is funny as inside my head is quite a different story) and i should begin to change the way i interact as my size grows… because plain and simply regular people are terribly unnerved by a muscular man.
On the other hand when she has some road rager shout obscenities at her, she admits wishing i was there!
Now i won’t be stopping BB because so many people are so damn pussified they think that anyone with larger muscles is going to beat on them at any given moment - but it is really offending when people you know and love seem to all of a sudden think you are going to be violent towards them, when there has never been a reason to believe that.
I am also hesitant to change my ways/personality/mannerisms just for other peoples insecurity, but i will admit i am starting to feel alienated by this somewhat. It is pretty shit.
I am definitely going to try to chill a little, as although i know that when i get aggravated that there is very rarely a violent intention (and when there is it is clear), others seem to struggle to be able to tell that…
JJ