T Nation


For those of you who cannot get into Canada right way, I bring you…


Ladies and gentlemen,
drop your borders
Now that George W. Bush has been officially elected, single, sexy, American liberals - already a threatened species - will be desperate to escape.
These lonely, afraid (did we mention really hot?) progressives will need a safe haven.
You can help. Open your heart, and your home. Marry an American. Legions of Canadians have already pledged to sacrifice their singlehood to save our southern neighbours from four more years of cowboy conservatism.

I’m surprised they need to do this. After all, doesn’t everyone know we’re a fascist state now? I mean, the rest of the world knows all our rights were repealed on November 2.

They should be able to get political asylum, or maybe religious asylum, because I heard Bush was going to bring back burning witches at the stake, and anyone who didn’t bring his Bible to school was going to be declared a witch…