I rarely post, but this is kinda urgent. The ol’ lady is coming around within the next 2 weeks and basically I need to know what you guys do, dont do, or take, or dont take to stop farting.
I eat about 2 lbs of vegetables a day, and on top of that I eat a LOT of egg-whites. I assume this is what leads up to my issues, and Ive tried Beano, and its suckso.
What have you guys used with success? Obviously when shes around Im not gonna be eating all those vegetables, that would just be stupid.[/quote]
Milk does it for me. STINK!!! Holy mother of Christ. And non-stop, one after the other. Protiend shakes also don’t agree with me. The more natural I keep it the better, veggies, meat, fruit, rice, eggs…that’s about it.
The best solution is to just shit it all out. Then, go on a low cal. diet for while she is around.
Funny stuff. Egg whites get me too.
Here’s how to handle it. Just let it go man and say “Don’t judge me!” immediatly after it happens. Then just stare at each other for awhile. During the hieght of the akward moment just pick where you left off with whatever you were doing.
It will completely take her by suprise, but you can’t laugh and have to do this same routine every time you fart.
The best solution is to just shit it all out. Then, go on a low cal. diet for while she is around.[/quote]
I used to fart all the time from taking protein shakes and eating lots of egg whites, I think my body has just adapted now to that diet,
Trying to stop farting is like trying to be someone you’re not. It’s a part of you that she’ll just have to accept. I say you rip a loud one in mid-conversation when it’s just you and her… if she laughs, she’s definitely a keeper.
I’m assuming that in addition to what your eating you probably eat a lot of it. In that case nolecat has the best advice. Reduce your quantity. You could try to eat less foods that are more calorie dense and further break up the meals to create much smaller portions each meal.
Honestly, give your bowels a break and they’ll give you and your lady a break. Anytime I go on any type of bulking diet I get friggin toxic. Also milk and or lots of other dairy will double me over in pain. I’ve tried all the OTC gas stuff and think ultra strength phazyme helps the most.
If you really want to completely eliminate the gas (this goes against common wisdom around here) You can do a one or two day fast then start back real light. In the big picture this isn’t going to kill your goals.
Another thing comes to mind. Are you eating any nutrition bars with sugar alcohols like sorbitol, malitol, etc.? That stuff can really cause foul stench.
It’s almost embarrasing that I can sympathize with you but it doesn’t seem too uncommon in these circles. Hope that helps.
Just don’t sit down to a big heaping helping of yogurt, spinache, broccoli onions and cabbage. That might just make the whole place go kablooie!
thanks everyone, holmdog in particular. Im probably gonna give that maximum strength Phazyte or whatever it was called a shot. And for the most part Im usually alright, its just that I may have a problem with all my vegtables. The good news is that I can certainly drop those when shes around. I’ll give that a shot, and try some OTC stuff if I absolutely have to.
Thanks again guys!
And no, I dont really ever eat anything with sugar alcohols, and I rarely eat health bars.
This is the most discgusting example of commoner-speak that i have ever witnessed!
Get off the creatine! No.1 offender in my book.
my experience has been when you stock your gut well w/ desireable flora then the issue of farting lessens as digestion becomes more effiecient.
seriously go to the store and get some probiotic w/like 5 billion cells per cap and as many diffenerent types of flora as you can find and take a couple a couple times a day. you will fart alot more for a while and some stinky grey stools will come out of your ass, but it will subside.
also add anything and everything probiotic into your diet. cultured cottage cheese, yogurt, anything naturally pickled so it has live active cells(i.e. not “pickled”
w/ vinegar). personally i eat a ton of naturally fermented kim-chi or sauerkraut whenever i eat meat, which is all the time, and i hardly ever fart…which is kinda too bad in a way ’ cause i really do miss a really good rip sometimes…
anyway clean your gut out and keep it stocked and you’ll digest everything you eat a lot better.
the guy at this link sells stuff but i still think he has pretty good info anyway :
Trying to stop farting is like trying to be someone you’re not. It’s a part of you that she’ll just have to accept. I say you rip a loud one in mid-conversation when it’s just you and her… if she laughs, she’s definitely a keeper.[/quote]
My girl stopped laughing after a while. They are too powerful and leave a rancid, long-lasting stench that follows me everywhere. Just like Pig Pen in the Peanuts gang with Charlie Brown.
I’d just buy her a surgical mask. If she asks why you want her to wear it say it’s b/c you want her to “play doctor” with you later.
The sexiest thing a woman can do for a man is to LOVE HIS GAS!
Try papaya enzyme tablets. They help silence my ass canon when I have my AD carb up.
Udo’s Choice Digestive Enzymes and Probiotics have helped me tremendously. I also used to have pretty bad gas from frequent meals, lactose intolerance, etc. Those two supps along with lactaid have me good to go.
[quote]Nate Dogg wrote:
My girl stopped laughing after a while.
That will happen.
try taking full spectrum digestive enzymes - works better than beano.