Listen to this man. Bench setup should be massively uncomfortable in terms of how much tension every part of you is under. Since I've tightened up my bench has gotten much better. I feel happier benching than ever.
A good way I've heard it described is when you set up right you barely even feel the bar, the tension just moves it.
Push your traps hard into the bench and push your chest up, arching your upper back. Use the bar to push yourself into the bench. Push your heels down to created tension in your legs: your quads should feel like you're squatting. For me, I try to get my feet directly under my butt, but then my fed allows heels up benching. Pull the bar apart and squeeze the hell out of it. After a while, the discomfort will just be something that tells you you've set up properly.