They get a chance to basically screen you before getting to meet you. So while a guy can lie behind the safety of his computer… is it really all that different from a guy lying in a bar? I always thought that distinction was kind of funny. People seem to believe they are much better judges of character “in the flesh” than they likely are… especially after a couple of cocktails in a dimly lit bar.
Well, it depends on what they’re screening for.
I think most people assume that women are screening for personality… I don’t think they are. Sure, they want to make sure you’re not a psycho, and that you can string together a coherent sentence. But then when you meet (and this is what drives me crazy), you can be exactly the same guy, personality-wise, as you were online, and it doesn’t matter. They are, at that stage, screening for looks.
At which point I’ve wasted hours talking to this girl online, probably an hour to drive wherever the hell is mutually convenient to meet, and just so I can get a handshake and a “it was nice to meet you.”
So that’s the advantage of the bar situation; not only does she get to make that evaluation upfront, she might also be a little tipsy as well, and as such have impaired judgement. Yay alcohol![/quote]
My assumption in the screening was not just about personality, but looks too. I think most girls would want to see a bunch of “regular” (i.e. non-professional or fake) photos before they decide to meet you. In the end, I think that when you meet up in person, it does take on a totally different dimension that cannot be duplicated via chatting, e-mails and phone conversations over a week or two.
But I never thought of it as a waste of time, really. I definitely found my success percentages of finding a cool woman were better via on-line than otherwise.
You have a good point on alcohol… the great social lubricant.