I met a girl off myspace. We dated, had sex once, and then we just kind of stoped talking to eachother. She was kind of boring, but I guess I'm not going to bash the whole online dating thing. If you are in a larger city I say go for it, what have you got to lose?
This wouldn't surprise me at all. Out of curiosity I once logged onto one of those adult dating service thingies. You can't send or read messages sent to you, but you do know who sent them. I have put my e-mail on my profile and although I have received many messages, I have not gotten a single e-mail. Match.com is prolly a little less shady than these, but still like I said it wouldn't surprise me at all. Never trust anything you got from the internet.
I don't know anything about "online dating", but have you ever wondered about the T-Nation love connections?
All it takes is one witty post, maybe an inspiring picture, or a post that hits the right nerve.
I mean, where better to find a like minded person who chooses Tabata method over triceps kickbacks, chicken over chocolate, and musings of PhD wit over Muscle and Fitness.
But who knows... Between training, academics, family, friends, personal time and sports...It's important to be thoughtful about who gets the best of your caloric expenditure, T-man status notwithstanding.
I've used online dating to a good degree of success. Met some very nice girls and had several girlfriends out of it as well. Was lucky enough to never meet anyone psychotic (well, at least not overly psychotic). Even met the girl of my dreams that way, so I guess I think it can work pretty darn well.
What's so interesting about that article is that while I have never had the experience of one of the girls turning out to be a Match.com employee (been with my girlfriend for 3 1/2 years as of now, so if it is a recent thing, I cannot say), there are a lot of sketchy postings that simply cannot be real people. What I always found kind of weird is that you would see women in some of the photos and the pics looked suspiciously a little [i]too[/i] professional and contained a very generic personal statement. Like, all of them are "Hi, I'm just new to the area" (never saying anything about WHAT area that is) "and looking for someone fun to hang out with. I like to party blah blah blah" Then, when you see info about their ideal match, it's like an age range of 18 to 50 and a height range of 3' 11" to 7' tall. LOL Those are the postings that made me roll my eyes.
But at the same time, you could also be talking to a lot of different women at the same time since there is quite a bit of hit or miss going on. The funny thing about on-line dating is that for a lot of women, it can almost be a little bit more reassuring. They get a chance to basically screen you before getting to meet you. So while a guy can lie behind the safety of his computer... is it really all that different from a guy lying in a bar? I always thought that distinction was kind of funny. People seem to believe they are much better judges of character "in the flesh" than they likely are... especially after a couple of cocktails in a dimly lit bar.
I think most people assume that women are screening for personality... I don't think they are. Sure, they want to make sure you're not a psycho, and that you can string together a coherent sentence. But then when you meet (and this is what drives me crazy), you can be exactly the same guy, personality-wise, as you were online, and it doesn't matter. They are, at that stage, screening for looks.
At which point I've wasted hours talking to this girl online, probably an hour to drive wherever the hell is mutually convenient to meet, and just so I can get a handshake and a "it was nice to meet you."
So that's the advantage of the bar situation; not only does she get to make that evaluation upfront, she might also be a little tipsy as well, and as such have impaired judgement. Yay alcohol!
My assumption in the screening was not just about personality, but looks too. I think most girls would want to see a bunch of "regular" (i.e. non-professional or fake) photos before they decide to meet you. In the end, I think that when you meet up in person, it does take on a totally different dimension that cannot be duplicated via chatting, e-mails and phone conversations over a week or two.
But I never thought of it as a waste of time, really. I definitely found my success percentages of finding a cool woman were better via on-line than otherwise.
You have a good point on alcohol... the great social lubricant.
Or it could be that it isn't as easy for other people as it is for you. Or a little of both. I don't know.
I will say that I do, at least, have the talent of being optimistic and confident in the situation itself. I always get pessimistic the day before a job interview, for example. But I do well when I get there.
I'm sounding a little more morose than I feel, simply because I'm frustrated with guys that have no difficulty with women saying how easy it is. That's all. Just like I get frustrated with the "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" investors who tend to dismiss hard work and regular savings, or a guy in marketing who wants to know "what class he has to take" to be able to do "what I do." Things are rarely as easy as people think they are; they are much more rarely as easy as those with talent think they are.
I'm sure it's not as easy for other people as it is for me.
I also think that there are people that it comes easier to than it does for me.
Bottom line is you have to work with what you've got. But, I think that a lot of what you don't have, you can get. If you can talk, dance, cook, and fuck with some kind of expertise (or are smart enough to fake it) and you don't have a wardrobe that looks like you stole it from "Saved by the Bell", I think you have a fair chance with any woman.
Yes, you might have to work harder than those guys that "naturally" attract women, but I think that the work would be worth it.