T Nation

One Hundred People Versus a Bear?

#1

A slightly bigger than normal, angry, adult, male grizzly. Wherever the grizzlies naturally live, except it's only the size of a football field. The people can be whoever you want, but no weapons. They have to fight this bear with their own selves. They may use the torn limbs of fallen friends as weapons against the bear.

I think you could get like ninety of them to surround the bear, then scare and confuse it while the rest split up. From the group of ten, two could work on poking its eyes out and then climbing on it wrap their legs around its neck to choke it, while the last eight people, hold down its legs. Two per leg.

Well?

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#2

Hmmmm. Not sure about that - though is you do a search under lion midget and massacre you’ll see that thats been done! Think it was in Korea or Vietnam - the midget fighting league came off quite badly - they used to have 48 members i think - now, not so many.

Midgets are a rare commodity and should be kept on high shelves.

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#3

[quote]grew7 wrote:
A slightly bigger than normal, angry, adult, male grizzly. Wherever the grizzlies naturally live, except it’s only the size of a football field. The people can be whoever you want, but no weapons. They have to fight this bear with their own selves. They may use the torn limbs of fallen friends as weapons against the bear.

I think you could get like ninety of them to surround the bear, then scare and confuse it while the rest split up. From the group of ten, two could work on poking its eyes out and then climbing on it wrap their legs around its neck to choke it, while the last eight people, hold down its legs. Two per leg.

Well?[/quote]

That’s at least 500 lbs worth of grizzly bear. My money is on the bear.

90 men won’t surround him for long when he charges. As for climbing on his back or neck, you can be first–something those assigned the task best think long and hard about.

#4

I’d put my money on the bear as long as he didn’t eat and become satisfied.

If he stayed pissed off the guys are probably dead.

#5

davey crockett killed a bear when he was only three. If he or chuck norris were there, it would be cake.

#6

One hundered regular men? How about one Chuck Norris?

#7

Well, if 10 of them distracted the bear, while the other 90 started digging a hole with their hands, and covered it up with tree branches or something, they could then lead the bear into the trap, then…well, then…I guess they can’t use weapons, so maybe they kill a couple of the people for food, and wait until the bear dies of starvation while the other people live off the few dead.

Flawless plan.

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#8

I think the bear would be bulking for a couple of weeks, then when the people were all gone it would have to return to its normal diet of fish, nuts, berries, and assorted wild game and carion.

If Chuck Norris got involved, the bear would become impregnated, the offspring would be a prodigal beast, and a modern legend would be born. It would live high on a glacier and wisdom seekers would consult the beast, resulting in a new order of thought.
Or turned in to bear poop.

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#9

[quote]S-Lifter wrote:
grew7 wrote:
A slightly bigger than normal, angry, adult, male grizzly. Wherever the grizzlies naturally live, except it’s only the size of a football field. The people can be whoever you want, but no weapons. They have to fight this bear with their own selves. They may use the torn limbs of fallen friends as weapons against the bear.

I think you could get like ninety of them to surround the bear, then scare and confuse it while the rest split up. From the group of ten, two could work on poking its eyes out and then climbing on it wrap their legs around its neck to choke it, while the last eight people, hold down its legs. Two per leg.

Well?

That’s at least 500 lbs worth of grizzly bear. My money is on the bear.

90 men won’t surround him for long when he charges. As for climbing on his back or neck, you can be first–something those assigned the task best think long and hard about.

[/quote]

We’ll go with the biggest of them, one that is around 1,500lbs.

Now… Why would the bear charge? Ninety people surrounding and him and flailing their arms loudly will scare it. Don’t animals stand still when they’re afraid? Like how dogs just sit in the middle of a road looking at the headlights of a car before getting hit.

#10

Nope. Worst time to be near any animal is when it is scared,injured, or cornered. Even a raccoon will tear your shit up when it is scared or injured.
Now apply that to an animal that is about one thousand times larger.

Not good.

#11

That’s 1,500lbs of bear versus 15,000lbs of human at the very least. You can’t honestly believe that the humans couldn’t do something to this bear. What if we took some extra from the crowd to actually grab the bear and pick it up? Fifteen of them. Each one can lift 100lbs. Now the bear is in the air and has no control.

#12

[quote]grew7 wrote:
That’s 1,500lbs of bear versus 15,000lbs of human at the very least. You can’t honestly believe that the humans couldn’t do something to this bear. What if we took some extra from the crowd to actually grab the bear and pick it up? Fifteen of them. Each one can lift 100lbs. Now the bear is in the air and has no control.[/quote]

you’ve never been kicked in the face by a crowd surfer? More importantly, the bear would let them pick him up?

#13

I think that the bear would probably tire out by the time it got through killing about 60 people, with a crowd of 40 others still beating it with fists and gouging at its eyes.

I think the humans would probably win in the end, but there would probably only be about 15 of them left.

#14

We feed the bear one human, wait till it sleeps satisfied and then start to get serious.

Sounds harsh, but is probably efficient.

#15

[quote]hockechamp14 wrote:
grew7 wrote:
That’s 1,500lbs of bear versus 15,000lbs of human at the very least. You can’t honestly believe that the humans couldn’t do something to this bear. What if we took some extra from the crowd to actually grab the bear and pick it up? Fifteen of them. Each one can lift 100lbs. Now the bear is in the air and has no control.

you’ve never been kicked in the face by a crowd surfer? More importantly, the bear would let them pick him up?[/quote]

The bear doesn’t have a choice. Imagine those fifteen people grabbing and lifting you. It doesn’t matter how much you object, they’re going to pick you up.

#16

[quote]Bauer97 wrote:
I think that the bear would probably tire out by the time it got through killing about 60 people, with a crowd of 40 others still beating it with fists and gouging at its eyes.

I think the humans would probably win in the end, but there would probably only be about 15 of them left.
[/quote]

I think the bear would tire out sooner, at least enough to put it on the defensive. The implied unnatural environment for this contest scews things though. If this were in a natural environment then only a few people- the over enthusiastic and over confident- would have to take one for the team while others found branches or rocks.

#17

The title of this thread makes me laugh.

Anyway, the difficult part would be to convince the first group to attack. Those people are definitely getting maimed, maybe even killed. The bear will eventually tire, although I’d still be really reluctant to try to fight a tired bear. It still has claws and it doesn’t take all that much energy to swing one paw at me and ruin my shit. Keep in mind that bears generally fight on their hind legs, making an above-average sized male grizzly between 6.5 and 7 feet tall.

Another interesting one would involve an above-average sized mother and her pups on the opposite side of the cage from her.

#18

I imagine it would be likg being attacked by 100 Four year olds. The little bastards would get pounded for a while but then they just keep dragging your down and diving on you. After you kill 60 kids you get tired, trust me I know. The litle crotch hittin eye poking shits just keep on comin.

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#19

This thread makes me laugh. My friends and I used to make up scenarios like this all the time and debate about who would win.

Example: 3 mongooses, a pitbull, and a rhino against 2 lions and a potbelly pig?

#20

[quote]Shaved wrote:
I imagine it would be likg being attacked by 100 Four year olds. The little bastards would get pounded for a while but then they just keep dragging your down and diving on you. After you kill 60 kids you get tired, trust me I know. The litle crotch hittin eye poking shits just keep on comin.[/quote]

Great analogy.