T Nation

On Fire - No Excuses Left

Note: I am dedicating this log to Chris Shugart. For being an inspiration both with his transformation and his articles. Even when he did not reply to my PM asking for help. I do not blame you Chris…this is my problem, a self created one. I actually want to thank you for not helping me.

Starting Weight 11/23/09: 289.8
Current Weight 12/27/09: 277.8
Difference: -12lbs
%fat change: -4%
LBM change: -0.92lbs

I am killing myself.

The realization that I am killing myself just dawned on me. Since fifth grade I have had some extra pounds, I am 28.5 now, so I can safely say that most of my memories are of me being overweight.

Its being a while since I have visited the site. I came across the Physique Clinic articles and read about bartl and novagreg’s adventures. It was interesting seeing them change, especially Bartl his change was phenomenal.

I was hooked, I spend 6 hours reading their posts, cutting and pasting their workouts and nutrition so I can reverse engineer it and use it for my transformation.

Thib’s transformation article is still saved in my bookmarks.

I have been thinking a lot about Shugart’s article on the Psychology of Physical Rebirth. The thing is I do not experience emotional spikes. I am never to happy or sad, which also means I never get angry.

Shit has happened in my life, things that made me uncomfortable or vulnerable…I love the beach yet I never swim, being shirtless really bothers me. I went on a date with a really attractive girl and we were going to go to the Ferris Wheel only to realize that I do not fit in the safety bars so I could not be on the ride.

Things like that just become memories, they suck, but they have never fueled my spark.

I was checking my profile so I was curious to see my 18 posts…and I came across this post of mine written on 10/11/06 (a day after my birthday)

I am fat. This is not the girly type of fat, its not 5 pounds that I got to lose, I weigh 255 pounds and I am 5’10". What I am trying to do is change my lifestyle.

I have identified my sticking point to cooking. I can make myself go to the gym 5 times a week, but I eat like crap, which produces no body change, which in turn depresses me, which in turn takes my motivation away from working out.

I know its a problem, I keep restarting my work out and I keep messing up my meals. Today was my birthday, the only thing I did was hang out with my roommate…and ate a lot.

Tonight I am going to sleep and tomorrow I am going to get up and try to change my life forever. I am tired of being a loser, I always come last in everything I do. My IQ is 150, classified under super genius, yet I have problems with the way I eat. Its pathetic.

I am getting sidetracked, what I am trying to say is my life sucks, and I know its my fault. Becoming 27 today made me realize that I keep getting older and hide behind excuses.

What pretty much all of you said was, suck it up, if that is what you want to do you should be able to do it, just plan a little and spend some time cooking.

And that is exactly what my plan is going to be.

  • Niko

Sounded pretty convincing right?

…so now I am 28.5, one and a half years later I weight 275…well that is just a guess I am afraid to get on the scale. Maybe I am 280 or more who knows.

And this realization was my click. What has fueled me today. I am getting fatter and fatter soon I will be more than 100 pounds overweight, if I am not already.

I can either give up and become one of those freaks that lie on a bed unable to move or I can do something about it.

I am doing something about it.

This is it.

Sounded pretty convincing right?

Now I am 30, I hit 288 pounds. Something is severely different though. I am fucking pissed off. I will spare the casual reader of more of my drama…

All that matters is that now I am taking action. I have read so much about nutrition, supplementation and fitness I could write books about it. Has it helped me any? It helped great while I was eating my brownie sundaes.

Screw that.

Instead of reading for hours I have started acting actually implementing what I am reading instead of saving it for the special day I will finally start my diet…you know April 1st, a good month, after the holidays, on my birthday…but wait January 1st…Monday. Enough is enough.

Thanksgiving week I lost 6 pounds. This week (with Monday being day 1 or the week) I have already lost 3 pounds. What? What changed?

Action…that’s it. Monday morning it was raining, but I had promised myself to go for a walk. I just used my umbrella. Take that rain. I walked to work Monday till today, 3 days straight, sure nothing to brag about but I am increasing my NEPA, eating right, working out.

I am ready for my change. This is going to happen.

So why do I believe that I am going to make it?

Two reasons.

  1. For the first time in my life I am angry at my weight. Borderline furious. It was a bunch of things that happened all together:
    a) I asked one of my friends for some advice to lose weight, he told me to read Chris Shugart’s Blog…I laughed…I have been coming to this site for more than 4 years now…then again I have gained 40 pounds the last 4 years
    b) I was on the plane coming back from visiting my 6 month year old daughter and realized I was the fattest person on the plane
    c) I was reading http://www.tmuscle.com/free_online_article/sex_news_sports_funny_grok/3_head_games&cr= it talked about tasting your food. I was actually eating my broccoli and beef stir fry while reading. I stopped reading and enjoyed my meal. I even caught myself closing my eyes to fully experience how my food tasted. This is HUGE, its a sign that I am moving from a “I want to do this” to “I am doing this”.

Having said that I now realize even if there is the perfect super uber training and nutrition program out there if I had just started eating better and went to the gym 3 times a week for the last four years I can pretty much guarantee that I would not be 279.8lbs right now. Nope instead I kept putting it off while eating like shit only to try going on a diet for two days, fail miserably and eat more.

Fuck that I say.

Meal Plan for today
black tea
4eggs, 1 cup celery, 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil, 4 flame out, multivitamin
4oz chicken, mixed green salad, 1 tbsp olive oil, 4 flame out
green tea
4oz beef, broccoli, 1 tbsp evoo

To come
3 scoups Grow Whey
3 scoups Metabolic Drive, 20g glutamine, 1 tbsp cream

Total
cal: 2,211
fat: 119.4g
carbs: 41.9g
prot: 226.1g

NEPA: Walked to work. Will walk back home (4.4 miles total)

ToDo:
Get Vitamin D, in D3 form preferably
Get Potassium, right now I am at 73% RDA since I am in low carb mode

I like this anger you have, it is a good lesson for me. Keep at it. The journey starts with the first step. I’m holding you accountable to make sure you’re succeeding.

I keep reading that setting goals is important. Problem was I had no clue what goal I should make. Losing weight is all about the scale going down in numbers? But how fast? What if my goal is too small and I start slacking off? What if my goal is too big and I fail it?

So I came up with the perfect solution (actually 2):

  1. I will continue to update this log for three months (ending 2/7/09)
  2. I will continue to focus on losing weight by being in a low carb diet and working out at least 4 times a week for three months (ending 2/7/09)

And since I am a good little reader and realize the importance of micro goals…

a1: Update this log for this week
a2: Update this log for two weeks
a3: Update this log for this month
a4: Update this log for January
a5: Update this log for February

Same applies to staying on diet/training

[quote]RumRiverCATO wrote:
I like this anger you have, it is a good lesson for me. Keep at it. The journey starts with the first step. I’m holding you accountable to make sure you’re succeeding.

[/quote]

That’s fine, check on me. Challenge me :slight_smile:

Today at work its a employee appreciation day which means free food, drinks and pumpkin pie. I was asked twice to join and I refused.

I went to the fridge to take out my tupperwear for my chicken salad lunch and started microwaving my chicken.

Here is was, a poppy seed roll. I love bread…I wanted it so bad.

I grabbed it, took a whiff of it and threw it in the trash. My microwave beeped. Food was ready.

Take that bread!


Sabotage…you know I was reading about Toxic people mentioned by Shugart, its a concept I have encountered before even read about. I always felt, no that’s not me, my friends are cool.

Yet sabotage does happen. This week alone I have been asked to go to a restaurant three times, asked to go downstairs twice, asked to go to McDonals and offered a fruit basket. Granted fruit, most people feel its healthy even though its not the most conductive when you are a grand fat ass.

Anyway, its happening to me. I do not think they are doing it on purpose. Three weeks ago I would have said yes to all the invites.

That’s the old me though…that me I am killing one vegetable at a time…one exercise at a time.

I hate day 4. This is when I usually eat something horrible…well if I last 4 days.

I want pot roast with french fries and baby baked potatoes from Mimi’s finished up apple pie…oh and bread as an appetizer.

Total fail.

I am eating beef and broccoli instead.

Things I have learned this week:

HOT-ROX is not for me. Maybe its because I tend to avoid coffee and energy drinks…or maybe its because I am a fatass…either way HOT-ROX makes me feel like I am going to have a heart attack while having a high fever. Oh well, no HOT-ROX for me.

4 eggs and celery are damn hard to eat. First of all it tastes horrible, second of all it gives me the runs, no idea why. I think I am going to do some research and figure out something similar macronutrient wise without the suck. Thibs recommended celery for its filling properties, but I get full enough that I can’t finish my omelet.

On other news I am finding myself researching the perfect workout like a dork. I need to stop that and commit into something. I am also in the process on buying some Flameout and supplements I am running out of. I am debating getting Power Drive because I am a bit light headed from the low carbs its my guess. In theory it should go away within 14 days…so would I really need it? Choices, choices.

And in case my few readers where wondering I did buy D3 and Pottassium/Magnesium. I am going with 4,000 IU D3 and 250mg Pot/Mag. That’s a lot of pills for breakfast.

Anyway I started writing cause I really needed crap food. I will be damned if I mess this up.

Meal Plan for today…is exactly like yesterday
chai tea
4eggs, 1 cup celery, 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil, 4 flame out, multivitamin
4oz chicken, mixed green salad, 1 tbsp olive oil, 4 flame out
chamomeel tea
4oz beef, broccoli, 1 tbsp evoo

To come
3 scoups Grow Whey
3 scoups Metabolic Drive, 20g glutamine, 1 tbsp cream

Total
cal: 2,211
fat: 119.4g
carbs: 41.9g
prot: 226.1g

NEPA: Walked to work. Will walk back home (4.4 miles total)

ToDo:
Check out cream vs peanut butter…I much rather eat PB

This is what frustrates me, reading things based on body weight. I am convinced that the system breaks on fatass levels.

So I am 279.8, lets say 280 according to this http://www.tmuscle.com/free_online_article/sports_body_training_performance/refined_physique_transformation 1.4g-1.6g of protein per pound.

280 * 1.4 = 392g protein
392 * 4 = 1568cal

Since my fat and protein should be close percentage wise:
1568 / 9 = 174g of fat

Fat is easy, another tbsp of olive oil will get me close. But 392g of protein…like seriously. That’s 47oz of chicken (393.8g)…which is 2.94lbs of chicken a day…ok so perhaps I am being unfair lets check out Metabolic Drive…it would be 19.5 servings (390)

Putting cost aside I don’t think I can eat 2.94lbs of chicken a day…or even 1.5lbs of chicken and 9 Metabolic Drive servings.

Two things can be happening here either calculating stuff for fatasses breaks or eating 3lbs of chicken should be a normal staple of my diet. I will go with numbers break on the large scale (no pun intended)

The question then becomes do I use the numbers for LBM?

I made a post about it in one of the Thib threads here http://tnation.tmuscle.com/free_online_forum/sports_body_training_performance_bodybuilding_thibaudeau/diet_questions_8?pageNo=7#3507321

Hopefully I will get an answer.

Maybe I should consider my mood as “grumpy”

Looks like he said to use your best judgment and eat a lesser amount. I wouldn’t sweat it too much, so long as you get plenty from clean sources throughout the day. The devil really is in the details sometimes. Action is usually better than overthinking it.

He is also mentoring people who ideally train extremely hard in bodybuilding/other sport. You didn’t seem to mention what your PT plan is. Perhaps I missed it.

I want to say that the “eat x grams of protein for every lb of body weight” is really “eat x grams of protein for every lb of LEAN BODY MASS”. For most people with low body fat, these recommendations are roughly the same. But for someone with more to lose, I think you would probably be ok with the latter recommendation. You may want to read more on this though, as I’m not entirely sure, but it makes sense in my head.

Didnt have time to read your entire log yet, just skimmed it…will check back later…sounds like you have the drive to get rid of that body fat…I was in much the same situation as you were, did a VDiet last March after letting my health go for 5 years with overeating, boozing, and not training. Lost a good amount of weight and started hitting the weights hard after that with a strength training routine (starting strength followed by 5-3-1) and am back up to my original starting weight, with about 10% less Bodyfat!

Put in the work and the results will come…

[quote]VTBalla34 wrote:
I was in much the same situation as you were, did a VDiet last March after letting my health go for 5 years with overeating, boozing, and not training. Lost a good amount of weight and started hitting the weights hard after that with a strength training routine (starting strength followed by 5-3-1) and am back up to my original starting weight, with about 10% less Bodyfat!

Put in the work and the results will come…[/quote]

Thanks, its always inspiring to read / hear of others people that went through the same stuff I am dealing with and made it.

And you where right, starting with LBM is the best option. Thibs said the same thing. It makes sense otherwise I would have to eat a cow a day.

[quote]RumRiverCATO wrote:
Looks like he said to use your best judgment and eat a lesser amount. I wouldn’t sweat it too much, so long as you get plenty from clean sources throughout the day. The devil really is in the details sometimes. Action is usually better than overthinking it.

He is also mentoring people who ideally train extremely hard in bodybuilding/other sport. You didn’t seem to mention what your PT plan is. Perhaps I missed it.

[/quote]

Yup, this is what he said “This is one of these cases where you indeed need to use your better judgement and go with a lower amount. Using LBM is a good start, and adjust your intake from there.”

I do have the tendency to overthink…this applies to my entire life not just dieting.

In terms of weight training I have not decided what I want to do yet. This is what I am doing today. It might seem silly, or even stupid to start a diet without weights but I decided that its better to start my diet and find the weight lifting regiment I want, than eat like crap until I find it.

I have been reading Thibs article obviously about his body transformation so I think I will follow his steps. His mindset makes sense, I will feel better following someone’s ideas that I trust than try to make something myself and always doubt it.

Even though now I do realize that crappy action is better than inaction.

Just writing down these ideas as notes mostly:
Flameout
Power Drive (2-3 servings)
Surge?

2750kcals/day (a good place to start for a 200-210 pound individual) it means that you should ingest around 320g of protein, 150g of fat, and anywhere from 0 to 30g of carbs (or a bit higher depending on your body fat levels).

Monday: Chest and back heavy
Tuesday: Legs, heavy
Wednesday: OFF
Thursday: Lactate-inducing workout, then 30 minutes low-intensity ESW
Friday: Arms (heavy) and shoulders
Saturday: Lactate-inducing workout, then 30 minutes low-intensity ESW
Sunday: OFF

Here are the loading parameters for the ‘‘heavy’’ sessions:

Beginners
Exercises: 3 for big muscle groups, 2 for small ones
Reps per set: 6 to 10 reps
Sets per exercise: 3-4
Possible special techniques: none

4-8 x 400m sprints with 90 seconds rest would also work very well as a lactate-inducing workout

Low-intensity cardio at 65-70% of your max heart rate won’t use too much glucose/glycogen.

Although I initially thought that 2750 calories a day is high for a female losing weight, what you’ve been doing is working ( - 10 pounds since 11/23). Perhaps its best to ratchet it downwards later when you begin to stall as your body adapts.

I think that the weight training parameters that you set for yourself are great, especially since it seems like you weren’t training before this. You will certainly get great results from it then, assuming you stick to the plan.

I just read your “four eggs and celery meal.” Had to laugh a little bit. Doesn’t sound too appealing. You are right in trying to make acceptable meals that you enjoy - life is too short.

Careful with the peanut butter. I let that sabotage me in the past.

[quote]RumRiverCATO wrote:
Although I initially thought that 2750 calories a day is high for a female losing weight

Careful with the peanut butter. I let that sabotage me in the past. [/quote]

I am a guy >.<

And you are right, peanut butter is way to high calorie wise compared to cream. However I have been eating about 500 calories less than I should. Even though its working I have noticed that

a) I feel a bit drowsy in the afternoon and sleepy
b) If I go too low now and my diet stalls at some point I will not be able to go even lower.

At the same time I am adding weight lifting and sprints to my workout so I think it will balance out.


My workout is all set for now: (added picture since I am having formatting issues)

Note to self…if I ever want to break my diet, listen to Conan The Barbarian soundtrack.