T Nation

On Being A Good Liberal


#1

A friend sent me this:

If you want to be a GOOD liberal, you must have certain basic beliefs:

  1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

  2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

  3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

  4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

  5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
    cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected
    by yuppies driving SUVs.

  6. You have to be against capital punishment (putting murderers to
    death) but support abortion (killing innocent unborn babies) on demand (federally funded of course.)

  7. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments and unions create prosperity.

  8. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature but loony activists from Seattle do.

  9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

  10. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

  11. You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.

  12. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

13 You have to believe that standardized tests are racist but racial quotas are not.

  1. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
    anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

  2. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

  3. You have to believe that homosexual parades should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

  4. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the U.S.

  5. You have to believe that gasoline priced at $1.59 per gallon is too
    expensive but accept bottled spring water at $1.09 per quart as reasonable.

  6. You have to believe the purpose of government is to take money from
    people who earned it and spend it on people who did not earn it.

  7. You have to believe in the Democracy but demand only Democrat
    victories in elections.

  8. You have to believe that people who disagree with you are stupid and
    backward while believing people who agree with you are "progressive"
    and "enlightened."

  9. You have to believe that a "B"
    average economics major from Yale
    University with a MBA from Harvard Bu
    siness School is too stupid to
    be President of the United States.

  10. You have to believe that a "C" average history major from Harvard
    university, dropout from Vanderbilt Law School and failure at Vanderbilt Divinity School is brilliant and should be President of the United States.

  11. You are proud to have Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Bill Clinton
    in your Party.

  12. You agreed with France's position on the war in Iraq until combat victory was achieved within three weeks.

  13. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

Vote LIBERAL...It's easier than getting a job!


#2

That is Beautiful


#3

Great post!

I have one.

You have to believe that if a liberal policy does not work, it's because of a lack of funding by the republicans.


#4

Wow! Do liberals and conservatives hate each other so much? It's like a new religion with fanaticism on both sides.

Obviously it is far easier to hate than to understand.


#5

you just made my Friday


#6

Oh, and diversity is more important than the Constitution.


#7

"Sometimes I feel like I'm beating a dead horse..."


#8

Too funny, AR, you ole' gas can, you!


#9

Z-Man

This is nothing new. The political parties of the US have attacked each other like this since the days of the Federalists and the anti-federalists, probably before that too.

I really like this post though ; )


#10

Number one rated post of all time.


#11

Yes it is funny. I had to laugh...

I'm not on either side of the political spectrum. I like to think I'm smart enough to decide things on my own and not be ruled by an ideology. I could be wrong.


#12

Excellent post, Avoids.


#13

Wow. I'm a bad Liberal...

Which makes sense, being a Progressive Conservative.


#14

lol, I'm definitly not a liberal then.


#15

Avoids,
Love that post. We actually had that post about 3-4 months ago. The liberals were hot. It allowed me to identify which ones were still wearing their algorein2000 shirts. That would be most prominently: lumpy. Let me add to the list:

  1. You have to believe that amending the laws in effect before the election are OK if your candidate lost.

  2. You have to believe that the Supreme Court is bad because they interpret the laws and do not make new election laws when there is political pressure.

  3. You get mad at the sticker, "ted kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun."

Had to get some of those off my chest. hillary in 2004!!!