T Nation

Old Internet Text from 1991

This is sort of like the "wikihow or howto.com of its day… and yes, the internet existed back then. Enjoy…

This post is about getting laid… http://www.textfiles.com/sex/808-laid.txt

I didn’t know know being “pissed” also meant being drunk. "dude Im gonna get pisses tonight!!! lol

Hmm, what did you type into your google to get this particular topic young man.

Dude, textfiles.com is the shit. I remember getting on that site about 10 years ago. Lots of stuff on drugs, hacking, old school pickup stuff, you name it. Great site, glad it’s still around.

Also I think a lot of those txt are from before '91. I even found some boot beep codes for my dad’s old IBM 5150… that was waayyy back, before the 8086 xt and 286s. Jeez I was such a dork.

[quote]KyleT wrote:
Dude, textfiles.com is the shit. I remember getting on that site about 10 years ago. Lots of stuff on drugs, hacking, old school pickup stuff, you name it. Great site, glad it’s still around.

Also I think a lot of those txt are from before '91. I even found some boot beep codes for my dad’s old IBM 5150… that was waayyy back, before the 8086 xt and 286s. Jeez I’m such a dork.[/quote]

Fixed

reads like a demented dave barry.

Haha fucker.

I found some funny ass pickup lines in one of those files.

“Do you wanna fuck or do you have herpes?”

“Would you like to see my medal of honor?”
after fumbling around looking for it, say “oh, I must have left it at home”

“Excuse me. Do you wanna fuck, or should I apologize?”

“Say, didn’t we go to different schools together?”

" Hi, my name’s Ron, how do you like me so far?"

“Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?”

this one is fucking great!!! http://www.textfiles.com/sex/a_guide_.wom

A lot of those files are from old school BBS (Bulletin Board Systems) which flourished while the internet as we know it was still in its infancy.

I’m really dating myself here, but “back in the day” firing up the old 2400 baud modem and connecting to one of these places by phone was really exciting

I read some from 1983, I think it was worldnet or something, and guys were talking about Return of the Jedi coming out!

i remember when getting on the computer meant nobody could use the phone.

we used to make a big deal about my rich friend having a separate phone line for AOL.

also: hitting the connect button and then going to take a shower.

http://www.digibarn.com/collections/systems/swtpc-6800/index.html

My family’s first computer.

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
http://www.digibarn.com/collections/systems/swtpc-6800/index.html

My family’s first computer.[/quote]

HAHA!!! Fucking ABORT button yeS!!! ABORT!! ABORT!!


My family’s first

"If she decides to come into your home, you have won. Shut the door behind
her, then take out the knife. It is your house, and you are a male, so it
should be no problem to bash the fuck out of the bitch and then rape her.
Aim to knock her unconscious, but not into a coma. In case you didn’t know,
a woman’s cunt tenses up in a coma, and thus entry may be difficult.

Once done, discard of her. A dead bitch is environmentally friendly, so
have no hesitation in burying her someplace. Your backyard? Why not."

WTF kinda shit is that?!?

[quote]dirtbag wrote:
"If she decides to come into your home, you have won. Shut the door behind
her, then take out the knife. It is your house, and you are a male, so it
should be no problem to bash the fuck out of the bitch and then rape her.
Aim to knock her unconscious, but not into a coma. In case you didn’t know,
a woman’s cunt tenses up in a coma, and thus entry may be difficult.

Once done, discard of her. A dead bitch is environmentally friendly, so
have no hesitation in burying her someplace. Your backyard? Why not."

WTF kinda shit is that?!?[/quote]
the early 90’s were crazy.

[quote]WormwoodTheory wrote:
i remember when getting on the computer meant nobody could use the phone.

we used to make a big deal about my rich friend having a separate phone line for AOL.

also: hitting the connect button and then going to take a shower.[/quote]

True!
The one thing I would like to let kids growing up now know is that even then we were saying that this was too damned slow and we couldn’t wait for when they’d hurry this shit up.
I remember waiting 10 minutes for the first still photo from Star Wars Episode 1 to “download” in 1997 for Christ’s sake!

Sometimes I just look at people’s avatars more than reading the thread.

This was my families.The Atari 400! We would spend days entering thousands of lines from magazines to play games, only to have it freeze from a syntax error on line 8010,8020,9040…

Then once everything was right, recording it on a magnetic tape deck.

[quote]Use humour, be funny and make her laugh. While she is laughing, you can
order more drinks.
The more intoxicated you get her, the better. [/quote]

Haha