I am 40 years old, I am deeply in love with my wife of 10 years and I have 2 kids.
My old girlfriend who I have not seen in 13 years got married two weeks ago and I swear to god that afternoon it felt like someone punched me in the stomach.
I have not had more than 2-3 hours sleep a night since.
I always loved my old girlfriend and I always will. I have had quite a few girlfriends but she is the only one from my past that I think about. For a while I thought we were going to grow old together.
I have tried to keep thoughts of her locked up as tight as possible over all these years. Her getting married was enough to break the lock and now I have all these emotions swirling around.
I had physical pain in my stomach for 2 weeks until Monday when I opened up to one of her bridesmaids who is a mutual friend.
Almost instantly the physical pain went away but I still cannot sleep I can barely eat and I cannot concentrate.
These are not feelings a man my age should have. I should be able to control this like I always have. I don’t know if it is low T levels or what it is fucking me up but I am not right.
Have any of the older guys been through this at my age? I feel like a school boy whose heart has been broken.
And if any T-vixens are reading this perhaps you could give me a womans perspective on this whole thing.
My group of friends got together at a lakehouse this summer like we do every year. My old girlfriend wanted to go. It is my circle of friends. The only one that would be considered her friend is the bridesmaid.
I cannot figure out why she wanted to go there knowing I would be there without my wife.
Did she want to tell me something? Did she want a last fling?
Am I fucking insane from lack of sleep?