T Nation

OK, I Have A Dancing Problem/Phobia

Hello everyone,

I have a problem dancing, and I’d like some input on how to get better.

But first, some background. I used to be a pretty average rhythm-less dancer. Don’t get me wrong, I was terrible, but was kind of oblivious to the fact of how terrible I actually was… So, with ignorance being the bliss that it is, I bravely ventured out onto the floor breaking out what I thought was dancing. This happened a good number of times over the years, until my senior year in college.

I was on a class trip in Hong Kong at this RIDICULOUS club. I asked my “friend” Tina, who later turned out to be the craftiest, most conniving bitch I have ever met in my life if she wanted to dance. So we’re out there gettin down and in about 30 seconds into the song, she straight up walks away from me. It was like psychological dance rape.

And ever since then, I have been scarred. The attitude of reckless abandon I had on the d-floor is all but gone. I don’t see any reason to make a huge fool of myself anymore.

That being said, I keep finding myself in social situations where dancing is required. I don’t know whats worse, being the wall-flower or the dude who is embarrassing himself out there.

So there-in lies the problem. Yes, I do need confidence, but more importantly, I need RHYTHM. I need rhythm like a black man.

There’s a lot of specialized dance classes out there i.e. ballroom/merengue/salsa/tango/hip-hop, but I’m not exactly looking for that. I’m lookin to pick up the moves everyone else picked up through 6th, 7th and 8th grade along with highschool. You know, the cheesy, fun, playful, but RHYTHMIC social two-step stuff, if you will.

So thats my problem. I just want to be able to blend in, perhaps fall into the category of a guy who “can dance” etc. I find it unacceptable that I am a bad dancer, and it is unacceptable, at least to me, to be a bad dancer.

So, I humbly, respectfully and earnestly appeal to THE NATION for HELP!

Look, some people know how to get their groove on and others need to learn. You have only two alternatives, as far as I can see. Either, you get thicker skin and just dont give a damn about what other people think of your dancing OR you enroll in dance classes.

I think those are your only two options. I doubt watching old reruns of “Soul Train” for three hours a day would do you any good.

Why dont you take some dance classes? There is a perq in it: It’s a great way to meet women.

Either you have rhythm or you don’t, and it sounds like you don’t. All you need to do is learn to just kinda step from side to side on the beat…nothing fancy. Lots of times the girl just needs you to stand there while she does her own thing.

Just this weekend I saw some guy who had no idea how to dance but he got one of the hottest girls to dance with him because he was still confident and kind of embraced the fact he couldn’t dance. He made it a selling point. Just practice trying to step on the beat. I think there is a scene from the movie “Hitch” which you will find very helpful…rent it. Most girls just want someone who will go out there with them and care less about how good they are.

…a few drinks might help as well (a few, not 10).

“Tough guys don’t dance. You had better believe it.” - Norman Mailer

Dancing is odd in itself. Like a bunch of swans in mating season.

Don’t join the game - make it yours! Dance like you don’t have a clue and act like hot shit.

Have fun out of it. Be proud of earning a reputation for being a terrible dancer. Do whatever the fuck you wish to do on the dance floor. You might even leave with a few free drinks - and if chicks dig how you do your thing without a care for what others think, you might leave with a couple #s.

You should be trying to UNLEARN the little you know about dancing.

Dude, every other guy in the club looks just as dumb as you do on the dance floor. Or they’re gay. I wouldn’t give it too much thought.

If you really want to learn, do a hip hop class.

Otherwise, just pump it up and enjoy yourself. I always feel rediculous for the first 30secs or so. Then I’m fine.

i’ve always been blessed with dancing skills form a young age. as people have said its probably your rhythm and timing thats a bit off.

you should try a few salsa classes, the first thing they will teach you is a basic step and timing. plus i’ve never met a girl who didn’t like being spun about.

Watch this lesson on how to dance. Watch it repeatedly and you will soon be the envy of the club scene.


[quote]dollarbill44 wrote:
Watch this lesson on how to dance. Watch it repeatedly and you will soon be the envy of the club scene.


Please tell me that was posted with sarcasm… Jesus. Do we have to wear the pants like that too?

In order to dance you first must have rhythm. You have to find the beat and move to the beat. Learning to snap your fingers to the beat is the first step. Learn to nod to the beat, bob your head to the beat.

Learn to get the beat, then learn to move your body to the beat. once you get the hang of that, learn some dance moves. Watch videos, other people dancing and copy their moves.

Some of my best dance moves I copied from professional dancers. Piece the moves together however you can make it work. That is personalizing the dancing.

Bottom line, if you cannot get the rhythm, you look like a fool. Learn to get the beat of the music and go from there.

Alcohol helps also :slight_smile:

The king of dances, best place to start:

It’s peanut butter jelly time!

seriously, who can be more talented at dancing than that banana?