First match on the card decides the ancient struggle between two of various and sundry local drunk’s favorite legends: Bigfoot v…
The Loch Ness Monster!
You wanna battle - I’ll give you a battle…
Given that the first match on the card is between various and sundry local drunks’ favorites, at least one match on the card should be between various and sundry local drunks.
Also in Round 1, a handicap match: This dude who looks like Beastie Boy MCA after a bender, along with a keg of Heineken Brew, vs.
What may very well be an undercover Monkey – it’s hard to discern, but the banana attraction and the one burly forearm from hours upon hours of one-arm forearm work on the dominant arm are tell-tale signs…
(I had some more ideas on how to do this, but no photoshop, so, there ya go…).
gotta be bigfoot. nessie’s a little shy and doesn’t seem to venture on land. Bigfoot can be a lot of fun at those high school kegger parties!
Diesel, much as I appreciate your fine work above, please adhere to the current subject. Either place your bet and/or analysis of the BF v. LNM fight or add another to the card. Mayhaps TC could do battle with a hoagie of somesort? Thank you all. In the words of the UFC’s Big John McCarthy “Let’s get it on, c’mon!”
MBE: “The hope in hopeless. Since 1499.”
Patricia, stellar work as always. In fight 1 I’ll take Godzilla by burninating due to Jared’s skinnyfatness. His remaining flab allows him to become easily engulfed in flames faster than a baby seal near a campfire following an Exxon mishap. Since I really cannot fathom Jared’s pheonix rise from the literal and figurative ashes post-battle, I have to give the return bout to the big ugly lizard. Wait, no, I see Godzilla taking this one as well. My tally on this one looks something like: Fight 1) Gozilla over Jared by way of burninate
Fight 2) Gozilla over Jared briquettes (forfeit).
Boston, most excellent choice of fights for the World Kegger Title. While both inebriated fellows seem quite debilitated by not being conscious, I’ll take BB MCA over Incognito Monkey by way of keg rolling off bed and crushing Incog.
Back to the action at ringside.
MBE: “Fighting his way out of a plastic bag since 0016.”
Who is Jared?
Whah, thank you MBE.
And let me return the favor and attempt to analyze the battle between a walking carpet and a floating tea kettle.
You know, if this tea kettle is indeed Nessie; this prehistoric sea-lizard has had plenty of chances of munching on tender human morsels. But has never done it. Plenty of “sightings” but the thing has just plain out slithered away.
As for Bigfoot. What have we heard? Bigfoot scaring horses by it’s mere hairy presence. Bigfoot throwing rocks at miners. Bigfoot running into the thicket for cover.
I say this fight will go to decision. No knockout. Due to the fact that neither party seems very confrontational. Okay…maybe Bigfoot will throw some boulders at Nessie…and so due to that: Decision to Bigfoot. At least the big hairy fella delivered sometype of offensive strategy.
Whoa. That was tough to analzye.
“You know, if this tea kettle is indeed Nessie; this prehistoric sea-lizard has had plenty of chances of munching on tender human morsels. But has never done it. Plenty of “sightings” but the thing has just plain out slithered away…”
I have to disagree with your assumption that Nessie has not been munching on Human Morsels. When I was a young boy I went to school with a Scottish lad named Sean…seems Sean dissapeared in/or around 5th grade…have YOU seen Sean? I have not either.
I think the conclusion is obvious, how you missed it is beyond me.
“I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor”
~ Edward Albee
In a traditional battle of good vs. evil, will good reign supreme? Or will it be thwarted by the powers of evil, yet again? Only you can make the call.
And prevent forest fires, but that’s beside the point.
Damn picture…hope the holdup was worth it.
I can’t remember who sent this to me.