T Nation

Not Attracted to Her

How do you tell a girl you don’t want to have sex with them without hurting their feelings?

I’ve already done the deed with her and safe to say, I was amazing, ‘unreal’ to quote her, actually. And so she has asked me again…

The trouble I’m not attracted to her I just did it the first time because I was just being polite >_< …English gentleman and all that.

So, ideas?

Hit her.

Tell her you have running sores on your naughty bits and the doctor has advised you to abstain from intimate relations until the sores scab over.

[quote]Goodfellow wrote:
How do you tell a girl you don’t want to have sex with them without hurting their feelings?

I’ve already done the deed with her and safe to say, I was amazing, ‘unreal’ to quote her, actually. And so she has asked me again…

The trouble I’m not attracted to her I just did it the first time because I was just being polite >_< …English gentleman and all that.

So, ideas?[/quote]

Was it unreal for you too? If so, I’d get over the attractiveness issue.

There’s two approaches I’ve seen work. Both can cause problems.

  1. just let her know that it was a one-time thing, and you had a good time, but that’s that
  2. let her know there’s a new girl – if there’s actually a new girl

Potential problems:

  1. stalking you, giving you the “it’s just sex, I don’t want anything more” line, guilting you with gifts/flattery/etc.
  2. jealousy, forcing you to answer the “you think she’s prettier than me?” question, and other crazy insecure behavior.

My takeaway from having been in your position: don’t sleep with unattractive girls that you’ll ever see again.

Oh! Oh! Oh!! I am an expert on getting sex rejected.

Um I’ve heard

I can’t have sex because I need to keep my testosterone levels up and blowing my load will lower them.

We can’t do this too frequentely because I don’t want to start a “thing”. When we first did it I was under the impression that this would be a once or twice a year type of deal.

This is very tempting. I’m really considering this… Then just stop messaging her and she’ll wonder WTF, but her feelings wont be totally shattered because you found the offer “tempting”

Found god, yadda yadda. Something about religon and how god wants you to wait for the right one.

Um

Baby, I still have feelings for my ex and this isn’t fair to you…

I’m really busy right now, something or other about work/being tired, etc…

I’ve got loads more if you need.

YAY ME!

<—Not bitter.

nah, man -

I know what you mean, and have been in your shoes - there is no nice way to tell her that she don’t do it for you.

so, continue to have sex with her.

you know you like it, besides - sex is like pizza, even when it’s bad, it’s good~

when she starts looking for a committment, then give her the brush off, and tell her that she’s messing with a good thing.

in the meantime, sink the pink~

hide the salami

poke her with your disco stick

you get the idea…

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Oh! Oh! Oh!! I am an expert on getting sex rejected.

Um I’ve heard

[lots of examples]

I’ve got loads more if you need.

YAY ME!

<—Not bitter. [/quote]

So… what’s the nicest way to do it?

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Oh! Oh! Oh!! I am an expert on getting sex rejected.

Um I’ve heard

I can’t have sex because I need to keep my testosterone levels up and blowing my load will lower them.

We can’t do this too frequentely because I don’t want to start a “thing”. When we first did it I was under the impression that this would be a once or twice a year type of deal.

This is very tempting. I’m really considering this… Then just stop messaging her and she’ll wonder WTF, but her feelings wont be totally shattered because you found the offer “tempting”

Found god, yadda yadda. Something about religon and how god wants you to wait for the right one.

Um

Baby, I still have feelings for my ex and this isn’t fair to you…

I’m really busy right now, something or other about work/being tired, etc…

I’ve got loads more if you need.

YAY ME!

<—Not bitter. [/quote]

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Oh! Oh! Oh!! I am an expert on getting sex rejected.

Um I’ve heard

[lots of examples]

I’ve got loads more if you need.

YAY ME!

<—Not bitter. [/quote]

So… what’s the nicest way to do it?[/quote]

All of those are acceptabe.
They will result in tears, but not bawling and uncontrolable rage.

The self-loathing she will feel will be kept to a minimum because you never flat out told her she was unattracive. She can be in denial.

S’all good.

[quote]Goodfellow wrote:
How do you tell a girl you don’t want to have sex with them without hurting their feelings?
[/quote]

How about, “I really want to wait for marriage. I like you, but I can’t marry a non-[insert your religion here] girl.”

(Yeah, I’ve used that line. Meant it, too. Of course, I hadn’t shagged them already.)

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Oh! Oh! Oh!! I am an expert on getting sex rejected.

Um I’ve heard

I can’t have sex because I need to keep my testosterone levels up and blowing my load will lower them.

We can’t do this too frequentely because I don’t want to start a “thing”. When we first did it I was under the impression that this would be a once or twice a year type of deal.

This is very tempting. I’m really considering this… Then just stop messaging her and she’ll wonder WTF, but her feelings wont be totally shattered because you found the offer “tempting”

Found god, yadda yadda. Something about religon and how god wants you to wait for the right one.

Um

Baby, I still have feelings for my ex and this isn’t fair to you…

I’m really busy right now, something or other about work/being tired, etc…

I’ve got loads more if you need.

YAY ME!

<—Not bitter. [/quote]

You’re funny. You’ll have no problems finding a quality guy.

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Oh! Oh! Oh!! I am an expert on getting sex rejected.

Um I’ve heard

I can’t have sex because I need to keep my testosterone levels up and blowing my load will lower them.

We can’t do this too frequentely because I don’t want to start a “thing”. When we first did it I was under the impression that this would be a once or twice a year type of deal.

This is very tempting. I’m really considering this… Then just stop messaging her and she’ll wonder WTF, but her feelings wont be totally shattered because you found the offer “tempting”

Found god, yadda yadda. Something about religon and how god wants you to wait for the right one.

Um

Baby, I still have feelings for my ex and this isn’t fair to you…

I’m really busy right now, something or other about work/being tired, etc…

I’ve got loads more if you need.

YAY ME!

<—Not bitter. [/quote]

Oh shit I was actually going to use a couple of those, haha!

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]Goodfellow wrote:
How do you tell a girl you don’t want to have sex with them without hurting their feelings?
[/quote]

How about, “I really want to wait for marriage. I like you, but I can’t marry a non-[insert your religion here] girl.”

(Yeah, I’ve used that line. Meant it, too. Of course, I hadn’t shagged them already.)[/quote]

I genuinely lol’d

Tell her you have herpes

[quote]Goodfellow wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]Goodfellow wrote:
How do you tell a girl you don’t want to have sex with them without hurting their feelings?
[/quote]

How about, “I really want to wait for marriage. I like you, but I can’t marry a non-[insert your religion here] girl.”

(Yeah, I’ve used that line. Meant it, too. Of course, I hadn’t shagged them already.)[/quote]

I genuinely lol’d[/quote]

Old fashioned morals may be amusing now, but they sure do keep people out of shitty situations.

It’s like they were designed by some all-knowing dude who wanted to keep us out of trouble.

Or you could just blow her off altogether. I literally couldn’t tell you how many girls I’ve done this to, from legit 9’s to bonafide rock chewers. You don’t owe her anything, and it’s not like y’all have been in a serious relationship, or even dating for that matter. You put your weiner in her once, and she likes you so she embellished your sexual abilities to keep you around. She’ll get over it.

What I tell girls I only fucked once, ‘Your pussy was sweet but not that sweet. Goodbyyyyyyye!’’

Tell her you are actually gay and only had sex with her because you have trouble admitting your true sexuality to yourself. Daddy issues and so on. She will have no problems believing you.

Is a future interaction with her inevitable or is she a random?

Friend of a friend?

What are we working with here?

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Oh! Oh! Oh!! I am an expert on getting sex rejected.

Um I’ve heard

I can’t have sex because I need to keep my testosterone levels up and blowing my load will lower them.

We can’t do this too frequentely because I don’t want to start a “thing”. When we first did it I was under the impression that this would be a once or twice a year type of deal.

This is very tempting. I’m really considering this… Then just stop messaging her and she’ll wonder WTF, but her feelings wont be totally shattered because you found the offer “tempting”

Found god, yadda yadda. Something about religon and how god wants you to wait for the right one.

Um

Baby, I still have feelings for my ex and this isn’t fair to you…

I’m really busy right now, something or other about work/being tired, etc…

I’ve got loads more if you need.

YAY ME!

<—Not bitter. [/quote]

Imagine you were me, what have I just read?

Dont ever do that IRL.