T Nation

Not a Party Guy?

well I went to this party yesterday where everyone was drinking, but I don’t really like to drink… I mean don’t like to drink, don’t like to smoke or take drugs. This is also probably because of the bodybuilding discipline i’m building up but anyways I dont mind people drinking, its not like its my business anyway.

I feel kind of akward when you are the only sober person in a party where everyone else is wasted/f*cked up. i tried to make some friends; i tried to hook up with some chicks, but nothing happened, it was like they were not really into me. With all that being said, I’m starting to believe that i’m not really a party guy.

No matter my efforts to socialize with others, i cant connect with them. I’m normally a social person at school or even at work; people say that i’m interesting and funny person to listen to, but when it comes to parties it cant just work.The music is too loud, you can barely talk and hear, everyone is fcked up, and dont give a sht bout what you say and all that. I feel bad cause i’m so young; i’m supposed to hang out with my friends and have some fun, people might start thinking i’m asocial.

so don’t go to parties.

Well, first off, you’re not “supposed” to get drunk and do drugs with your friends just because. No one will think you’re asocial for not going clubbing with them. Just make sure that you stay in touch for the events that don’t involve getting wasted and find people who like to do the things you like. A year or two ago I developed a distaste for getting drunk and I’ve never regretted having to leave parties or bars early.

Right now, for example, all of my friends have terrible headaches and are vomiting and I’ve already cleaned the house and gone to the gym and feel fantastic.

I also offer to DD once in a while, but don’t let people take advantage of you. You could save a life, and you’ll always get a free meal out of it.

There’s nothing wrong with you, its them. Being screwed up is the new normal. There’s better things to do in life.

I’m not a big party guy either. I’ve been to my fair share, but it’s just not my thing. Much rather chill around a fire with a few god friends and have some beers. I feel like we live in a culture where everyone thinks they have to go out and party and act like an asshole. I have two suggestions. 1 don’t go to parties if you’re gonan stay sober.

Being the only sober one blows. Last time I went to a party sober this kid tried fighitng me all night. He was black out drunk and literally talked shit for hours. Not sure what it says about my character but I just didn’t have it in me to beat on some dude 80 pounds lighter who didn’t even know what state he was in… But I digress. 2 is just accept the fact you don’t like to party and move on. Don’t try and make yourselfl Ike something. Find what’s fun for you and enjoy the shit out of it

[quote]CroatianRage wrote:
Well, first off, you’re not “supposed” to get drunk and do drugs with your friends just because. No one will think you’re asocial for not going clubbing with them. Just make sure that you stay in touch for the events that don’t involve getting wasted and find people who like to do the things you like. A year or two ago I developed a distaste for getting drunk and I’ve never regretted having to leave parties or bars early.

Right now, for example, all of my friends have terrible headaches and are vomiting and I’ve already cleaned the house and gone to the gym and feel fantastic.

I also offer to DD once in a while, but don’t let people take advantage of you. You could save a life, and you’ll always get a free meal out of it.[/quote]

Same thing with my friends, except not at this moment. Actually I’d be willing to bet at this moment is prlly right. I mean my friends are always digging at me for going to bed early, getting up early, paying attention to my diet, all that. But these same guys will drink 5 out of 7 days of the week, go to bed at 5 in the morning, and sleep until 3 in the afternoon. Forget about the fact I’ve had to pay attention to my health and like to train seriously, waking up at 3 in the afternoon is just a complete waste of the fucking day.

[quote]victoralejandro wrote:
well I went to this party yesterday where everyone was drinking, but I don’t really like to drink… I mean don’t like to drink, don’t like to smoke or take drugs. This is also probably because of the bodybuilding discipline i’m building up but anyways I dont mind people drinking, its not like its my business anyway.

I feel kind of akward when you are the only sober person in a party where everyone else is wasted/f*cked up. i tried to make some friends; i tried to hook up with some chicks, but nothing happened, it was like they were not really into me. With all that being said, I’m starting to believe that i’m not really a party guy.

No matter my efforts to socialize with others, i cant connect with them. I’m normally a social person at school or even at work; people say that i’m interesting and funny person to listen to, but when it comes to parties it cant just work.The music is too loud, you can barely talk and hear, everyone is fcked up, and dont give a sht bout what you say and all that. I feel bad cause i’m so young; i’m supposed to hang out with my friends and have some fun, people might start thinking i’m asocial. [/quote]

Bodybuilders don’t do drugs and party? LMAO

Don’t have sex either cause girls have cooties!

i went with a friend last night and that motherf*cker connected so well with everyone. he got some numbers and prolly got laid after lol… i don’t want to put myself in risk as i don’t like to risks health Wise, but yeah i wanna party, have fun without drinking and staying sober… i wanna meet a chick, get her number and go out with her like in the movies. anyone relates?

[quote]victoralejandro wrote:
i went with a friend last night and that motherf*cker connected so well with everyone. he got some numbers and prolly got laid after lol… i don’t want to put myself in risk as i don’t like to risks health Wise, but yeah i wanna party, have fun without drinking and staying sober… i wanna meet a chick, get her number and go out with her like in the movies. anyone relates?[/quote]

Now I almost feel like your trolling but I can’t tell…What do you mean by health risks? A couple drinks isn’t gonna kill you. And as long as you wrap your willy and use some common sense I think you’ll be fine. If you want to meet a girl for a relationship… well parties probably aren’t the best place to go looking for that.

[quote]victoralejandro wrote:
i went with a friend last night and that motherf*cker connected so well with everyone. he got some numbers and prolly got laid after lol… i don’t want to put myself in risk as i don’t like to risks health Wise, but yeah i wanna party, have fun without drinking and staying sober… i wanna meet a chick, get her number and go out with her like in the movies. anyone relates?[/quote]

It sounds as if your social skills are poorly developed. How old are you broksi? 18-21?

[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:

Bodybuilders don’t do drugs and party? LMAO

Don’t have sex either cause girls have cooties!

[/quote]

haha that’s how this dude zyzz died: coke, juice, and parties. excessive lifestyle

[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:

It sounds as if your social skills are poorly developed. How old are you broksi? 18-21?[/quote]

just turned 21, and yeah my ex said i was boring

This concept of maintaining some form of ‘bodybuilding discipline’, especially if you’re in your late teens/early twenties, is absurd.

Unless your competing or making money from your physique then there is nothing wrong with cutting loose once in a while and having fun.

[quote]victoralejandro wrote:

[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:

It sounds as if your social skills are poorly developed. How old are you broksi? 18-21?[/quote]

just turned 21, and yeah my ex said i was boring[/quote]

It’s hard to be interesting when you haven’t done anything. Go do some interesting things and you will be an interesting person.

The only thing the people you’re hanging with now are into is partying. Find other people who are into other things.

[quote]ChongLordUno wrote:
This concept of maintaining some form of ‘bodybuilding discipline’, especially if you’re in your late teens/early twenties, is absurd.

Unless your competing or making money from your physique then there is nothing wrong with cutting loose once in a while and having fun. [/quote]

Agreed. I think a lot of guys use that as an excuse. Not that this makes you not serious about your training, but don’t hide behind it. One of the coaches I know asks people he helps in the gym why they are there. He did it to me when I first walked in and I said “I just want to get bigger”. I have asked myself this question a few times since then and it has changed drastically. Anyways I asked him why he asks people that assuming it was about helping them get the results they wanted. His response was that some people use the gym as a place to hide, and sometimes that means they should focus their energy elsewhere.

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

It’s hard to be interesting when you haven’t done anything. Go do some interesting things and you will be an interesting person.

The only thing the people you’re hanging with now are into is partying. Find other people who are into other things.
[/quote]

yeah, exactly. for 4 years i’ve been stuck at summer school, so i didn’t quite get the chance to taste life by my own. I’m starting decently to take part on community issues, get involved on campus and so on

I like to hang with my god friends too mostly. I will drink a few beers (or more if the situation is right) but usually with a small group in a bar, preferably in the afternoon. Parties in my life are small gatherings of friends (20 tops) for dinner and drinks. When i was younger if it was a bigger and had more strangers then nothing but trouble. Fights, property damage, guns, gang rape, etc

I would suggest loosening up, have some drinks and mingle. A few drinks or even a joint is not going to derail your heath and fitness goals and there is nothing wrong with moderate amounts of either, IMO.

If you are dead-set on not doing that then you should branch out from your current social circles. There is nothing wrong with this either.

It sounds like you are doing some volunteer work. That is great. It is a great way to meet good people in a positive atmosphere.

Good luck, and don’t overthink things. Have fun.

I don’t drink at all either and I have no problem going out with friends and having a good time. It’s fun watching other people get drunk and make asses of themselves. That being said, I use to be one of those guys in my young to mid 20’s, but I grew out of that phase.

If a girl doesn’t like you because you don’t drink then she is not worth your time anyways.