T Nation

Normie to Meathead Translator

Many of us have been in the game long enough to encounter plenty of hilarious questions and feedback regarding our fitness centered lifestyles. I thought it’d be fun to translate some of the most common phrases you regularly hear from your peers. To get the ball rolling…

“I don’t want to put on too much muscle.”
translation
"I’m never gonna actually do any resistance training."

“I need to lose 10 lbs.”
translation
"I need to lose 40 lbs."

“I’m about 10% bodyfat.”
translation
"I’m around 18% bodyfat."

“I eat healthy.”
translation
"I cook dinner 3x a week and order out the rest of the time. I usually avoid McDonald’s."

“I used to do Keto.”
translation
"I gave up bread for 3 days once and had a mild headache so I quit…and somehow ended up gaining a little weight."

“I have bad knees.”
translation
"I’m not willing to learn how to properly train legs."

“How often do you workout?”
translation
"Please God tell me you workout 6 days a week for 3 hours, because otherwise…what’s my freakin’ excuse?!!"

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“I don’t eat much,” or “I don’t all day.”

Translation: I eat all night.

You used the word normie. Now I really gotta start worrying about you. Pfft…

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“I’'d love my gym time but; the meal prep / food diary / big breakfasts seem excessive. So I don’t do them”
Translation:
"building an impressive body or increasing my athletic ability is so important to me - I’m not willing to spend any time trying to make sure I get the right fuel"

“I skipped lunch so I brought a chicken sandwich. That’s got protein in, right?”
Translation:
"I skip a lot of meals. And now I’m trying to make for it with one processed chicken sandwich"

“Yeah but to get noticeably big you have to take steroids”
Translation
"To get noticeably big with the effort I put in would take steroids"

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Good one! Although, I actually kinda agree with this one lol. My metric of “noticeably big” is pretty skewed though.

“High Protein”
Translation
"mostly fats and carbs, but 10g is a lot right?

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Oh yeah, don’t get me started! How many times I’ve heard that beans are a “good source of protein” or nuts. :man_facepalming:

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I raise you my all time favourite “high protein” food:

LN_561133_BP_11

Comes in at a whopping 4.7g protein per 100g (recommended serving size 30g)

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Well at least it’s nutrient dense

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“I don’t have time”
"It’s not important enough to me to fit it into my schedule"

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10000% I’ve rearranged family trips to workout, deadlifted jetlagged and got got 10,000 steps in an airport to reach my step goal.

Another one:
“You’re crazy”
Translation: You workout for more than 3x/week and do more than use the machines half assed

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I think that’s the porn parody sequel to Terminator! :stuck_out_tongue:

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“Are you taking…anything?”
Translation: You are larger than the average person, and I saw you drink protein powder. Therefore, you must be on drugs.

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“What’s your secret :wink:?”
Translation: “You have an appreciable amount of muscle therefore something other than hard work and consistency are the prime factors to growth.”

“I can’t work out as long as you”
Translation: “I don’t know how to workout efficiently”

“I eat a lot of protein”
Translation: “Most meals have a 4 oz portion of meat surrounded by enriched carbs”

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My favourite are the ones that put “a source of protein.” Not “a good/great source of protein”, but just a source of it.

Many times they say Squat Rack when they mean Power Rack.

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I’m definitely guilty of this

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One I used to get through high school/college

“Do you play football?”
Translation: “There can be no other reason to big and muscular other than to play a game that takes 3 hours for an average of 12 minutes of action”

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Man we are all pretty cool dudes here.

My favorite is when powerlifters or strongman get asked if they’re bodybuilders and get all indignant about it. Man, if someone confuses me for a bodybuilder, that’s a compliment!

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