T Nation

NO training BLUES

I just wanted to vent a bit, you guys are the only ones who understand the gym life. For eleven years of my life I lived for the gym. It all started back in football freshman year and I wanted to be better so I would spend so much time in there. In my head my day didn’t start until I walked in that gym and broke a new record, or got a new lifting shirt Ie 250 powerclean etc.I just loved it more than anything in the world. It was beyond a aesthetics need, I loved the process, the power , the coursing adrenaline, after a big lift like 500lb deadlift. After I graduated I decided to become a trainer, I found out that I loved helping people get in shape just as much as training. Sure I was in school, but it was allways on my mind. Getting better, whens my next meal?Its leq day tommorrow, geting up at the crack of dawn to squat before clients. always carrying food with me everywhere I went, allways on some new fangled approach to diet, never drinking when I went out, going to bed early. Hey its my life so this is my happines. For years I lived my life this way, and achieved many happy goals. I actually reached a point where I was so proud of my natural physique proportions, power,leaness. It was like wow things can only get better. Now I have been dealt blows before, but mostly injuries that kept me from training, but come to think of it I still would train whatever body part wasnt hurt. Now last year comes and my digestion problems start to take over getting so bad that I could barely eat 1 meal a day sometimes(I have posted allott about this) this just de railed my training, at first I just ignored it and forced the food in and tried to train thinking ah it would get better but it didn’t and I just got weaker and weaker, until I lost so much lBM it looks as if I never trained in my life. but more than that my life which was training feels so far away, and I am so bothered by not being able to train. I am so weak and can barely eat anything except juice greens and veggies. My once 18 inch arms(pumped) have disapeared to strings, chest has flattened into saginess. I feel so frusturated. Another thing I never realized how much of an identity goes with your body, You are always known as the strong guy, when people see you even family, I never thought about it, but when ever I run into somebody they ask me what happened where are allyour muscles. I just say I’m not training. Its weird, I feel like I may never be the same and am having a very very hard time dealing with this. Sure, work is fine , friends are fine, family is fine. but my love for the iron, and even the process, nutriion and supplements feels lost. If anyone has any words please hit me up… I would appreciatte it.

Man thats tough, I understand why your upset. One question though - is this digestion problem permanent? Or is something that is treatable that you will get over?

If the latter, I urge you to not worry about things now, and instead consider this a challenge. Look forward to the hard work and training it will take to get yourself back to where you were once the digestion problem is over with. Face it head on.

If on the other hand this is a permanent problem, you also need to realize that there IS more to life than training (Actually, even if you can get back into training later, you still need to realize this). Being a bit depressed is natural, however, like any disability, you will learn to cope with it. You WILL find other things in your life that you are passionate about. And, of course, your friends and family should always be one of the most important things in your life, a major source of happiness and support, regardless of whether you are training or not. Talk to your friends, particularly close ones, about this. It may help a lot. And I would strongly urge you to turn to faith as well, it is what keeps me strong no matter what.

I’ve been goin thru the same thing for the last two years. I was at my prime 2 years ago, until I started getting digestive problems. It’s really annoying because I would always watch what I ate and took care of myself, while my friends treated their bodies like shit. I got diagnosed with Crohn’s last April. My case is really mild though. I just get indigestion when I eat. However I lost about 30 pounds trying different diets (no-grain, organic, hypo-allergenic, blood type). Plus, I just dont have the time with school right now (engineering). Everyone asks me “What happened, you used to be so big?” or “Man! you lost weight!” It’s definitely a blow to one’s confidence. However, I’m in my last semester of school, and I have vowed that I will gain 40 pounds of muscle. I don’t care how but I will. Hang in there.

What a major bummer J. I’m not sure how I would handle it either. I’m assuming you have chased down all the medical reasons for your digestive problems and hopefully there is some light at the end of the tunnel for you. In the meantime, try and force yourself into the gym and workout. Maybe some of the old magic will come back. At least you will be back in the environment. You might want to consider some anti depressants also. Good luck man.

Hi Judd,

First, let me say it must be awful to be in the predicament in which you find yourself. I suffer from migraines and they definitely put a damper on my training at times, but not to the point I can’t train at all. I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through all you’ve gone through.

Don’t ever give up trying to find an answer. It’s out there somewhere. Keep posting and talking to people. You never know when you’ll meet someone with the answer.

I’ve seen your previous posts but I never replied before because I didn’t really have any answers for you.

Something in this post struck me though - your statement about how much you identify with your body. I’m not going to get into a long discussion about spirituality and metaphysics because I don’t know if you’re open to that kind of thing. I will simply say that we are much more than our bodies; we are mind and spirit too. Maybe your spirit is trying to tell you something about the fact you identify so strongly with the body.

Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss this further.

MD