T Nation

no SEX (getting desperate)

so here?s the story i got together with my girlfriend about 4 months ago, but 3 of which i had to spend abroad due to study reasons, we didn?t have sex before i left, and that was ok for me having to wait a little.
during the time i was away we talked a lot on the phone and wrote many emails. every thing is great, but now i?m back home and still she doesn?t want to sleep with me, though she should have noticed that i?m serious about our relationship. she?s 21 and i have no clue why we shouldn?t have sex and i?m wondering what you people think about it…

As a married man who maybe gets laid once a friggin’ week, I say get the fudge out and lay some damn pipe already! You can still waste time trying to figure this broad out if it means that much to you, but find someone else to bang in the meantime for Pete’s sake!

Have you asked her why?.Could be she does not feel the same way about you.Its one thing to exchange email and another bodily fluid!.
Why should she have noticed that you are serious?
Mate talk it through with her, you either have a future together or not, but best to find out now where you stand.

Perhaps a serious relationship to her does not require sex, or at least not in a 4 month timeframe.

For example, I’ve recently met a chick I think I might like. All I know right now is she’s cool. Consequently, there’s no way I’d have sex with her, should the chance arise. HOWEVER, I’m not against sex (in general) either! Not by any means. Food for thought, if it made any sense.

Maybe because a ‘serious’ relationship is ont based on sex? Mature relationships have sex as a bonus, immature ones rely on sex to hold them together. If you plan to be with her long term then what’s wrong with waiting, and if you don’t plan to be with her long term you have no business haveing sex with her. And before the flames start, sex makes babies, and no contraception is 100% so if you’re not ready to be a father (or mother) keep it in your pants.

I agree with Michelle. What are ya waitin for ?!?!? Find somethin (napkin ring?) to slide the meat to!! Sometimes sex is just fun. No Relationship needed. Geez grow up.

What is so wrong with immature relationships? Talk with her. Has the topic of sex come up? are you at all physical with her?

Been there. Done that. Get the fuck out and get another girlfriend who wants to have sex. It’s not worth the frusturation and it will only lead to other problems down the road. What are you waiting for? GET GOING!

If she’s a virgin and she’s waiting, then just hold your horses. If she’s not a virgin, then she might have some intimacy issues (or trauma) that you two need to talk about.

Are you getting anything sexual from her?? Kissing, oral etc etc cause if your not then maybe she has intimacy issues, or maybe she wants to wait till she’s married, doesnt trust you yet, the list is almost endless, the only way to know is to talk about it to her and it seems like you have been doing a lot of that, have you asked her what her stance is on sex? if shes the kind of girl who wants to date for six months before letting anything happen , are you ready to wait that long? Man, you aint gonna know till you ask her.

Ditch her. Not even worth the trouble. The first part of your relationship should be an unabashed booty-fest. If she won’t put out NOW, think of a year or so down the road where her need to impress will be small or non-existant.

Of course maybe she has herpes or something.