T Nation

No More Fist Bumps


I’m sick of people offering their fist to bump or grabbing my hand in an ethnic hand shake. From now on I’m just going to let them hang. Enough is enough.


Cabbage them.


After having a co worker take their finger straight out of his nose in order to give me a high five, I embrace the fist bump.


The fist bump is the best social ritual to have caught on in recent time. Makes so much more sense in a world of close proximity to other humans where a virus/disease can spread so quickly.

Don’t get me wrong, I reserve the hand shake for certain occasions that call for it. However, for the common daily interaction of others, fist bump all day.


I only just started fist bumping. Prior to this I would grab their fist and shake it while looking at it like it was some strange object.

I don’t do any of that fo shizzle fo my nizzle shit either. Just one straight punch to the fist, perpendicular to theirs. Any of that snappy fluttery shit gets a head shake and a “Nope.”.


When my bros and I get a few beers in, we grasp each others forearms, Roman style.

Then we enthusiastically announce, " We Don’t Spread Germs!"


Yeah, except everyone has been trained to sneeze and cough into their elbows, so you do, you filthy Typhoid Mary, you.


I think it’s amusing when younger guys do a fist bump to me.

I’m a older young guy.


Is that a thing, or did you guys come up with that yourselves?

I’d swear a couple of dudes were doing that at a wedding I was at in October.


If you saw our enthusiasm, you’d probably forget about cleanliness and join in.

We started it when somebody was too drunk to shake hands, missed the thumb and slid into a forearm clasp. We get around, maybe it has spread.

If the guys at the wedding were friends of mine, there would have been a debate over wether having 1 leg is an advantage or disadvantage in wrestling. Then there would have been a wrestling match.


It was a bunch of virginia tech kids, around 25-26 years old.

No wrestling matches but that type of clasping seems like it would be great to headbutt each others collarbones.

Go figure. Even handshakes can be contagious.


After exposure like this, I expect the Roman Handshake to become REAL popular.


Oh, probably. Generally speaking, I’m more likely to engage in fun than in caution.


Fist bumping hasn’t really caught on here in Wales. The only time I’ve ever got a fist bump was when I said that in all of my (at the time) 25 years not once have I ever been caught masturbating. That one where you grasp the other guy’s hand underarm used to be fairly routine though. The first time it happened to me, I twisted my arm around so I could shake the guy’s hand normally, not realising what was expected of me. I’m told that was quite funny at the time.


This happened to you once and you didn’t know what to do, right?

With Chrono and Hugh Gilly this board has really gone to the idiots.