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No Libido Since August, I am Losing my Mind

Please help, I fucked up on so many levels, I know. But I am going insane. I’ve had an absolutely dead dick for the past 6 months and I can’t take it anymore. I am 23 years old, started my 5th cycles at the start of august which consisted of :

500mg test E/weeks
700mg primobolan E/weeks
500 EQ/weeks
50mg anavar/weeks. (1-5)
60mg ralox/weeks (wanted to remove some gyno from last cycles)
200mg DNP (first 2 weeks, wanted to do a small suicide cut first 2 weeks)
Other length doesn’t matter for the rest because I didn’t finish it.

I started the first 3 weeks with DNP, everything was going well. Then at week 4, I added in HCG @ 500 IU E3D because I wanted the increased loads and to recover faster once I would do my PCT. I did feel an increased sex drive initially, for the first 3-4 injections. Then around weeks 5-6-7, my libido started going downhill, to the point where it was non-existent at ALL. It was still early, didn’t know toward what kind of hell I was drifting to yet, at this stage. So I theorized I had crashed my E2, which could’ve been logical since I was running EQ and primobolan, which is said to crash estrogen. At this point, you should know that I had absolutely NO libido. I didn’t jack off for 4 weeks straight. Literally not interested in sex. Anyways, to try and result my theorized problem of estrogen and low libido, I’ve added NPP at 300mg/weeks to my protocol, increased testosterone to 750mg/weeks and dropped Primo and EQ. (Why npp? Cause I’ve done 3 cycle on this and always increased my libido like crazy. Thought It would do the same.) I went on for like 3-4 weeks like that, with no results, still.

Then, well, still nothing. So at this point I’m running 750 mg test/weeks, 300 npp/weeks and HCG. I decided to drop the HCG aswell as my problem could’ve been the opposite that I thought, maybe I had high estrogen instead ? I know my usuals high estrogens symptoms but I didn’t had any really. Anyways, went on and started taking some aromasin, started with 12.5mg 2x/weeks and upped to 25mgs, no improvement at all.

At this point were in October and I’m getting scared, it’s the first time something like that happened to me. I decide to drop everything to a cruise dose, as I’ve read off someone in a similar situation to me, that was advised to do just that. So I start injecting only 150mgs/weeks of test E, split 2x/weeks, and let time do its thing. Honestly, I did see an improvement. I had some small sort of libido; I would masturbate once per weeks and experience some weak erections. But it was still super far from normal, there’s no way I would go out and have sex with this kind of low libido and it was so small that it wasn’t sustainable for me. I will evaluate this libido at like 20%. Up from 0% a few weeks ago.

So some weeks goes, it’s now mid-December, I’m reading everyday on the subject, looking at every forums for people in my situation, without being able to find a solution. I think about re-introducing HCG, as it helps usually a lot of peoples on cruises. I introduce 250IUS E3D and notice a very small amelioration. Okay, nice I guess?

At this point I hadn’t my blood taken because I thought it was a temporary issue and it is extremely hard where I live and walk-ins clinics are illegal, you requires a prescription to get bloods and I have no family doctor. Anyways, I tell myself fuck it, go though the difficult process of finding a random doctor to get my bloods, I tell her I’m actually off everything just so I’d get my bloods taken. (it takes 30 days to receive the results, so I just got them in January)

Then I go through my old cycle logs and remember that when I came off an old cycle and used high dosage HCG, my libido was thought the roof. So I do a single shot of 1000IUS of HCG and BOOOOOM. There it goes. 100%. I was horny like I was before, I could masturbate for a whole day straight (I always been like that when my libido is normal), I was so happy, thought I had it under my belt. This also confirmed to me that my problem was not psychological. So I decide to up my dosage to 500 IU EoD and see where it goes.

Sadly, after a few weeks, the libido went downward to like 30%, which sucked completely. Was back to being somewhat horny only once per weeks. I was taking aromasin, can’t remember really the dose, but it was small, wasn’t having high E2 symptoms, nor small E2 symptoms.

Now were in early January, I got my results from my bloods I had taken in December :

Test: 23.3 nmol/L (9-28.3) (reference range)
Freetest: 692 pmol/L (70-468)
Bioavailable test : 18 nmol/L (2.3-14 nmol/L)
SHBG: 12.7 nmol/L (13.3-89.9) kinda low shbg
Estradiol: 78 pmol/L
Prolactin 7.6 ug/L (2.6-13.1)
TSH: 1.43 Mu/L (0.38-5.33)

My test was kinda high, estrogen too but nothing significant that could cause such a low sexual drive. I tell myself fuck off and decide to come off everything and plan my PCT. I cannot endure this no more. My plan is to dose high HCG for 4 weeks while the test E clears up and then introduce nolvadex and clomid at moderate doseage.

While coming off, taking HCG @ 1000IUS/days, libido was actually pretty fair, I was jacking off every 2 days, it was enjoyable tbh. It was the closest I had to having a sustained, normal libido in months. After about 4 weeks at this dosage to let the test E clears, I stop the HCG and introduce nolvadex at 20mgs/ED and Clomid @ 100mgs/ED for the first 2 weeks, while planning to reduce the doses after to 10mg nolva/ED and 50mgs clomid/ED.

Well, as you can probably guess already, my dick went to absolute shit right there. Okay, that’s to be anticipated I guess? It wasn’t my first rodeo in a PCT, so I kept calm. As far as I can remember, I always had ED and low libido in PCT. (Even tho this time was way worse, but I kept calm).

It’s now been 5 weeks since im on PCT and haven’t recovered at all, my dick and libido is completely dead. Nonexistent. And it’s starting to considerably hurting my life. I know my PCT isn’t over and my test probably haven’t recovered but I know that it’s not normal to be so bad. I plan to try and get some bloodworks after weeks 5-6.

I’ve tried everything (when I was still on cycle) : Proviron, masteron, Cialis, Viagra, all kind of shitty OTC supplements, Caber, Melotan-2, Adderall (I got a script for this), EVERYTHING. Nothing helped.

I am now exploring the options of pregnanolone, since some claim HCG increases libido by increasing pregnanolone and DHEA and HCG did give me extremely good libido. But I honestly doubt it will do anything, tbh. I haven’t seen any anectodal case of people increasing libido with pregnenolone.

I know the issue isn’t psychological, cause I really did see improvement in less than hours with HCG. I am not watching any porn. I didn’t take any SSRI, ever in my life. My dopamine system isn’t fried (Yes I got a script for Adderall, but I take only 5mgs IR, once every few days when I really need it. Never went higher than 10mgs). I am not fat at all, I’m 200 lbs, 6 feets @ around 15% bodyfat atm (was 10% at the start of the cycle) and I do cardio almost every days for 30-90mins.

So what the fuck could be the cause? The ONLY way I am able to cum, is with a very high dose of Viagra and Cialis, where I concentrate really hard while jacking off, which I do like once every week, to measure how I feel. Other than that, I feel like my dick is like, cold and disconnected from my mind? It reacts to physical touch, without being turned on really, like blood will go into it if I touch it but there is no pleasure at all.

Please someone help me, I am so fucking scared of not recovering and I am running out of solution. I genuinely don’t see any point in living if my dick is going to stay dead like this forever and I am starting to get very depressed. If I recover, I vow to never, ever uses steroids again in my life.

Thanks in advance for reading this and helping.

You sound incredibly impatient.

You need some blood work at this point to see if your pct was effective.

Stop the stimulants and any other performance enhancing drugs (sexual or steroids).

Do a deload immediately. I would take 2-3 weeks off of lifting and cardio. after which I would add it in slowly.

You need to focus your energy into sleep, recovery, and reducing your anxiety.

Be patient, your libido will more than likely come back, but you need to fix the root cause and not bandaid it with more drugs.

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Thanks for the reply. Yes I’m getting impatient, at first I thought it was normal but after more than 6 months, I’m getting scared.

I will follow your advice of stopping every kind of drugs, I decided to let the homeostis do its thing recover by itself.

I am atm focusing on eating well, sleeping and trying not to think of it too much but its getting hard. I’ll try the deloading.

If anyone had any similar issue, feel free to chime in. At this point, I’d like to hear some success story.

I can back up my comment with my own success story.

I was an anxious mess after college. Stressed out, burned out, and I lost significant muscle. I tried several drugs for anxiety and depression. It made me even fatter and more anxious. The more shit the doctors prescribed me the more depressed and anxious I got because I was fixated and micromanaging my feelings. If something wasn’t working within a week I had a panic attack. Libido was gone. Then I got on TRT. No improvement. All of this went on for about 4 years.

At the verge of a mental breakdown and marital collapse I decided to just reset my life. I simplified my life as much as possible. I quit working out in favor of just taking walks, switched jobs, completely cut out caffeine, dropped all the antidepressants, and honestly just got lazy as shit.

And man, did that work. Over the course of about a year my sleep started to improve, anxiety went down, morning wood came back. Towards the end of that year depression went away, motivation came back, energy came back, confidence came back and I was ready to bang everything that moved, lol. I used to be fixated on getting jacked, and now I just go with with whatever gains I get. I like my body, I’m still a bit overweight, but I’m handsome and confident like never before. I go through periods of not working out, but my ambition in other areas has skyrocketed.

What I mainly learned from all of that is to just live life and deal with the cards you’re dealt. Have a positive outlook and be grateful for what you have. You can achieve a lot with passion and patience. To me, muscle and money aren’t a marker of manliness or success. What makes you a successful man is your dignity, your honesty, and your fortitude. Once you get to that place, everything will be easy for you.

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Thanks man, I definitely like hearing about your success.

I know that might sound superficial for some but for me libido is highly important and now having it taken from me is the reason I will quit steroids if I ever recover. There’s no point in being jacked and super hot if you can’t do anything with it. And if I have to choose between my body or my libido, I’d rather have my drive back.

I will try and forget it, take a few weeks off working out and eat more (I’m already eating clean but at maintenance). See where it goes.

You’ll get it man. No reason you can’t be both jacked with a huge libido. But get your libido back first, then you can start getting on track again in the correct way.

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Thanks really appreciate you taking the time to read me. I’ll definitely update this post if/when I recover

Sounds good. Don’t forget to post some blood work to make sure your pct worked out.

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While reading this, I got the feeling you tried to fuck yourself up as much as possible. DNP and a suicide cut for 2 weeks?

Then change protocol nearly every week?

Get off everything. Keep calories at or above maintenance. Get a regular sleep schedule. Don’t train too much, maybe two times per week for now. Go for walks. Get your mind off the internet and off of articles. Libido will come back but man, give your body a break. Galgenstrick is absolutely right here.

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What are you bodybuilding goals, serious competition? If not, you are taking too many mg of drugs?

Until recently many pro bodybuilders pre contest wouldn’t be taking as many mg as you did.

I’m no expert. My experience researching and using AAS only goes back a little over a year.

I can only offer what I would do if I were in your shoes. You’re very young. So, I’ll assume you want to live at least a few more decades and retain the ability to father children some day.

I would temporarily stop taking any and all AAS, SERMS, AIs, and supplements. As others have mentioned, I would eat healthy meals at maintenance calories or above, take a couple weeks out of the gym, and then start a well-designed training routine while not pushing yourself extremely hard. In 22 years lifting, I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone say, “Man, I wish I hadn’t done that deload and rested for a couple weeks.”

I would do this (avoid all AAS and ancillaries) for three months and then reassess how I look and feel. If not satisfied, I would get comprehensive labs done. If you can afford/are able to go to a reputable men’s wellness doctor (not a TRT mill) I would take the labs to them. If you can’t afford/aren’t able to go this route, I would share the labs on forums like this one and the TRT forum and ask for veteran’s and medical professionals’ advice. There are some brilliant guys on here, including doctors, PAs, and pharmacists, and even biochemical engineers. I won’t tag them and volunteer their services, but I’m sure if you ask very humbly and politely, they will chime in.

I realize that you will likely resume AAS use some day, even if only TRT doses. I urge you to do so very conservatively. It would be tragic to see a young man lose his ability to father children, or worse, do permanent damage to his body that he will have to live with for decades.

Best of luck to you brother.

Damn man. I haven’t had any libido or sex drive whatsoever since October 2018, and all I took was Ostarine & Finasteride. It fucking sucks. I’m interested to hear how you go, so please do write back to us.

My advice would be to PCT and stop messing around with any compounds or supplements. Just literally do nothing, live an extremely healthy lifestyle, eliminate stress & anxiety, get good sleep every night, and give it time for the body to return to homeostatus. Be patient, let the body heal itself and recover. The body will return to baseline with time, you just need to relax and be patient.

Good luck man