T Nation

No Kids - Any Regrets?

After 10 years of marriage, my wife and I have decided to not have any children due to a genetic condition she has which could have severe health consequences if she gave birth - that and neither of us are really interested in being parents.

So before I head off to get snipped, I was curious if there were many other couples out there that have gone the ‘kid-less’ route, and if so, have you ever had any regrets over the decision? ??

Well, I’m still young and not married (though long-term relationship). I don’t plan on having kids. People say I will change my mind, but it’s unlikely.

kids are a pain in the ass it seems.

not to mention I don’t want to raise a kid in today’s world in the direction it’s going.

my GF on the other hand wanted 4, last GF wanted 3, WTF is wrong with women, lol

From my perspective, you’re doing the planet a great service. I might get flamed for saying this, but in our day and age, kids are mainly to feed one’s ego. And now that women can have fulfilling careers, the little people are not a priority any longer.

With 7 billion people around, it’s not like the species will go extinct any time soon…

Good move not taking a chance passing along a genetic problem.

I am the father of three and for all the ups and downs I cannot imagine life without the little brats. Consider adoption, you won’t regret it.

I have never had any interest whatsoever in having kids and don’t think I ever will. As a matter of fact, I started with zero interest and, after seeing a number of my friends who now have young kids dealing with and talking about them, I know have an interest level of NEGATIVE 10.

One friend of mine has two young kids (ages 3 and 1 and a half), and he absolutely loves kids and always wanted them, but even he advised, “You shouldn’t have kids unless you really, REALLY want them. They’re a real pain in the ass.”

My wife and I don’t want any kids. We discussed this at length before getting married, though. I think that’s important is that both parties share the same viewpoint. Last thing you want to have happen is agree to not having kids and then someone changes their mind shortly after.

I agree wolfpack.

Things are serious with my GF, but I won’t consider engagement until we agree on the kid issue. What’s the point.

I already mentioned to her why are we together if she wants kids and I don’t. She only wants to worry about right now, which I guess is good, but at the same time, if it’s a deal breaker for her, why waste time.

time will tell i guess

[quote]Damici wrote:

One friend of mine has two young kids (ages 3 and 1 and a half), and he absolutely loves kids and always wanted them, but even he advised, “You shouldn’t have kids unless you really, REALLY want them. They’re a real pain in the ass.”
[/quote]

I will second this one. My brother was told by some idiot that he is selfish for not wanting kids. Regardless of whether you have kids or not, the decision is a selfish one. Not selfish in a bad way though. The drive originates with what we want for ourselves.

I have two kids and love them to death. However, it is a hard enough undertaking that I wouldn’t suggest it if you are ambivalent in any way. You may regret it but that wouldn’t be as bad as having them and regretting that. They really can be pains in the ass.

I will probably never have kids, mainly because I have seen what they do to people. Most of the people I know who have kids hate their lives and complain about never having time, money, etc…

My sister has aged like 20 years in the past three trying to handle work, and her son.

I also have had the displeasure of living with people with kids, sometimes I would be forced to babysit and when I did, I felt like killing myself.

2-3 year olds are little fucking shits, I know now why it is called the “terrible twos” those little fuckers can make you want to repeatedly slam your head into a brick wall until you are unconcious.

I don’t think I really “hate” kids. I just find them incredibly annoying and irritating. I simply don’t have the patience for kids, so I don’t think I will ever have any.

I have lived the whole kid thing already through my ex-wife, and being an uncle of two. I have had my fill of children. I am totally content with being that crazy uncle that shows up every thanksgiving and gives noogies and calls all the kids turds and dorks and stuff.

[quote]lixy wrote:
From my perspective, you’re doing the planet a great service. I might get flamed for saying this, but in our day and age, kids are mainly to feed one’s ego. And now that women can have fulfilling careers, the little people are not a priority any longer.

With 7 billion people around, it’s not like the species will go extinct any time soon…[/quote]

But…

Idiots will reproduce 5 times.

So many smart people opting out of it, kind of saddening. How many white trash redneck idiots did I grow up with that already have kids? (I’m 22). It’s nuts. If I don’t have kids, I fear I’m doing the world a grave injustice.

[quote]lixy wrote:
From my perspective, you’re doing the planet a great service. I might get flamed for saying this, but in our day and age, kids are mainly to feed one’s ego. And now that women can have fulfilling careers, the little people are not a priority any longer.

With 7 billion people around, it’s not like the species will go extinct any time soon…[/quote]

Haven’t you seen Idiocracy?

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
I agree wolfpack.

Things are serious with my GF, but I won’t consider engagement until we agree on the kid issue. What’s the point.

I already mentioned to her why are we together if she wants kids and I don’t. She only wants to worry about right now, which I guess is good, but at the same time, if it’s a deal breaker for her, why waste time.

time will tell i guess[/quote]

That’s a tough situation. My bf doesn’t want kids, and has maintained his position on the subject since he was a kid himself. Whenever we get together with family someone brings up when we are having kids. They just can’t seem to believe he won’t change his mind on this one.

I have a daughter from my previous marriage, and I’m good with stopping there. Everyone says he’s so good with her, why not have your own blah, blah, blah.
Hope you GF comes to see that when you say you don’t want children, that’s not going to change. It’s pretty much a deal breaker otherwise.
good luck

I’ve wanted kids for the longest time, but as I get older I’m changing my mind.

I simply cannot stand people that just go on and on about their children like I give a shit. Wow, you reproduced, congratufuckinglations. However did you manage this feat of near impossibility?

I deal daily with people who do nothing more but having pissing contests over who’s child is more perfect than the other. “Little Billy is graduating college next year, and he’s only 8 years old!” “That’s nothing! Our little Jane can’t even walk but speaks 9 languages and can solve for X!”

Where’s George Carlin when you need him?

[quote]msd0060 wrote:
lixy wrote:
From my perspective, you’re doing the planet a great service. I might get flamed for saying this, but in our day and age, kids are mainly to feed one’s ego. And now that women can have fulfilling careers, the little people are not a priority any longer.

With 7 billion people around, it’s not like the species will go extinct any time soon…

But…

Idiots will reproduce 5 times.

So many smart people opting out of it, kind of saddening. How many white trash redneck idiots did I grow up with that already have kids? (I’m 22). It’s nuts. If I don’t have kids, I fear I’m doing the world a grave injustice.[/quote]

I was looking at from the burden-on-the-planet perspective, not the dumbing-down-of-society bit.

With regards to outbreeding the idiots and mentally sick, I’m afraid that battle was lost right from the start. Cases like Josef Fritzl’s illustrate that perfectly.

I’ll say it again, having kids is all about one’s ego. When you look at the millions of children starving to death, babies ditched in garbage bins (it’s a common sight in India and China) and the burden Humanity is imposing on Earth’s ecosystem, there aren’t many reasons why you’d have to have kids besides: 1) ego 2) pursuit of eternal life 3) God told me so 4) you’re poor and you see it as an insurance for when you grow older 5) you’re rich and you got bored with pets.

I dramatize of course, but that’s the general idea. Even when people aren’t actually thinking that, instincts subconsciously kick in to make the decision for them. Any anthropologists around?

Lixy you don’t have to worry about having kids…being gay and all.

[quote]dk44 wrote:
Lixy you don’t have to worry about having kids…being gay and all. [/quote]

Haha!

[quote]msd0060 wrote:
lixy wrote:
From my perspective, you’re doing the planet a great service. I might get flamed for saying this, but in our day and age, kids are mainly to feed one’s ego. And now that women can have fulfilling careers, the little people are not a priority any longer.

With 7 billion people around, it’s not like the species will go extinct any time soon…

But…

Idiots will reproduce 5 times.

So many smart people opting out of it, kind of saddening. How many white trash redneck idiots did I grow up with that already have kids? (I’m 22). It’s nuts. If I don’t have kids, I fear I’m doing the world a grave injustice.[/quote]

My sentiments exactly… I’ll quote a line from a song from the early 90’s. Don’t remember who the artist was.

“I’ve been all around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding”…

It’s a shame that many smart people share the same notion. I guess I’m becoming a skeptic, but the world does seem to be becoming full of morally challenged morons.

[quote]eric_lacrosse wrote:
It’s a shame that many smart people share the same notion. I guess I’m becoming a skeptic, but the world does seem to be becoming full of morally challenged morons. [/quote]

And that’s how specimens like dk44 emerge.

i agree with lixy. how can you have a kid when there are so many out there that could use a good home.

to say it’s your biological kid? I know I’m different on this issue, but that’s how I look at it.

looks like my family name dies with me, lol I’m the only grandson

[quote]Malevolence wrote:
Haven’t you seen Idiocracy? [/quote]

Really good movie to bring up. It raises a very realistic point about what our society may become in the future. I almost wish I didn’t see it as it was so depressing.