T Nation

No Desire for Gifts Anymore

One of my friends has recently asked me what I would like for Christmas. Why so early? I have answer or even the slightest idea, but that is besides the point. The point is that I could not come up with an answer.

I have just realized that I do not have any desire for a material gift from anyone anymore. I am tired of being handed things that I did not work for. I want to actually start becoming independent, although I know that I won’t be until later. I want to start earning things on my own. (I would have a job, but football really prevents me from having any significant free time.)

When I was younger, I went crazy over Christmas, my birthday, and any other holidays that I got presents on. Now, however, I do not find any desire for the presents associated with these holidays. I now think of Christmas as more of a religious holiday for myself, and I don’t even care about my birthday besides that fact that it allows me to gain more responsibility.

No point to writing this though. I just thought that I would experience a feeling in my life that I thought would never come.

All I want is the time off from work! I could care less about gifts.

I have the same problem. Every year people ask me what I need/want… I had a birthday a few weeks ago and I think people are finally getting the idea, since no one really tried to get me anything (though my little sister got me an electric mixer, good thougts)

The reality is, I am a nomadic college student that doesn’t have the money to utilize many gifts I would want or the space to keep the others. I don’t really have the time for any new toys, and I have everything I need to live within my current means.

Really, the only thing I continually need is food, so I’ve just been asking everyone for cookies.

All I’d want would be:

Beef Jerky
Gold Toe Socks
Flip Flops/Sandals

But normally, I just don’t care. I prefer giving gifts then receiving.

I don’t need anything, and everything I want (squat rack) is too expensive or too personal to ask for from anyone other than my husband or myself.

We have friends who cat sit for us, and we cat sit for them. They always bring us some thanks present from where ever they visited (like um, chocolate covered pretzels, peach candy, alcohol - gee thanks - bloat!) while we always try to take them out for dinner or something along those lines. I much prefer spending my money with the people I love, rather than trying to anticipate what they might like.

On the same point, my hippie sister in law recently asked us to not give the niece and nephews material presents - which is REALLY hard for us, since the kids have nothing other than dirt and sticks at their house…

I suppose it ultimately depends on the relationship. With people I don’t really like, give me a gift card. With people I love, use the gift card with me. :slight_smile:

I asked for a pair of Adistar lifting shoes for my birthday.

Also, I usually ask for cash. I just deposit in one of my bank accounts I never look at/touch and forget about it.

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

On the same point, my hippie sister in law recently asked us to not give the niece and nephews material presents - which is REALLY hard for us, since the kids have nothing other than dirt and sticks at their house…

Props to you for being able to do this. I’m dirt poor and still can’t go shopping without thinking “my nephew would really like this”.

Well, the problem is, I see all sorts of stuff my niece would like (btw, born 14 weeks early, weighed under 1.5 lbs at birth, yeah, she shouldn’t be here), but people look at me funny when I wear fairy wings and ruby slippers. So I can’t get it for me. :wink:

That kid isn’t going to be spoiled by her parents, and I just wish they would let me spoil her twice a year.

I would gladly go without my own purchases to establish funding for her future - my parents are already doing this, and I’m administrator - but because her parents (namely, my brother) are potheads with really poor business brains, I don’t want to put any money anywhere where they can get at it.

My other niece has the opposite situation - parents with a 1.5 million house with no mortgage at the age of 35 - but we buy her goofy spoiled kid presents and she uses them to complete a toddler triathlon. It’s a different world.

I’m hijacking the thread bitching about parenting techniques. Please continue discussing gifting and how it makes you feel, deep inside.

Last christmas I couldn’t really decide what I wanted either…I ended up asking for lifting chalk and money to buy new t-shirts.

Yeah I always feel all weird when people buy me things. Like my GF bought me an IPOD for the gym last Christmas and it really made me feel weird. Like…almost emotional or something. Hate that shit.

For the first time in 2 years I know what I want for my bday

A car with a tank full of gasoline

I wouldn’t mind another 24" monitor. An Ipod touch might be nice too.

I’d really like a PS3 or a new graphics card, but I won’t ask for them because games are a pretty bad waste of time.

I need some clothes, but I wouldn’t want someone else to buy for me.

Money is the most useful but it ruins the spirit of Christmas to give each other money.

I’m at the point in my life where I don’t really need anything as far as gifts go, but it’s always nice when I get something.

For example, for my birthday my friends bought me The Watchmen and another Star Wars novel that were on my Amazon wish list. Another friend got me a gift card for the movie theater down the street. They didn’t have to get me anything, but it was still a nice gesture.

I do prefer to give gifts at this point though. I hate giving cash or gift cards. I know sometimes you have to if you’re short on time or just plain stumped for gift ideas, but they are just so impersonal. I much prefer to put the effort in finding a nice gift for friends and family. It’s more rewarding in the end.

[quote]analog_kid wrote:
All I want is the time off from work! I could care less about gifts. [/quote]

same, for my birthday ppl have continually asked me what I wanted just responded come out for drinks, all i want. Most times people either dont get me what I want or its too expensive and I dont like charity

All the things I want in life are either intangibles or hideously expensive.

You can have a warm glow of self satisfaction OR a $500 an hour gold-plated hooker, not both, it seems.

Welcome to adulthood.

Christmas/birthday gifts are for children.

[quote]ukrainian wrote:
I am tired of being handed things that I did not work for. I want to actually start becoming independent

You aren’t a democrat are you?

The only gifts I desire are ones that didn’t require any input from me beforehand. And if someone actually made something for me, I’d keep it forever and treat it like treasure.

My favorite gifts to give are based off past experiences/comments/conversations with the receiver, not outright requests.

For xmas this year me, my girlfriend and our family just are doing a “grab” where you just get one person and there is a $50 limit on it.

no reason to go broke b/c it’s winter.

plus, if you don’t put a cap on things…then you are basically buying a gift for yourself that you wouldn’t buy normally because it’s too expensive. (by that i mean, if you want ps3 and your girl gets it…you’re going to have to; or might feel obligated, get something as expensive)

You’ve touched a nerve…

I recently sent this email to my family:

“Yo…‘Sister Say’ asked yesterday what I wanted for my birthday. I honestly REALLY don’t want anything and think we should disband giving each other presents. In exchange for material goods we could agree to let the gift-recievee get their way and not be subjected to any family torture on their gift-getting day, or if the gift-giver is feeling particularly generous we could expand that to a week.”

Now…there is a bit of smartass in this, but in reply to this email I got back from my brother:

“Why are you so bitter towards this family?”

I didn’t really know what to make of this. So I wrote back:

“I’m not bitter. I don’t have enough time to be bitter. I love everyone.”

To which he wrote back:


On my actualy birthday, I got a 2 page epistle from my mother telling her she loves me and how ‘profound’ that is and she doesn’t know if I understand that and we should take a long lunch sometime and discuss it.

I had no fucking idea how to reply to that and still haven’t.

Anyway…giving gifts to adults on birthdays and at Christmas is gay, a waste of money and causes way more fucking problems than it is worth. I don’t fucking understand it.