No Child support !! If You Have a Penis

Off Topic
21

[quote]Rockscar wrote:
It TOTALLY sucks.

After tax dollars I owed per mo:

1700 Child Support (2 kids)
700 Alimony (To Slut)
$2,400 total after-tax dollars per mo.

If you make bank and all the bacon and wifey is at home raising children among other things…you get fucked…DP’d!

Luckily I lost my job after 2 years of paying that, then got a new one making 63% less than I did before, so I don’t owe jack! Not that I planned it that way.[/quote]

Yep, you got fucked.

But I am wondering about the OP’s situation. If she owes 20g in child support, and since the state is the intermediate between payment and parent, how is it that there has been no legal action on behalf of the state against her? As for the abuse, why not take custody? CS payments and custody can be re-visited and let’s just say it sounds like they should be in your case.

22

holey fucking shit. 2400 a month tax free for her, just to sit on her ass.

not sure why I got remarried. the fact that we don’t have kids or a house together, and we make equal incomes, if not for that I would NEVER have gotten remarried.

My new wifey was hot (and still bugs me now and again but not as much) early on to have a baby with me, for many reasons, most of which has to do with my two daughters that I do not get to spend as much time with as I want or need too as it is,

but also because I would NEVER give another female that kind of power over me. If they bear your children, as X said, they can screw you for 18 years if they choose to.

if you are one of the lucky ones who have not been screwed, you are lucky and believe me, anytime the ex wants to fuck with you they can.

23

[quote]bulldog9899 wrote:
I have a question. Why the hell is it? If a man gets behind on child support by just a little bit. The justice system will go after them with guns blazing. A guy I know just spent the weekend in jail over back child support of a total of $500. But ! My ex wife is behind well over $20,000 now . How does that work?[/quote]

You need to go to the courthouse family self help center and file a claim. Not that you want to put the mom of your kids in jail, but it all comes down to who takes legal action over the other in order to get payments. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

The fact you have not sought it out in court tells me you didn’t want to take advantage of the situation, which is commendable as a father.

With the abuse charge, I think you could gain 100% custody with supervised visitation for her. This may show how much she is into the new hubby. She should drop him like a habit if he’s the one causing her kids to be taken away legally.

24

But it eventually comes down to the kids not money. Yank those kids from her and cite the abuse by the new husband…but that will open a new can of worms…

25

My friend just got divorced and went thru a custody battle. The reason she filed for divorce? He wasn’t participating in the family and being an active parent. She moves out of the house and all of a sudden he wants to be World’s Best Dad and spend time with the kids. When at his house the kids (3 of them under 5) cannot go outside, cannot do after school activities, cannot have friends over, they must do something inside with him.

Now these kids have been everywhere, and are extremely active. I can’t imagine what they think when they go to their dad’s and have to stay inside. Thankfully, my friend was granted full physical custody and final decision on everything. He gets them every other Thursday-Monday, and alternating Wednesdays. The thing is: he’s Muslim, from Senegal. If he decided to take the kids there and then move back there, my friend would not be able to get them back. Kind of like that Sally Field movie “Not Without My Daughter.”

26

Not to take away from men’s predicaments, but my sister in Texas is getting screwed by her husband who got custody and gets child support, and because he gets free legal for being a fireman, takes her to court regularly for more child support if he hears from his kids that she might have gotten a raise. He also took the kids out of the country with out telling my sister where (which is illegal) and denies my sister visitation. My sister cannot afford the legal fees of trying to fight him on this in court.

27

[quote]Rockscar wrote:

[quote]bulldog9899 wrote:
I have a question. Why the hell is it? If a man gets behind on child support by just a little bit. The justice system will go after them with guns blazing. A guy I know just spent the weekend in jail over back child support of a total of $500. But ! My ex wife is behind well over $20,000 now . How does that work?[/quote]

You need to go to the courthouse family self help center and file a claim. Not that you want to put the mom of your kids in jail, but it all comes down to who takes legal action over the other in order to get payments. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

The fact you have not sought it out in court tells me you didn’t want to take advantage of the situation, which is commendable as a father.

With the abuse charge, I think you could gain 100% custody with supervised visitation for her. This may show how much she is into the new hubby. She should drop him like a habit if he’s the one causing her kids to be taken away legally.[/quote]

Absolutely. If she can’t afford the payments, then re-visit the agreement.

It takes some time to get 20g in the hole with CS. If the ex is uncooperative in general (and it sounds as if there have been issues), I wouldn’t give her the chance to get 2 weeks behind before bringing the late payment to the attention of the state (If the ex cannot be reasoned with, and is uncooperative and a bitch in general, then slap them up with the law).

And yeah, again, why not file for full custody? How a woman can put up with anyone beating on her kid is beyond me.

28

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Not to take away from men’s predicaments, but my sister in Texas is getting screwed by her husband who got custody and gets child support, and because he gets free legal for being a fireman, takes her to court regularly for more child support if he hears from his kids that she might have gotten a raise. He also took the kids out of the country with out telling my sister where (which is illegal) and denies my sister visitation. My sister cannot afford the legal fees of trying to fight him on this in court.[/quote]

Is there no form of legal aid available to your sister in regards to the kids leaving the country? Maybe she can ask for possession of the child’s passport, or have it held by a trustee?
She could circumvent this by just declaring any pay raises to the state, no? How does it cost her money in legal fees if he takes her to court over nothing (no pay raise)?
Thanks, I am just curious about the way things work in the US in regards to CS and custody.

29

That sucks OP. The system is definitely stacked against men. A family member of mine used to work in child placement and foster care (after a stint as a child abuse investigator). One time she told me a story that blew my mind away. (It’s been awhile, so I might confuse a little of the story).

A father and mother had “issues” at the time of birth. So the mom never put the dad’s name on the birth certificate. Well over the years they made it work and lived together for 7 years but were never married. The mother got sick and died. Well it turns out the man couldn’t take custody of the children until it was “proven” he was the father. He had raised the kids for their whole lives but they had to go into the foster system until a paternity test could be done, which was, apparently, a lengthy process…or at least it seemed that way when your kids are in a foster-care system instead of under your roof. My family member told me she almost paid for the guy’s test herself b/c she thought it was such bullshit but, apparently, that too was illegal or against some regulations or something as she was the person who placed the children.

The system needs to change.

30

[quote]dianab wrote:

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Not to take away from men’s predicaments, but my sister in Texas is getting screwed by her husband who got custody and gets child support, and because he gets free legal for being a fireman, takes her to court regularly for more child support if he hears from his kids that she might have gotten a raise. He also took the kids out of the country with out telling my sister where (which is illegal) and denies my sister visitation. My sister cannot afford the legal fees of trying to fight him on this in court.[/quote]

Is there no form of legal aid available to your sister in regards to the kids leaving the country? Maybe she can ask for possession of the child’s passport, or have it held by a trustee?
She could circumvent this by just declaring any pay raises to the state, no? How does it cost her money in legal fees if he takes her to court over nothing (no pay raise)?
Thanks, I am just curious about the way things work in the US in regards to CS and custody.[/quote]

Well, they see the same judge every time and he has yet to side against the husband even when it is clear he has broken the custody agreement. So my wife has to pay the legal fees and he does not. My sister makes decent money pre-child support, not much money afterward. Too much pre- for legal aid.

31

[quote]Gambit_Lost wrote:
That sucks OP. The system is definitely stacked against men. A family member of mine used to work in child placement and foster care (after a stint as a child abuse investigator). One time she told me a story that blew my mind away. (It’s been awhile, so I might confuse a little of the story).

A father and mother had “issues” at the time of birth. So the mom never put the dad’s name on the birth certificate. Well over the years they made it work and lived together for 7 years but were never married. The mother got sick and died. Well it turns out the man couldn’t take custody of the children until it was “proven” he was the father. He had raised the kids for their whole lives but they had to go into the foster system until a paternity test could be done, which was, apparently, a lengthy process…or at least it seemed that way when your kids are in a foster-care system instead of under your roof. My family member told me she almost paid for the guy’s test herself b/c she thought it was such bullshit but, apparently, that too was illegal or against some regulations or something as she was the person who placed the children.

The system needs to change. [/quote]

In NY they do not ask the women the name of the father or his blood type, even though it is important. Why? Because we surmise too many times the father and the husband had different names.

32

for all the females on this thread who have a story about a mom getting worked over in the family courts after a divorce, cry me a river and give me a fucking break.

for every one of those stories there is over 100 that goes the other way.

I lived this, and did tons of research, the fact is that not just the majority of times, but the VAST majority of time, fathers get a raw deal in family court.

a father’s role in the development of the child is thrown out the window and the father is reduced to just an financial asset for the divorce attorneys and the mom to seize.

I am going to bow out of this thread now, I am sure somebody will add their two cents about how moms get worked too, well, fuck that.

it happens way, way more often to dads, and it is a very emotional and touchy subject to me.

I know in my heart that I am a better parent than my ex, and I know my girls would be thriving if they lived with me full time.

but because I have a penis, the cards were stacked against me all the time.\

my ex came busting into my house while the kids were with me during my legal time with them and literally, literally RIPPED my 2 year old from my arms, if I had not let go of her, her arms probabley would have been dislocated.

I called the police, and they told me that it sucked, but if anyone was going to jail it was me, because: “I just cant hand cuff these little girls mommy and take her away in front of them sir, sorry”

went through 3 attorneys, because each one I felt was not trying hard enough to get me either joint physical custody, until the last one was frank with me,

'unless you have video of mom doing crack IN FRONT of the kids, you are going to get visitation and have to pay child support, I will be glad to take a lot of money from you, but that is how it will end up regardless"

so I will post no more on this subject, say whatever you want, but I know I am right, and I feel myself getting angry and fighting back tears just thinking about this stuff again.

Dads, do not take ONE FUCKING MINUTE you have with your kids for granted, because it can be taken from you much easier than you think.

carry on…

33

[quote]heavythrower wrote:
for all the females on this thread who have a story about a mom getting worked over in the family courts after a divorce, cry me a river and give me a fucking break.

for every one of those stories there is over 100 that goes the other way.

I lived this, and did tons of research, the fact is that not just the majority of times, but the VAST majority of time, fathers get a raw deal in family court.

a father’s role in the development of the child is thrown out the window and the father is reduced to just an financial asset for the divorce attorneys and the mom to seize.

I am going to bow out of this thread now, I am sure somebody will add their two cents about how moms get worked too, well, fuck that.

it happens way, way more often to dads, and it is a very emotional and touchy subject to me.

I know in my heart that I am a better parent than my ex, and I know my girls would be thriving if they lived with me full time.

but because I have a penis, the cards were stacked against me all the time.\

my ex came busting into my house while the kids were with me during my legal time with them and literally, literally RIPPED my 2 year old from my arms, if I had not let go of her, her arms probabley would have been dislocated.

I called the police, and they told me that it sucked, but if anyone was going to jail it was me, because: “I just cant hand cuff these little girls mommy and take her away in front of them sir, sorry”

went through 3 attorneys, because each one I felt was not trying hard enough to get me either joint physical custody, until the last one was frank with me,

'unless you have video of mom doing crack IN FRONT of the kids, you are going to get visitation and have to pay child support, I will be glad to take a lot of money from you, but that is how it will end up regardless"

so I will post no more on this subject, say whatever you want, but I know I am right, and I feel myself getting angry and fighting back tears just thinking about this stuff again.

Dads, do not take ONE FUCKING MINUTE you have with your kids for granted, because it can be taken from you much easier than you think.

carry on…[/quote]

I have heard the same from so many people that it does act as a deterrence to going down that road.

I am sorry about what you have had to deal with and I think it will only change once more guys figure it out and either start making prenupts a normal part of marriage or start avoiding it altogether on paper.

I will say this though…I fee it is very irresponsible for people to log in and write how great their own situation is as if what you wrote is not what happens in most cases. Things like that seemed designed to get guys to ignore the risks involved as if they don’t matter or as if divorce is such a minor concern that you shouldn’t even think about that possibility…because it means you don’t love her enough.

34

[quote]Grneyes wrote:
Thankfully, my friend was granted full physical custody and final decision on everything. [/quote]

And the above about sums up the female perspective on these things.

35

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Not to take away from men’s predicaments, but my sister in Texas is getting screwed by her husband who got custody and gets child support, and because he gets free legal for being a fireman, takes her to court regularly for more child support if he hears from his kids that she might have gotten a raise. He also took the kids out of the country with out telling my sister where (which is illegal) and denies my sister visitation. My sister cannot afford the legal fees of trying to fight him on this in court.[/quote]

Well then your sister is acquainted with the suffering usually reserved for men.

36

[quote]Gambit_Lost wrote:
That sucks OP. The system is definitely stacked against men. A family member of mine used to work in child placement and foster care (after a stint as a child abuse investigator). One time she told me a story that blew my mind away. (It’s been awhile, so I might confuse a little of the story).

A father and mother had “issues” at the time of birth. So the mom never put the dad’s name on the birth certificate. Well over the years they made it work and lived together for 7 years but were never married. The mother got sick and died. Well it turns out the man couldn’t take custody of the children until it was “proven” he was the father. He had raised the kids for their whole lives but they had to go into the foster system until a paternity test could be done, which was, apparently, a lengthy process…or at least it seemed that way when your kids are in a foster-care system instead of under your roof. My family member told me she almost paid for the guy’s test herself b/c she thought it was such bullshit but, apparently, that too was illegal or against some regulations or something as she was the person who placed the children.

The system needs to change. [/quote]

I’m betting there was more to the story than that. They don’t take kids away for no reason and without cause, especially if there is other family around to take them in.

37

I suggest all young T-Nation Bachelors not come into this thread if you want to get married lol. I just did and its depressing lol

38

Don’t get me started… I got the SHAFT - in the divorce and the alimony/child support. When you have assets, the fucking system just feels entitled to fuck you. She was the one cheating, but since I left, I “abandoned” her! Fucking bullshit. I was cracking a six G nut every month between alimony and CS AFTER losing almost half a million dollars and my house in the divorce. (and when the market tanked and along with it, my income, the courts didn’t give a SHIT about MY financial situation - I guess they figured I could just SHIT the money) What’s even more fucked up is that in less than three years, she blew the divorce money (on Land Rovers and Gucci bags) and doesn’t have SHIT. That just AMAZES me!

But fortune smiled on me and gave my EX cancer. The asshole she was cheating on me with left her. I won’t go into the details, but my lawyers and I were able to “revisit” the situation and I am, shall we say, very happy with the results (I got full custody of my youngest). She is getting better (because of treatments I paid for), which is a good thing because I don’t want my kids to have to go through the alternative.

I wish there was something that we men could do to influence the system to make it one that was actually FAIR.

39

[quote]Grneyes wrote:
My friend just got divorced and went thru a custody battle. The reason she filed for divorce? He wasn’t participating in the family and being an active parent. She moves out of the house and all of a sudden he wants to be World’s Best Dad and spend time with the kids. When at his house the kids (3 of them under 5) cannot go outside, cannot do after school activities, cannot have friends over, they must do something inside with him. Now these kids have been everywhere, and are extremely active. I can’t imagine what they think when they go to their dad’s and have to stay inside. Thankfully, my friend was granted full physical custody and final decision on everything. He gets them every other Thursday-Monday, and alternating Wednesdays. The thing is: he’s Muslim, from Senegal. If he decided to take the kids there and then move back there, my friend would not be able to get them back. Kind of like that Sally Field movie “Not Without My Daughter.”[/quote]

Whats being Muslim have to do with the issue?

40

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Not to take away from men’s predicaments, but my sister in Texas is getting screwed by her husband who got custody and gets child support, and because he gets free legal for being a fireman, takes her to court regularly for more child support if he hears from his kids that she might have gotten a raise. He also took the kids out of the country with out telling my sister where (which is illegal) and denies my sister visitation. My sister cannot afford the legal fees of trying to fight him on this in court.[/quote]

Well then your sister is acquainted with the suffering usually reserved for men.[/quote]

I, nor I think she, would disagree. My point is once custody is established is appears to be rather one-sided legal process. If the system is to be made fair than it cannot be a mother v. father issue, but fair to all the parents involved.