No Balls Allowed

I know the whole “pussification of kids these days” thing has been done, but this came up in conversation the other day and was just blown away by the asstacular stupidity of it all. My boss coaches his kid’s soccer team: boys under 12.

He suggested that his boy take a ball to school to run some basic drills at recess for a little extra practice. His son said they weren’t allowed to have soccer balls (or any balls except Nerf-type) at school because it is “too dangerous”.

At first my boss called bullshit, but upon further investigation, apparently it’s true. Is this as out there as it sounds to me or is this crap actually normal now?

Seriously?!

What.

The.

Fuck?

I’ve got the feeling that going to court for stupid things is what is behind this.

Kid gets injured at school for any reason = Parents sue school = School has to pay lots of money.
Solution? Take away anything that could be remotely dangerous.

Is this in Brampton, Ontario?

A principal there recently banned any kind of ball on school premises (“too dangerous”). There’s no way the rule will stick.

Eh…nerf is cool.

Can’t break windows with them and you can definitely get some good games with them

Shouldn’t alarm you…have him get a nerf if he’s only doing drills and shit anyway who cares?

[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:
Is this in Brampton, Ontario?

A principal there recently banned any kind of ball on school premises (“too dangerous”). There’s no way the rule will stick.[/quote]

Actually it was the Brampton thing that caused me to bring it up, but we’re nowhere near there. My boss then informed me of the deal at his kid’s school. Sounds like it’s been that way for a while. I don’t know all the details. It sounded like maybe balls are allowed in gym and just not at recess, but I’m really not sure.

On a related note, I do the Big Brothers thing and my little guy goes to a completely different school where there is a no touching rule. Period. Like not even tag. So the ball thing, ridiculous as it is, becomes a bit more credible. Sucks for these kids, man.

Sooooo, no more dodge ball in PE?

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
Eh…nerf is cool.

Can’t break windows with them and you can definitely get some good games with them

Shouldn’t alarm you…have him get a nerf if he’s only doing drills and shit anyway who cares?
[/quote]

Good point. I’ll suggest that. I’m not really alarmed, it just sounds kinda stupid to me. I think if you remove everything from a kid’s environment that might cause the slightest bump or ding, you’re not doing the kid any favours. That’s all.

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
Eh…nerf is cool.

Can’t break windows with them and you can definitely get some good games with them

Shouldn’t alarm you…have him get a nerf if he’s only doing drills and shit anyway who cares?
[/quote]

  1. Soak Nerf ball in water
  2. Freeze
  3. Profits

[quote]Edevus wrote:
I’ve got the feeling that going to court for stupid things is what is behind this.

Kid gets injured at school for any reason = Parents sue school = School has to pay lots of money.
Solution? Take away anything that could be remotely dangerous.
[/quote]

Th!s

As a general rule, it’s best to stay out of Peel region.

[quote]therajraj wrote:
As a general rule, it’s best to stay out of Peel region.[/quote]
avoid ontario as a whole

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
Sooooo, no more dodge ball in PE?[/quote]

FUCK!!!

Between 6 & 9 dodgeball was the best fucking game on earth when it was to cold or rainy to go outside. Run, duck, dodge, leap, stab, shank, elbow, catch, throw. Everything a healthy child needed to burn off some energy and go back to class ready to learn.

Damn that shit was fun.

[quote]four60 wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
Sooooo, no more dodge ball in PE?[/quote]

FUCK!!!

Between 6 & 9 dodgeball was the best fucking game on earth when it was to cold or rainy to go outside. Run, duck, dodge, leap, stab, shank, elbow, catch, throw. Everything a healthy child needed to burn off some energy and go back to class ready to learn.

Damn that shit was fun.[/quote]
Hell yeah.

And Pirate Treasure; a bean bag with a “pirate” gaurding it surrounded by a group of kids competing to steal the treasure and become the pirate. It got rough.

King of the hill

Kickball (throwing some one out)

Tug of war…

I guess its all videogames and patty cakes these days.

Hopefully UIL sanctioned sports don’t go extinct.

[quote]rehanb_bl wrote:

[quote]therajraj wrote:
As a general rule, it’s best to stay out of Peel region.[/quote]
avoid ontario as a whole[/quote]

Only livable province.

"PimpBot5000 wrote:
Is this in Brampton, Ontario?

A principal there recently banned any kind of ball on school premises (“too dangerous”). There’s no way the rule will stick."

Actually it was the Brampton thing that caused me to bring it up, but we’re nowhere near there. My boss then informed me of the deal at his kid’s school. Sounds like it’s been that way for a while. I don’t know all the details. It sounded like maybe balls are allowed in gym and just not at recess, but I’m really not sure.

On a related note, I do the Big Brothers thing and my little guy goes to a completely different school where there is a no touching rule. Period. Like not even tag. So the ball thing, ridiculous as it is, becomes a bit more credible. Sucks for these kids, man.

We never played much dodgeball, but I’m from Toronto and when I was in grade 7&8 we used to play british bulldog. For those of you who don’t know what that is, you have one kid trying to catch and tackle any of the players, who are attempting to run from one side of the field to the other. upon being tackled a player becomes an accomplice, and it continues until one kid remains- this player becomes the new bulldog.

For kids who grew out without much organized football or rugby in their lives, british bulldog at lunch was the easiest way for kids that age (remember, boys at that age are just starting puberty, with the associated extreme hormonal metamorphosis) to do violence unto each other in relative safety (adults around, no intention of permanent injury, etc).

Not all the schools forbid fun, don’t worry.

Dodgeball has been out for several years now, since it ‘allows the bigger stronger kids to isolate and humiliate the smaller, weaker kids’.

F*&^ that noise. I was the smaller, weaker kid, and I LOVED dodgeball. I wasn’t real good at catching, and I couldn’t throw real hard either, but damn if I couldn’t dodge like crazy. I was usually one of the last kids in, just from dodging.

[quote]boatguy wrote:
Dodgeball has been out for several years now, since it ‘allows the bigger stronger kids to isolate and humiliate the smaller, weaker kids’.

F*&^ that noise. I was the smaller, weaker kid, and I LOVED dodgeball. I wasn’t real good at catching, and I couldn’t throw real hard either, but damn if I couldn’t dodge like crazy. I was usually one of the last kids in, just from dodging.[/quote]

^ Adapt an overcome.

Great Stuff.

Don’t know if it’s the same school, but I heard something on the news the other day about a school where a parent on her way into the building got hit in the back of the head by a soccer ball. As a result, the school banned the use of any kind of ball, much to the outrage of kids and their parents.

This kind of thing is just nuts. I mean, if this parent had accidentally been hit by a car in the parking lot, would the school have banned cars and told everyone they must come to school on foot? What if she had caught her shoe on something and tripped, would the school have banned the wearing of shoes?

Accidents happen. Their reaction defies all logic.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say they probably don’t allow them to play smear the queer anymore. Not because its dangerous, but because it would be considered a hate crime.