Ouch, I only went 8 of 8 in week one. If I had reversed all my picks, I'd have been... let me see... 8 of 8 as well. Funny ol' thing, math.
The recap of the ones I missed: The Giants, in spite of Eli's usual subpar skills, won. Eli truly reeked. The guy tickled 50% at what, 125 yards in the air? Something like that.
The Lions apparently are offended that St. Louis is trying to knock them from their title of Worst Team Ever in the History of Syndicated Team Athletics, so they rolled over to let their pups nurse.
Seattle is a pack of punks.
The Chargers barely lost in a non-snoozer, which means they were annihilated, as far as I am concerned.
The Colts let the Bears outscore them...I can come up with no harsher commentary.
The Raiders lost at home to a pack of tools. They will compete with St. Louis for worst record this season.
Now, for Week 2:
Titans at Bengals: Well, the Titans' starting QB is out, so normally you'd have to give it to Cincy at home. But man, they reek. Nevertheless, Bengals by 4.
Bills at Jaguars: I have to pick, here? Hmmm.... Jaguars by 1. You ain't getting a spread outta me on this one.
Raiders at Chiefs: Chiefs by 3. This is another pickum, really. A classic AFL rivalry. The Chiefs, though, are the epicenter of near-constant season and career ending injuries. No lie. Every season they lose someone a career, either their own or the other teams'. Last week, they took Brady out for the season. Next week, someone will get paralyzed. That spells EXCITEMENT.
Colts at Vikings: Although the road picks burn me, I have to go with the Colts by 4.
Bears at Panthers: No way can the Bears pull it out of their crack twice. Panthers by 3. If the Panthers lose this one after slopping one out of San Diego last week, I will petition the U.S. government to send Sherman through the entire South again.
Packers at Lions: Packers by 21. Yeah, THAT'S WHAT I SAID, BRETT ERVIN. Your lions let me down last week.
Giants at Rams: Wow... I had vowed to never pick the Giants, but they're playing the Rams... Oh, well.. Rams by 2!
Saints at Redskins: Sheesh. Are the Redskins for real? Are the Saints? Can both lose? Redskins by 3.
49'ers at Seahawks: Seattle by 7. Ooooooh yeah... Brave spread. Bet you wish I gambled, eh?
Falcons at Buccaneers: Tampa Bay by 7. Another FEARLESS spread.
Patriots at Jets: Wow... See, the Pats' QB hasn't started a game since the CLINTON administration. The Jets have Favre. I have to go with the Jets at home, by 3.
Chargers at Broncos: Broncos by 1. What? You got a better spread?
Dolphins at Cardinals: Do the Dolphins play badly enough to lose to the Cardinals? I think they do! Cardinals by 3.
Ravens at Texans: Why, oh why, must they play these games? With the exception of Ray Lewis potentially killing a man on the field, this game holds no reason whatsoever for anyone to watch. Ravens by 6. Another FEARLESS spread.
Steelers at Browns: Steelers by 28. This time, I am serious.
Eagles at Dallas: Both teams played ghosts last week and dominated. Both are overconfident. The Eagles will recover from the shock of a real opponent first. Eagles by 4.