T Nation

Newest Internet Douchebag


#1

This guy is my new hero!

fark headline: "If you are an Ivy League grad with a high-rise condo and an 8.9 rating on HotOrNot, don't advertise it... or failarity will ensue"

http://gawker.com/news/douchebags/nightmare-online-dater-john-fitzgerald-page-is-the-worst-person-in-the-world-309684.php

his personal website:
http://johnfitzgeraldpage.com/default.aspx


#2

The fitness section of his web site. ROFLOL. Yes this guy is a giant douche bag.


#3

Wow, he's fucking hyooooge


#4

I just read the blog too. This guy's the epitome of "douche". What a fuckin homo.

The posts at the end of the blog were pretty funny.


#5

Did you see the calves on that beast? I guess it helped him land that Chess King modeling gig. When you think it's impossible to discover the world's biggest douche, the internet steps up strong and proves you wrong.


#6

Ahahaha! Your avatar!

Classic.


#7

I aspire to be him some day. A model AND an actor? what type of super-human can accomplish this feat?


#8

Are these the wheels you're referring to? And yes, that's a classic avatar.


#9

Yup, look at the size of that thing!

Wait. It gets better. Much, much better:

http://www.geocities.com/johnfpage/

We all have a lot of catching up to do.


#10

My step-dad is a Mensa member, but what amazes me is that his intelligence is limited to everything except other humans. Obviously the same goes for this guy -- he is smart and dedicated, but too full of himself to realize he's an annoying, boring douche bag that women are afraid of.


#11

I don't know if "afraid" is the right word.


#12

Well, he's definitely flexed in a lot of cities. Somewhere along the line he also caught a case of the ghey.


#13

Thumbing through his "movies" still shots I just had a flashback. I was fitness director of a gym at the time and was interviewing this guy as a personal trainer. In his personal training resume was the usual stuff, but instead of client testimonials or something you would normally see, he had the following:

two pages of vidcaps of him as an extra in "The Program". And not as an extra running plays or training of any kind. Nope, just him in a non-speaking role hanging out at a table in the bar with the freshman kid that kept dropping the ball and the mushroom headed dude from "E.R."

I asked him what part of sitting in a make believe bar was related to personal training?


#14

American Psycho?


#15

I am impressed by the "skills" section of his webpage. In particular "accents and dialects".

DIALECTS & ACCENTS:

English, Southern, New Yorker, Aristocrat, British, Irish, Australian, French, Indian

Are you freakin' serious?!?!? Southern accent is a skill???? Absolutely hilarious!


#16

Ben Affleck has really let himself go


#17

I want to hear the Indian accent.

As for the rest of his site, I didn't know The Myspace Angle has broken free of the social website and spread to people's personal site. Run for cover!


#18

Actually, a believable southern accent is a skill. Those of us that it comes naturally to can pick out a fake one in a sec.


#19

His traps are outstanding. I bet he looks crazy hyooge in a polo.


#20

I go to Penn (where he went) and there's so many Dbags like him it's ridiculous. It seems like half the people there think their shit doesn't stink because they got into an ivy league school