T Nation

New to Being a Douchebag, Advice

Off Topic
#1

hi guys! i am new to this site and need some informatoin on how to bulk up and get hyuuuge! i am a big fan of bruce lee in his martial arts movies but also like ryan reynolds. i was wondering what i should do to do that? my current workout looks like this:

Day 1
-bench press
-incline bench press
-decline bench press
-dumbbell curls
-cable curls
-triceps pressdown

Day 2
-lat pulldowns
-cable row
-crunches
-shoulder press machine
-leg raises on roman chair

i don’t workout my legs in the gym because i like to run. what do you guys think? can i get huge?

#2

they see me trollin’

they hatin’

#3

just get rid of day two and just repeat day one over and over, that should do the trick.

#4

Why?

#5

lmfao, bruce lee was skinny, i trained in kenpo for years and know a bit about his training routine. I might advise you focus on shoulders, chest, back, and triceps, biceps come second to a striker. Do you sprint or jog, because long slow runs will take pounds off(trust me, i stoped joggin for a month, and gained almost teb pounds).

Sprinting on the other hand will get you pumped, especially if you do up hill sprinting, if your not sprinting, start doing leg work,deadlifts and squats at the least.hope that helps you some

#6

In between sets, take long deep breaths into a plastic bag for 2 minutes.

#7

“New to Being a Douchebag, Advice”

Really, new? Could have fooled me.

#8

You really should not ignore your lower body, you know. Try maxing out on squats while standing on a stability ball. The walkout’s a little tricky but if you can master that, not only will you get hyooge but you will have amazing functional skillz and ridiculous core strength!

When you’ve figured that out, try adding a blindfold. Oh, and don’t forget, spotters are for pussies.

#9

Dude, I heard some awesome news about that new Ab Rocket.

You should, like, totally check it out.

#10

Dont feed the trolls, people.

#11

If you want to become a level 13 power-douche, just search for posts by me on this forum.

#12

Then look at everyone who replies after I post.

BURN!

#13

[quote]MsM wrote:
squats while standing on a stability ball, try adding a blindfold[/quote]

classic

#14

Get some dbols and take 3x what a normal person would do for 2 years straight.(this is the one that really does it for yah) Then make sure you come off cold turkey :wink:

Curl in the squat rack and grr in the mirror about how hyyyouge you are. Make sure you hit every padded surface with your fists along the way to fountain. Then txt your bro’s about drinking and doing lots of cocaine. Then make your way back the squat station pound out more curls. Repeat 10 times. Flex in the mirror. Then on your way out give dirty looks to everyone. Make sure you stop at the counter and hit on the desk girl. Get in your riced up Honda from the 80’s. Blast some Euro dance mix 2008 as you try to squeal your tires on your way out of the parking lot.

#15

Damn MsM beat me to it with the blindfolded stability ball squats.

I’d add that even with all the other good advice here that to build amazing overall size and strength all you really need to do is squat rack curls.

Focus on those and you’ll be good to go. I’d say you can put on 40lbs of LBM within two or three months. Quicker with dirtbags d-bol idea (but whatever you do, don’t run any Test with it or you’ll lose all your gains).

Finally a note about diet. There is a lot of myth about eating big to get big. Get your calories right down to around 1500 per day. If you can manage to get them even lower then the gains will come faster (hint: Methamphetamine taken daily throughout your training will help).

Keep your alcohol levels high to boost natural Test levels, and remember to never ever eat anything for at least two hours before or after your workout.

HTH

#16

[quote]Renton wrote:

Focus on those and you’ll be good to go. I’d say you can put on 40lbs of LBM within two or three months. Quicker with dirtbags d-bol idea (but whatever you do, don’t run any Test with it or you’ll lose all your gains).

HTH[/quote]

I think they should skip the dbols and go straight for the deca. Only the really hard core will do deca only. And make sure you take like before 3x the normal dose. Keep it deca only. And make sure you stay on for 2 years.

Then we can trade stories about how often you get laid! And your amazing luck with women! Cause the ladies love a huyyyouge man and can smell the deca a mile away!

Keeps up the hard work Douchey Noodle

#17

[quote]IgneLudo wrote:
hi guys! i am new to this site and need some informatoin on how to bulk up and get hyuuuge! i am a big fan of bruce lee in his martial arts movies but also like ryan reynolds. i was wondering what i should do to do that? my current workout looks like this:

Day 1
-bench press
-incline bench press
-decline bench press
-dumbbell curls
-cable curls
-triceps pressdown

Day 2
-lat pulldowns
-cable row
-crunches
-shoulder press machine
-leg raises on roman chair

i don’t workout my legs in the gym because i like to run. what do you guys think? can i get huge? [/quote]

Read Shug’s Crossfit article from last week…

#18

Buy some Affliction and Ed Hardy. Gel hair. Fake tan till orange.

#19

TWO WORDS… THIGH MASTER!!!

GET ONE YOU’LL THANK ME!!!

…dumbass~!

#20

meh