[quote]Edevus wrote:
My situation was certainly not as yours, but I started a new life by moving to a different country. Being away from everything and everyone was what I really needed to “start living”.
I think that this feeling of freedom can do a great deal of good things to a person. [/quote]
I did the same!
While I thankfully did not face the death of a child, most of the rest of it happened to me, plus getting saddled with debt.
I think the first step is to examine yourself. It sounds dumb, but I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted out of the rest of life, now that about half of it was over. Think about what it would take to make you happy. What kind of work would you want to do? What kind of people would you want to be around? (I mean friends and coworkers, too – not just a lover.) Where would you like to live, if you could pack up and move?
The more you can nail those things down, the more you can go after them. In a way, it’s similar to training. You can flounder around without any clear goals. That’s still probably better than doing absolutely nothing, but it also won’t lead to progress. Or, you can formulate goals and pursue a plan to get there. I did the latter. Once I got going pursuing what I wanted and what I recognized as good for me, I almost surprised myself with the persistance and dedication I put into it.
I’m not saying that everything is perfect for me now, but I’m definitely happier than at any time since childhood. I have a girlfriend I genuinely enjoy being around, one that is the kind of person I aspire to be. I have plenty of work that is fulfilling and that I’m naturally good at. And, I get to live in an exciting city that feels like home to me. The next step is to use the extra money I’m making to vanquish my remaining debts.
Look, the fact that you’re even thinking about starting over is a good sign. Some people are so stuck in a rut they don’t even see the rut anymore. Just hang in there. Come up with a plan – your plan, not someone else’s – and start taking active steps to get where you want to go. Just beginning to move in a new direction will start to improve your outlook, and that in turn will add further fuel to your efforts.