T Nation

New Evidence of DB Cooper


They're On To Me



I saw this on HuffPo and thought of you.


I saw it on CNN and immediately called my lawyer and then booked a one-way flight to Tuvalu.


Youre slippin man

Theyll never find Rockula

meet me at the safe house




I'll admit, it was me.

I sent them a RAPE AXE that I purchased from you guys. You better hope you didn't package them up yourself.


Damn Feds. Shit happened in the seventies should stay in the seventies.


Run Coop !

First they got Whitey Bulger, and now they are on to you !


I'm running Maximus, I'm running!


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HAHAHAHA! No, I suppose I won't. Count, do you have a large supply of it at the safe house?


Damn right I do. The safe house is laboratory 25b. You know, the one on "the Moon".....





Carry on gentlemen.


DB.....you better run, if they catch you, you will be going to the Big House.........then after a few trips to the shower and dropping the soap they will have to call you DB POOPER ..................hahahahahahahaa


Mr. Cooper's RAPEAXE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! constantly updates itself with the latest anti bootyfucking software. So, nothing enters his asshole without the self destruct feature being enabled. At which point the RAPEAXE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! covers a 1.750 mile radius with acid before it explodes with the force af 16 HydrogenBombs.




I had some DNA evidence.

But I eated it.

I mean, Count did.



I spent all day hiding from the feds on my surfboard off a nudist beach near Davenport today. They'll never find me.

Thanks for setting Cap straight for me Count. You'd think the guy would know that the VP of sales and the CFO of RAPEAXE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! would have the latest and greatest RAPEAXE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! products permanently shoved up his ass. I'm not only a founder, I'm also a client.