I am 41, 5'10" 245lbs, have been fairly fit in the past but getting more and more out of shape the past several years. Carrying all the weight in my gut it seems and my legs just get skinnier. Just to give an idea how I am now.
I've had Primary Hypogonadism since 18. At that age I was working 12 to 14 hour days plus lifting weights 2 hrs a day 4 days a week. I did not take steroids. The only supplements I took were those multi level marketing Shaklee supplements and shakes.
I was lifting more weight than ever and feeling great! One day my workouts didn't work. Then I was feeling so bad I even stayed home from work thinking I must be sick. I never got better. I never lifted weights again. But I stayed in shape being super disciplined with diet and doing cardio and chopping wood and just staying fit but I would sometimes get very depressed and often felt like my body didn't work. I would work all day but after work I had to go home and meditate and sleep while the other guys were inviting me to go out to the bars and parties and I just couldn't physically handle it like they could. I went to psychotherapy and did every self help thing I could do because I didn't know what was wrong with me. Doctors told me it was in my head.
Doctors would tell me I was the healthiest patient they had and there was nothing wrong with me. Until finally at age 34 I admitted I couldn't get an erection. I was diagnosed with Primary Hypogonadism and the theory from multiple doctors was that my immune system attacked my testosterone factory when I was 18.
I took a "sample" the doctor gave me of Testim. A tube a day for 3 days. I felt like I was 18 again. In my mind I felt an emotional drive and caring for myself I haven't felt since 18. Several months later I got on the replacement permanently taking Testim every day. The doctor also gave me a "booster shot" of testosterone. I grew some boobs that night. And unfortunately the therapy wasn't making me feel great at all like the 3 day sample I took months before. I then changed to Androgel and then to Androgel 1.62. I never felt great. I usually felt bad. I was tired and muscle recovery was not good. I was very anxious and having depression symptoms. After a couple years I changed to Axiron. I felt much better. Not like that first 3 day sample, not totally normal. But I got in better shape, my muscles were recovering from physical work and I got stronger. I was not anxious and felt good and focused on doing whatever needed to be done at work and at home. Life was getting better. Then because of insurance I changed back to Androgel 1.62 and have been on that for 2 1/2 years now. I went back to feeling bad. My doctor tried doubling the dose. It didn't help. Then to a 1 1/2 dose which is 3 pumps a day which is what I take now. I mentioned some stuff I had read about on the internet about estrogen and he actually laughed at me and told me I was wrong that Testosterone has nothing to do with estrogen.
So I finally got a new primary doctor in March and eventually an endocronologist for the 1st time too. Determined to get to the bottom of this I went to many appointments and did whatever they wanted me to and at home I tried my best to push through symptoms and be healthier and happier.
1st they put me on androderm patch because thats what insurance wants to try. It needed pre auth, I ran out of Androgel, so I paid $600 out of my pocket for 1 month of Axiron.
I also started going to psychotherapy for depression. I don't have any depressive or mental disorder besides just the T symptoms and also lifes been tough the last decade.
Took Axiron for 1 month. Felt better, lost weight, got in better shape, was getting so much more work done at my job and at home after work. I was starting to be happy all the time for no reason thinking of happy memories and solving problems rather than worrying about them.
Started Androderm patch and took it for 5 days, 1 patch. I immediately felt horrible.Tested 60 for Total Testosterone on 5th day. I gained fat around my hips I think, like fats there that wasn't before. I definitely grew some more boobs and they haven't gone away. After 5th day doc had me double the patches. 3 days later that hadn't helped and I switched to Generic Testim.
Took Generic Testim for 1 month. Felt better, had better muscle recovery. Felt happier but my mind was not working right. Couldn't remember anything. Would get very confused very easily. For some reason the first 10 days I was on Testim I uncontrollably passed out early in the day for hours at a time. Sometimes like 6 to 8 hrs just dead to the world in the middle of the day. (I have a flexible work schedule and work from home a lot so no one to wake me up) It got better but sometimes would still fall asleep during the day once or twice a week.
Went back to Androgel 1.62, back to feeling exactly how I did months before. I feel bad. I feel depressed. Can't get in better shape. Everything is a struggle all day. My mind is working a little better than on Generic Testim. For some reason I still fall asleep during the day uncontrollably about once or twice a week. That rarely happened before until I had tried the Generic Testim this last time.
I started reading some stuff on here and brought up estrogen at my last endo visit. The endo had nothing to say about my symptoms on all the T's him and the primary put me on the past few months. He said what do you want me to do give you shots? Im like no how about looking into why I have good T levels on Androgel but have these symptoms? like maybe Estrogen?? He said yeah I can do that and just wrote a script for 1mg Armidex. He wasn't even going to test my blood but I made him. Unfortunately it came back with what I think is a good level. The Estrogen test came back as 20 which was low end of normal.
So I'm at a loss. Why does Axiron almost work? By the way ED has gotten worse over these years and now my sex drive/ability is pretty much zero. It remained that on all the T meds, even when on Axiron it didnt get better. Why does Androgel give me normal T levels but I feel horrible and can't get stronger. (I do physical work part of the week. As much as my body will let me which is not a lot these days.) I really thought the E levels would explain it. What do guys think? Sorry for the long story but I figured Id just get it all out there and maybe someone can help me can perspective because I have none at this point. Thank you so much.